I had something else I was going to write about. Actually, when I clicked on THIS story, I thought it was the story that I wanted to write about. I'm glad I was wrong.
What really grabbed my attention about this story was that it's right here in my backyard!! I used work directly across the street from the school where he teaches. Spent far too many Spring afternoons watching their baseball team dominate their opponents from my office window.
Chris Murray was touched by the story of a 17-year-old lesbian from his school. Her story moved him to action! Speaking in front of all of the school's teachers and administrators, "Emily" went on to tell how it felt to be an lgbt student at their school. How it felt to know that there were some teachers who clearly displayed that they just didn't care what happened to the lgbt students. How seeing their response, or lack thereof, to situations of harassment or worse was tantamount to telling the lgbt students that they didn't matter. Further, it felt as though they were sending the message to the ones harassing and bullying that their actions were ok. I'm certain that it wasn't unlike the plight of any student at any school in the country: some administrators do NOTHING to intervene when they witness the harassment and bullying that the lgbt students must endure. And, what we already know to be true, "Emily" was able to convey to those who cared, most notably Chris Murray. In response, Mr. Murray took action.
Following the lead of GLSEN (the gay, lesbian, straight education network), Chris has introduced the Team Respect Challenge at his high school. Further, he's encourage other teachers and coaches to do the same. Unfortunately, not all will follow his lead. That's to be expected. That only serves to remind us that there's still lots and lots of work that need to be done. When we have adults in power positions who still turn a blind eye on the very volatile situation that is harassment and bullying of people who are perceived as different, you know there's lots of work to be done.
There are more Chris Murray's out there. Slowly but surely, we're finding them. And, they're making a contribution for the better. Isn't that what it's supposed to be about?
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Edmund Padilla Needs Your Prayers
We've heard the old one-step-forward-two-steps-back theory. Right now, in this first week of 2012, it feels as though we've omitted to one-step-forward part of the equation.
Nineteen-year-old Edmund Padilla, of the Phillipines, was scalded by boiling water by his father when he came out as being gay.
This throws everything out the window. All the talk of educating the adults and parents. Tossed. All the talk of "It Gets Better". Hurled! Etched in Edmund's mind now is "it doesn't get better". He was rejected violently by his own father. Worse, he's now been scarred, both emotionally and physically, for life by the very person who created him.
The question has been asked several times this week: "when will it end"? My answer has been consistent: "It will start to change when we stop TALKING about it and start taking action".
For now, as Edmund lies in burn unit in the Phillipines, we pray for his recovery. It's going to be a long, painful road.
Then, we focus our attention on the monster of a father, drunk or not, who did this to ANY human being, not to mention his very own flesh and blood. We demand that he is brought to full justice for his actions.
And, last but certainly not least, we understand that this is no easy task. There truly are sick people in this world, people who would condone this type of violence towards the lgbt community. (remember the failed Michigan bill and the current bill in Tennessee that would SANCTION this type of behavior if passed) In everything we do, we MUST make it clear that this type of behavior will not be tolerated. Not by other teens. Not by school administrators. And, certainly not by the parents. Zero tolerance means just that.
Nineteen-year-old Edmund Padilla, of the Phillipines, was scalded by boiling water by his father when he came out as being gay.
This throws everything out the window. All the talk of educating the adults and parents. Tossed. All the talk of "It Gets Better". Hurled! Etched in Edmund's mind now is "it doesn't get better". He was rejected violently by his own father. Worse, he's now been scarred, both emotionally and physically, for life by the very person who created him.
The question has been asked several times this week: "when will it end"? My answer has been consistent: "It will start to change when we stop TALKING about it and start taking action".
For now, as Edmund lies in burn unit in the Phillipines, we pray for his recovery. It's going to be a long, painful road.
Then, we focus our attention on the monster of a father, drunk or not, who did this to ANY human being, not to mention his very own flesh and blood. We demand that he is brought to full justice for his actions.
And, last but certainly not least, we understand that this is no easy task. There truly are sick people in this world, people who would condone this type of violence towards the lgbt community. (remember the failed Michigan bill and the current bill in Tennessee that would SANCTION this type of behavior if passed) In everything we do, we MUST make it clear that this type of behavior will not be tolerated. Not by other teens. Not by school administrators. And, certainly not by the parents. Zero tolerance means just that.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
A Story of Remarkable Strength, Courage, and Caring
If you look around our social landscape, you see a bleak picture painted by the brush of today's youth who see no other way out but suicide.
If you look around the world's leading social network, you see many pages by many people who are trying to make a difference by attempting to stem the tide of teen suicides. Right there leading the charge is STOP Teenage Suicide.
The page's founder, Lyndsay Winegarden, has a remarkable story. It's a story of strength, courage, perseverance, and caring. Read it for yourself. It's...well...what I just said. And then some.
What she has created, STOP Teenage Suicide, has been a very effective tool. She tells of how many young lives she saved just over the recently-passed holidays, alone. The membership of the group is growing by the day as people from all around the world are finding out that it's a place for helping as well as being helped. And, as she said in her own words, "if I can save even one life, it will all be worth it". Indeed. She's not just saving "...one life...", she's saving and helping many.
This is amazing considering where she's come from and everything she's had to deal with. Her story, alone, should be enough to inspire any teen when they're in their darkest hour. Enduring what Lyndsay's had to endure, even as she worked through a deep depression, and coming out stronger for it sends a very strong, crystal clear message of "yes, it really does get better". People are now paying attention to what she has to say. And, the timing for that couldn't be better as the battle to end teen suicide has never been more impassioned than today.
This business of trying to save lives is no easy task, by any stretch of the imagination. By getting involved, we understand that we will be required, at some point, to make many sacrifices. Sometimes, it's time consuming. Sometimes, especially when the at-risk teen is on the other side of the world, it's hard to find the resources you need to keep that teen alive. All of the time, it's emotionally draining. There are many, many people giving their best effort to make a difference, trying to end teen suicides. There are tireless people on countless pages and website. There are bloggers. You quickly come to understand that what you're doing is changing lives. Right now, no one is doing that better than Lyndsay Winegarden and her creation, STOP Teenage Suicide.
If you look around the world's leading social network, you see many pages by many people who are trying to make a difference by attempting to stem the tide of teen suicides. Right there leading the charge is STOP Teenage Suicide.
The page's founder, Lyndsay Winegarden, has a remarkable story. It's a story of strength, courage, perseverance, and caring. Read it for yourself. It's...well...what I just said. And then some.
What she has created, STOP Teenage Suicide, has been a very effective tool. She tells of how many young lives she saved just over the recently-passed holidays, alone. The membership of the group is growing by the day as people from all around the world are finding out that it's a place for helping as well as being helped. And, as she said in her own words, "if I can save even one life, it will all be worth it". Indeed. She's not just saving "...one life...", she's saving and helping many.
This is amazing considering where she's come from and everything she's had to deal with. Her story, alone, should be enough to inspire any teen when they're in their darkest hour. Enduring what Lyndsay's had to endure, even as she worked through a deep depression, and coming out stronger for it sends a very strong, crystal clear message of "yes, it really does get better". People are now paying attention to what she has to say. And, the timing for that couldn't be better as the battle to end teen suicide has never been more impassioned than today.
This business of trying to save lives is no easy task, by any stretch of the imagination. By getting involved, we understand that we will be required, at some point, to make many sacrifices. Sometimes, it's time consuming. Sometimes, especially when the at-risk teen is on the other side of the world, it's hard to find the resources you need to keep that teen alive. All of the time, it's emotionally draining. There are many, many people giving their best effort to make a difference, trying to end teen suicides. There are tireless people on countless pages and website. There are bloggers. You quickly come to understand that what you're doing is changing lives. Right now, no one is doing that better than Lyndsay Winegarden and her creation, STOP Teenage Suicide.
Alex Frye, 13, Railroad Enthusiast...Bullycide Victim
He loved railroads. He had a mindset that set him apart from kids his age. Early morning January 1st, Alexander Frye committed suicide.
According a family member, there were no indications that anything was troubling him. He was "...smart, caring, and perhaps the most mature 13 year old [anyone] had ever known." According to another family member is "one hundred percent..." certain that his suicide "...was sparked by bullying".
Most astonishing to me was a quote from a suicide prevention team leader for the Wyoming Department of Health. "It is rare for someone so young to take his own life."
Speechless.
We're 5 days into the new year, and I've already reported 2 teen suicides. Chances are there are a couple more that didn't get publicized. As I told a mourner of the young Staten Island girl who committed suicide, things won't change until people stop talking about "how bad" or "how sad" it is and start actually getting involved.
Alex was a brilliant young man. He had a passion for trains. He befriended adults much easier than kids his age. Smart. Intelligent. Caring. And now, another victim of bullycide. This HAS to end.
Rest in Peace, Alex Frye.
According a family member, there were no indications that anything was troubling him. He was "...smart, caring, and perhaps the most mature 13 year old [anyone] had ever known." According to another family member is "one hundred percent..." certain that his suicide "...was sparked by bullying".
Most astonishing to me was a quote from a suicide prevention team leader for the Wyoming Department of Health. "It is rare for someone so young to take his own life."
Speechless.
We're 5 days into the new year, and I've already reported 2 teen suicides. Chances are there are a couple more that didn't get publicized. As I told a mourner of the young Staten Island girl who committed suicide, things won't change until people stop talking about "how bad" or "how sad" it is and start actually getting involved.
Alex was a brilliant young man. He had a passion for trains. He befriended adults much easier than kids his age. Smart. Intelligent. Caring. And now, another victim of bullycide. This HAS to end.
Rest in Peace, Alex Frye.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
It Has Happened AGAIN!: Amanda Diane Cummings, We Love You!! R.I.P.
On Staten Island, New York Monday evening, 15 year old Amanda Diane Cummings jumped in front of a bus while carrying a suicide note. She later died from her injuries. And, once again, it was a bullycide.
The report says she was bullied to the extent where her bullies would steal her possessions, including her phone, shoes, and jacket. Worse, these bullies still posted vile comments and remarks on Amanda's facebook page even as she lie dying in a hospital.
Of course, if these bullies lived in Tennessee, and if this hate bill passes, it would be completely ok that their actions killed Amanda, as long as they bullied her because of religious beliefs. Luckily, and thankfully, a relative has vowed that the family will seek legal action against the bullies and "...go full force". Bravo. Zero tolerance. This will end no other way.
No judge's ruling will bring Amanda Diane Cummings back to her family. May you rest in peace, Amanda. They don't bully in Heaven.
The report says she was bullied to the extent where her bullies would steal her possessions, including her phone, shoes, and jacket. Worse, these bullies still posted vile comments and remarks on Amanda's facebook page even as she lie dying in a hospital.
Of course, if these bullies lived in Tennessee, and if this hate bill passes, it would be completely ok that their actions killed Amanda, as long as they bullied her because of religious beliefs. Luckily, and thankfully, a relative has vowed that the family will seek legal action against the bullies and "...go full force". Bravo. Zero tolerance. This will end no other way.
No judge's ruling will bring Amanda Diane Cummings back to her family. May you rest in peace, Amanda. They don't bully in Heaven.
Tennessee Still Doesn't Get It
Ok, didn't we just go through this with Michigan? Following the failed lead of Michigan, Tennessee has a proposed bill that would make it ok to bully gay teens. Or, as they self-righteously worded it: they are more interested in protecting "...those expressing religious, philosophical, or political beliefs..." than they are in protecting gay teens. Or, as they preposterously put it, they really DO want to protect kids from bullying, but they don't want to "...create special classes of people who are more important than others." These are ELECTED officials!! Officials that We The People put into office by virtue of our votes.
I would hope that every parent of lgbt teens in Tennessee will band together and, not only defeat this proposed bill before it even gets started, start a grass root movement to get the person(s) responsible for even introducing such incredibly hateful, and potentially harmful, legislation in the first place.
Once again, we're forced to look reality squarely in the eyes and acknowledge that the change that's needed starts with the adults. It's an embarrassment to our "developed", "civilized" society that we have elected officials who clearly, honestly believe that it is absolutely alright for your lgbt kids to be bullied as long as the bully is doing it in the name of God. I don't know about you, but it scares me in a deep place that there are people of power who believe this is a right and righteous decision.
Thank God (the loving God, that is) that there's a huge army in place to combat madness such as this. Collectively, we were able to get a similarly worded bill reworded in Michigan. Now, we must focus our attention to Tennessee. Whatever it takes, we have to make sure that this bill never even reaches the floor. The Jacob Rogers' of Tennessee are counting on us.
I would hope that every parent of lgbt teens in Tennessee will band together and, not only defeat this proposed bill before it even gets started, start a grass root movement to get the person(s) responsible for even introducing such incredibly hateful, and potentially harmful, legislation in the first place.
Once again, we're forced to look reality squarely in the eyes and acknowledge that the change that's needed starts with the adults. It's an embarrassment to our "developed", "civilized" society that we have elected officials who clearly, honestly believe that it is absolutely alright for your lgbt kids to be bullied as long as the bully is doing it in the name of God. I don't know about you, but it scares me in a deep place that there are people of power who believe this is a right and righteous decision.
Thank God (the loving God, that is) that there's a huge army in place to combat madness such as this. Collectively, we were able to get a similarly worded bill reworded in Michigan. Now, we must focus our attention to Tennessee. Whatever it takes, we have to make sure that this bill never even reaches the floor. The Jacob Rogers' of Tennessee are counting on us.
Wiping Out Homophobia on Facebook
You know how the Internet works: one link leads to another link to another link and, before you know it, you're right there staring at the screen saying "WOW!!!". That was the case with me back in early fall of last year. I ended up on a facebook page that was right in the middle of going viral. If you've never witnessed that, it's an amazing thing to watch. When I "joined" the community, by simply clicking the "like" button, there were less that 100,000 members. By the minute, those numbers were increasing by the dozens. Dozens...as in plural. I watched in excited awe as this page just literally blew up into one of the true giants on the social network behemoth. To become a giant on a network that has over 8 HUNDRED MILLION people on it is an accomplishment of enormous proportions. What could a single page create such a buzz and generate such a massive, and quite active, audience in such a short time? They're in the "business" of changing lives.
Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook had a main goal, when I joined it, of spotting pages on facebook that promoted hatred and intolerance towards the gay community and getting them eliminated from the social network. Since then, it's morphed into so much more. Today, they have gay married couples posting wedding pictures. Today, they have suicidal gay teens, or their parents, writing in to give their own testimonial of how Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook (WHOF) saved their life. Oh, and today, they still root out homophobic hatred and intolerance on facebook.
Becoming part of this burgeoning community was an exhilarating experience. Immediately, it became my de facto homepage on facebook. I was there at least 10-1 more than I was on my own "home" page. This was where I was supposed to be. This was my community. I'd post comments, read other's stories of happiness and sadness, and share their links and stories to the friends on my own pages. (call it my second coming out!)
In October, WHOF changed my life forever. I returned from work to read the headline "We Failed Another Gay Teen". See, that's been my hot-button for most of my adult life: Gay teen suicide. So, naturally, when I saw that headline, it grabbed my full attention. I dug deeper and found Jamie's videos on youtube. I sat in stunned disbelief as I watched all 12 of them from beginning to end. I read his tumblr blog. And, then I got mad. I'd written songs about gay teen suicide, but no one really paid much attention to them. That was supposed to be my way of doing my part to help bring awareness to the problem. If no one is listening, the message isn't going anywhere. Right then and there, I made the decision to get deeper involved. That's when this blog was born. If there were a "family tree" for this blog, WHOF would have to be the root.
Kevin O'Neill, or Kel, is the creator and founder of WHOF, which also has a website: whof.net. In his own words, "we [also] have a lot of 'straight' supporters who learn a lot about us." It's people from all around the world, gay and straight, black and white and red and green, young and old, male and female, coming together to form a loving community of sharing and caring. And, sometimes, just being. Kel, and WHOF, changed my life forever. Now, multiply that by the 277,000+ "members" who are in the community, and you'll get a better picture of the impact this page has had on people around the world.
There's a massive army formed to combat homophobia, to educate people on how to stop bullying, and most importantly to prevent gay teen suicides. WHOF, is right there in the trenches leading the way. We are all much better off with Kel, and his creation, in the world.
Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook had a main goal, when I joined it, of spotting pages on facebook that promoted hatred and intolerance towards the gay community and getting them eliminated from the social network. Since then, it's morphed into so much more. Today, they have gay married couples posting wedding pictures. Today, they have suicidal gay teens, or their parents, writing in to give their own testimonial of how Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook (WHOF) saved their life. Oh, and today, they still root out homophobic hatred and intolerance on facebook.
Becoming part of this burgeoning community was an exhilarating experience. Immediately, it became my de facto homepage on facebook. I was there at least 10-1 more than I was on my own "home" page. This was where I was supposed to be. This was my community. I'd post comments, read other's stories of happiness and sadness, and share their links and stories to the friends on my own pages. (call it my second coming out!)
In October, WHOF changed my life forever. I returned from work to read the headline "We Failed Another Gay Teen". See, that's been my hot-button for most of my adult life: Gay teen suicide. So, naturally, when I saw that headline, it grabbed my full attention. I dug deeper and found Jamie's videos on youtube. I sat in stunned disbelief as I watched all 12 of them from beginning to end. I read his tumblr blog. And, then I got mad. I'd written songs about gay teen suicide, but no one really paid much attention to them. That was supposed to be my way of doing my part to help bring awareness to the problem. If no one is listening, the message isn't going anywhere. Right then and there, I made the decision to get deeper involved. That's when this blog was born. If there were a "family tree" for this blog, WHOF would have to be the root.
Kevin O'Neill, or Kel, is the creator and founder of WHOF, which also has a website: whof.net. In his own words, "we [also] have a lot of 'straight' supporters who learn a lot about us." It's people from all around the world, gay and straight, black and white and red and green, young and old, male and female, coming together to form a loving community of sharing and caring. And, sometimes, just being. Kel, and WHOF, changed my life forever. Now, multiply that by the 277,000+ "members" who are in the community, and you'll get a better picture of the impact this page has had on people around the world.
There's a massive army formed to combat homophobia, to educate people on how to stop bullying, and most importantly to prevent gay teen suicides. WHOF, is right there in the trenches leading the way. We are all much better off with Kel, and his creation, in the world.
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