Tomorrow at 1:00pm, the family and friends of Colton Wilson will say goodbye to the boy they only had the pleasure of knowing for a short 13 years but will love forever. Tomorrow, at 1:00pm, say a prayer, sing a song, light a candle. Anything. Just do something to say goodbye to the young man most of us never knew but will always remember as yet another life that ended far too soon.
For those of you who would like to leave online condolences for the family, there is a facebook page set up in his memory. I'm sure that they would love to hear from you all.
I read recently that suicides for 2011 were at a 40 year low. I find that hard to believe but am ecstatic if it's true. And, yet, to the family and friends of young Colton and the myriad other suicide victims of 2011, that number is completely meaningless. The goal, my prayer, is to get the number of teen suicides down to zero in 2012. Perhaps that's unrealistic, but if we keep that as our goal and work feverishly towards that goal, we will see the number drop significantly in the coming year. That means less families and friends who have to suffer an excruciating pain. That means less young lives lost because of suicide. Now, THAT'S a New Year's resolution!!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Each One Teach One
This morning, I received an email from a family member of Colton Wilson, a recent suicide victim. In it, she thanked me profusely for caring and for sharing her brother's and her family's story with everyone. It touched me like no other email I've ever received. Young Colton's funeral is coming up Wednesday at 1:00pm. I will play a song for him that day, for sure. And, I'll undoubtedly shed a tear for a boy I never knew.
Reading that email made me understand that this blog is really making a difference in its own little way. If I'm touching someone's life, that's what it's all about. If I'm helping to save a life, that's REALLY what it's all about!! Inspired by the suicide death of Jamie Hubley, I've set out on a mission that will not end until I take my last breath. And, that mission is to make a difference somewhere in this world and to start doing my part, small as it may be, to try to prevent some young person from committing suicide. It's a daunting task, I've since learned.
Writing about it isn't hardly enough. I tried that before, writing about it in some of my songs. Not enough people were listening. Fair enough. Then, in October, I read about Jamie in Ottawa, and my life changed forever. I knew then that I had to get deeper involved. And, I have. This blog is being read by over 100 people daily, with more readers coming in almost daily. Easily, this blog has more of an audience than my music ever had, and I write good music!
So, now, the mission is to take this to the next level. Writing about it is good. People are connecting. People are relating. And, people are healing. But, how do we go about making a serious change in our social landscape? How do we begin to turn the tide so that teen suicide, be they gay, straight, or Martian, becomes a thing of the past? The answer, to me at least, is a very obvious one: the #1 place to start is a total re-education of our society as a whole. That's a monumental task! People are set in their ways. People, including and maybe especially the young, live the way they're taught. So, how do you climb that big mountain? One step at a time. That's the approach we need to take.
So, here's the challenge: each one (who reads this) teach one. This is a two-parter, actually. First step, be kind to someone you don't know. Show compassion and understanding to someone you don't know. Everyday. You never know how your kindness will affect someone. That one person may be having the worst day of his/her life. You could prevent something tragic from happening. If nothing else, you'll put a smile on their face. How can that be wrong? The second part to the challenge is equally important: teach ONE PERSON to do what you're doing. BOTH parts! That's called paying it forward. If we can get that ball rolling, imagine the effect it will have in just a month's time! If you need added motivation to get started on the challenge, I'll provide you with a few:
Reading that email made me understand that this blog is really making a difference in its own little way. If I'm touching someone's life, that's what it's all about. If I'm helping to save a life, that's REALLY what it's all about!! Inspired by the suicide death of Jamie Hubley, I've set out on a mission that will not end until I take my last breath. And, that mission is to make a difference somewhere in this world and to start doing my part, small as it may be, to try to prevent some young person from committing suicide. It's a daunting task, I've since learned.
Writing about it isn't hardly enough. I tried that before, writing about it in some of my songs. Not enough people were listening. Fair enough. Then, in October, I read about Jamie in Ottawa, and my life changed forever. I knew then that I had to get deeper involved. And, I have. This blog is being read by over 100 people daily, with more readers coming in almost daily. Easily, this blog has more of an audience than my music ever had, and I write good music!
So, now, the mission is to take this to the next level. Writing about it is good. People are connecting. People are relating. And, people are healing. But, how do we go about making a serious change in our social landscape? How do we begin to turn the tide so that teen suicide, be they gay, straight, or Martian, becomes a thing of the past? The answer, to me at least, is a very obvious one: the #1 place to start is a total re-education of our society as a whole. That's a monumental task! People are set in their ways. People, including and maybe especially the young, live the way they're taught. So, how do you climb that big mountain? One step at a time. That's the approach we need to take.
So, here's the challenge: each one (who reads this) teach one. This is a two-parter, actually. First step, be kind to someone you don't know. Show compassion and understanding to someone you don't know. Everyday. You never know how your kindness will affect someone. That one person may be having the worst day of his/her life. You could prevent something tragic from happening. If nothing else, you'll put a smile on their face. How can that be wrong? The second part to the challenge is equally important: teach ONE PERSON to do what you're doing. BOTH parts! That's called paying it forward. If we can get that ball rolling, imagine the effect it will have in just a month's time! If you need added motivation to get started on the challenge, I'll provide you with a few:
- Jamey Rodemeyer
- Jamie Hubley
- Jasmine McClain
- Cameron DeVeronica
- Colton Wilson
- Ashlynn Connor
- Mason Carter
- Jacob Rogers
All of these names are from teenagers who committed suicide just since September!!!! And, there are many more. Do I really need to go on? Enough really is enough. Let's start making a difference.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Taking Bullying to a Whole New Level
We've grown use, and perhaps desensitized, to hearing about bullying in our schools. We've even coined a new term for the victims of it who commit suicide because of it: bullycide. We know that the effects of it can be devastating both the victims as well as the families and friends of the victims. But, we don't expect to hear about a bullycide coming from our military.
Danny Chen was a 19-year-old Army soldier, fresh into the military. He had only been in Afghanistan since August. Sadly, his enemy wasn't the Taliban; it was his own fellow soldiers. On October 3rd, Danny pulled the trigger on his young life. He was taunted because of his race. He was physically abused, even by his superiors.
Currently, 8 people are facing charges in Danny's death. I think that's a great thing. We are all aware of the dangers of going off to war. We fully realize that there's at least a 50-50 chance that we'll never see our loved one again. War is hell. But, we expect the threat to come from the enemy, not those who wave the same flag.
This only serves to prove that we have a very deep societal issue. See, it's not just the kids we have to be concerned about. You've seen it written here, as well as other places I'm sure, that the only way we're going to begin to make a change in our culture and end the senseless bullying is by re-educating our people. And, as perfectly illustrated here, and as I've said many time over, that re-education HAS to start with the adults. See, it's not enough to tell the kids that they shouldn't be mean to others. That they should treat all people with respect and kindness. That they should accept all people for who they are.
Young people are far from stupid. They reject the notion of "do as I say, not as I do!" If they're seeing teachers stuff students into duffel bags, if they're seeing politicians condemn people because of their sexuality, if they're seeing the men who serve and protect our country bully one of their own because of his race, they're not going to listen to the message of kindness and acceptance. Plain and simple. They're going to follow the lead being provide to them by the people they learn from: the adults.
The Army says they're "...taking this matter very seriously". We'll have to wait and see by their actions. Punishing those who are directly responsible for Danny Chen's death is a great start. But, it's only a start. In order to begin to truly work towards ending this epidemic, there HAS to be a re-education of our society as a whole. That's a daunting task, but it isn't impossible. The important thing is that it's clearly the only way we're going to start to see a change.
Danny Chen was a 19-year-old Army soldier, fresh into the military. He had only been in Afghanistan since August. Sadly, his enemy wasn't the Taliban; it was his own fellow soldiers. On October 3rd, Danny pulled the trigger on his young life. He was taunted because of his race. He was physically abused, even by his superiors.
Currently, 8 people are facing charges in Danny's death. I think that's a great thing. We are all aware of the dangers of going off to war. We fully realize that there's at least a 50-50 chance that we'll never see our loved one again. War is hell. But, we expect the threat to come from the enemy, not those who wave the same flag.
This only serves to prove that we have a very deep societal issue. See, it's not just the kids we have to be concerned about. You've seen it written here, as well as other places I'm sure, that the only way we're going to begin to make a change in our culture and end the senseless bullying is by re-educating our people. And, as perfectly illustrated here, and as I've said many time over, that re-education HAS to start with the adults. See, it's not enough to tell the kids that they shouldn't be mean to others. That they should treat all people with respect and kindness. That they should accept all people for who they are.
Young people are far from stupid. They reject the notion of "do as I say, not as I do!" If they're seeing teachers stuff students into duffel bags, if they're seeing politicians condemn people because of their sexuality, if they're seeing the men who serve and protect our country bully one of their own because of his race, they're not going to listen to the message of kindness and acceptance. Plain and simple. They're going to follow the lead being provide to them by the people they learn from: the adults.
The Army says they're "...taking this matter very seriously". We'll have to wait and see by their actions. Punishing those who are directly responsible for Danny Chen's death is a great start. But, it's only a start. In order to begin to truly work towards ending this epidemic, there HAS to be a re-education of our society as a whole. That's a daunting task, but it isn't impossible. The important thing is that it's clearly the only way we're going to start to see a change.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
T'was the Night Before Christmas
Here we are, just over two hours short of Christmas. In some parts, it's already Christmas. (right Aaron?) For many, this is a time to be with family. To exchange gifts. To see the sparkle in the eyes of the "good girls and boys" as they tear the wrappings off of "just what I wanted!!!!" For some, it's the time to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus.
Unfortunately, there are far, far too many families who, right now, are hurting because they're celebrating this Christmas with one less family member. A family member lost tragically to suicide. And, it's to those families, and friends, that my heart really goes out to. While we all gather around our Christmas trees with our families, our loved ones, our friends, keep these people close to your hearts. I know I will.
So, right now, I just want to take time out to wish a very Merry Christmas to you, Jamey Rodemeyer. And, to you Jasmine McClain. And, you, too, Ashlynn Conner. You, Roger Crouch. Colton Wilson, Merry Christmas. Also to you, Jacob Rogers. Merry Christmas to you, Mason Carter. And, to you, Isabelle Guyler. Ben Lewis, you, too. And, Cameron DeVeronica, Merry Christmas.
And, then there's Jamie Hubley. I'm sure you're leading the choir right now singing beautiful Christmas carols. You've probably even done a rousing rendition of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch!!". I'm sure they'll love it as much as we did here. I singled you out, Jamie, because even though every single one of these suicides touched me profoundly, you have left a mark on me forever. You changed my life. So, to you my friend, very Merry Christmas. And, never forget: this blog and always will be inspired by you.
To the families and friends of these wonderful people, I wish you peace, love, and a very Merry Christmas. If you can, take solace in knowing that your loved ones have a front row seat as we celebrate the birth of Jesus.
To those of you who have been reading this blog, I wish you a very Merry Christmas, as well. Thank you so much for continuing to read this blog, for getting involved, and for trying to make a difference. There's no better gift we can give.
Unfortunately, there are far, far too many families who, right now, are hurting because they're celebrating this Christmas with one less family member. A family member lost tragically to suicide. And, it's to those families, and friends, that my heart really goes out to. While we all gather around our Christmas trees with our families, our loved ones, our friends, keep these people close to your hearts. I know I will.
So, right now, I just want to take time out to wish a very Merry Christmas to you, Jamey Rodemeyer. And, to you Jasmine McClain. And, you, too, Ashlynn Conner. You, Roger Crouch. Colton Wilson, Merry Christmas. Also to you, Jacob Rogers. Merry Christmas to you, Mason Carter. And, to you, Isabelle Guyler. Ben Lewis, you, too. And, Cameron DeVeronica, Merry Christmas.
And, then there's Jamie Hubley. I'm sure you're leading the choir right now singing beautiful Christmas carols. You've probably even done a rousing rendition of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch!!". I'm sure they'll love it as much as we did here. I singled you out, Jamie, because even though every single one of these suicides touched me profoundly, you have left a mark on me forever. You changed my life. So, to you my friend, very Merry Christmas. And, never forget: this blog and always will be inspired by you.
To the families and friends of these wonderful people, I wish you peace, love, and a very Merry Christmas. If you can, take solace in knowing that your loved ones have a front row seat as we celebrate the birth of Jesus.
To those of you who have been reading this blog, I wish you a very Merry Christmas, as well. Thank you so much for continuing to read this blog, for getting involved, and for trying to make a difference. There's no better gift we can give.
Student Stuffed in Duffel Bag by SCHOOL EMPLOYEES!!!
Ok, I don't think there's a way to spin this that could possibly justify tying a 4th-grader, or ANYBODY up in a duffel bad. It happened in Louisville, KY. Fourth-grader Christopher Baker, a special needs student with autism, was "jumping off the walls" according the school officials. I guess their means of keeping him off the walls is by restraining him in a duffel bag. That is not only wrong: it's illegal.
It seems we're seeing a rash of stories of SCHOOL OFFICIALS bullying special needs students. It's bad enough for them to have to worry about being bullied by other students. No one should ever have to go through that. It's a whole different ball of wax when the ones doing the bullying are the ones who are paid to educate and provide them with a safe learning environment. The question that begs to be asked is "how can we expect the students to stop the bullying if they're seeing school officials doing it, themselves?" The answer would be "we can't". Do you ever remember me saying that, in order to bring about the necessary change, it's going to have to start with the adults? This story drives home the point.
It is my opinion that the one(s) responsible for this shouldn't only be terminated immediately, they should face criminal charges. In a surprising turn of events, the interim school superintendent cited confidentiality laws as the reason he couldn't comment on the situation. However, after reading the article, I came away with a very clear understanding that the school officials feel that this boy got what he deserved. It's the price you pay for "jumping off the walls". Especially when you're a 10-year-old autistic student.
So, here's a definite call to action: Lydia Brown, herself an 18-year-old autistic student at Georgetown University, started a petition online calling for change in Mercer County's handling of autistic students. It, quite thoroughly, asks for the heads of the school officials responsible for this despicable act. And, it goes further as to add measure to prevent it from ever happening to another student again. I would like to encourage every follower of this blog to sign the petition. Sign it, and pass this along to your own circle of friends and family. We cannot expect to stop the kids from bullying if we allow the school administrators to get away with it. (are you listening, Maryland?) Zero tolerance means absolutely that.
Oh, and if you have kids, tell them unless they like duffel bags, it's probably best they stay off the walls.
It seems we're seeing a rash of stories of SCHOOL OFFICIALS bullying special needs students. It's bad enough for them to have to worry about being bullied by other students. No one should ever have to go through that. It's a whole different ball of wax when the ones doing the bullying are the ones who are paid to educate and provide them with a safe learning environment. The question that begs to be asked is "how can we expect the students to stop the bullying if they're seeing school officials doing it, themselves?" The answer would be "we can't". Do you ever remember me saying that, in order to bring about the necessary change, it's going to have to start with the adults? This story drives home the point.
It is my opinion that the one(s) responsible for this shouldn't only be terminated immediately, they should face criminal charges. In a surprising turn of events, the interim school superintendent cited confidentiality laws as the reason he couldn't comment on the situation. However, after reading the article, I came away with a very clear understanding that the school officials feel that this boy got what he deserved. It's the price you pay for "jumping off the walls". Especially when you're a 10-year-old autistic student.
So, here's a definite call to action: Lydia Brown, herself an 18-year-old autistic student at Georgetown University, started a petition online calling for change in Mercer County's handling of autistic students. It, quite thoroughly, asks for the heads of the school officials responsible for this despicable act. And, it goes further as to add measure to prevent it from ever happening to another student again. I would like to encourage every follower of this blog to sign the petition. Sign it, and pass this along to your own circle of friends and family. We cannot expect to stop the kids from bullying if we allow the school administrators to get away with it. (are you listening, Maryland?) Zero tolerance means absolutely that.
Oh, and if you have kids, tell them unless they like duffel bags, it's probably best they stay off the walls.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Maryland Jury Rules in Favor of School!!!
It's a known fact, for those who pay attention to these kinds of things, that when it comes to court cases, it doesn't matter what the facts are. What matters is what can be proven. A jury in Maryland ruled in favor of the school and school administrators in a high-profile bullying case of a 10-year-old special needs student. In so doing, they cited that there wasn't enough evidence to support the claims of negligence on the administrators' parts. Shame. Shame. Shame.
So, what's the lesson learned in this case? Most importantly is that it really doesn't matter what the facts are, only what can be proven. (just ask O.J. Simpson. I'm sure he'd agree.) So, with that said, know that if you're ever faced with a similar situation, document EVERYTHING! Take pictures. Take videos, if possible. Write, and sign, notes! Keep a log of all phone calls. Keep a log of the responses you get during these phone calls. Leave no stone unturned. See, Ed and Shawna Sullivan didn't do this. They didn't understand the significance of having solid proof. They didn't understand the ramifications of NOT doing so. They thought their word would be enough. They were wrong. And, now, because they didn't know, they will have the task of telling their 10-year-old son that the school administrators got away with not protecting him better. He won't understand. He's 10.
In a sense, the 10-year-old boy got bullied again yesterday by the legal system. Or, was he victimized by parents who didn't understand how the system works. As a 10-year-old, what he understands most is that he, and they, lost.
So, what's the lesson learned in this case? Most importantly is that it really doesn't matter what the facts are, only what can be proven. (just ask O.J. Simpson. I'm sure he'd agree.) So, with that said, know that if you're ever faced with a similar situation, document EVERYTHING! Take pictures. Take videos, if possible. Write, and sign, notes! Keep a log of all phone calls. Keep a log of the responses you get during these phone calls. Leave no stone unturned. See, Ed and Shawna Sullivan didn't do this. They didn't understand the significance of having solid proof. They didn't understand the ramifications of NOT doing so. They thought their word would be enough. They were wrong. And, now, because they didn't know, they will have the task of telling their 10-year-old son that the school administrators got away with not protecting him better. He won't understand. He's 10.
In a sense, the 10-year-old boy got bullied again yesterday by the legal system. Or, was he victimized by parents who didn't understand how the system works. As a 10-year-old, what he understands most is that he, and they, lost.
More on Colton Wilson
Police are still investigating the death of Colton Wilson. His family is saying "it was an accident". Bottom line here is that another young life has ended prematurely.
Rumors of bullycide started circulating almost immediately. The truth is not every teen suicide is the result of bullying. Take Jamie Hubley, for example. Yes, he was bullied, and at least one time severely. However, it wasn't bullying that led Jamie to take his own life. It was depression. A very deep depression.
By all accounts, young Colton wasn't the type who would "...allow himself to be bullied", which I read as saying he had a little bit of spunk to him. Actually, that was refreshing to read. Colton was a baseball player, a wrestler, a NASCAR enthusiast. I read that as him being a bit scrappy...hardly the type who would be bullied. Yet, something terrible happened. Now, he's gone. Now, with Christmas just 2 days away, Colton's family, including his twin brother, and friends are left to sort through this and try to carry on without him.
One heartwarming story is emerging from Colton's death. His organs have been removed and are helping other young people to live. When I suffered the loss of my dear friend so many years ago, we all were able to take solace in the fact that his death had helped others live. Hopefully, the same will be true for Colton's family and friends.
Colton Wilson's family needs help with the funeral and burial costs. At the bottom of the article, click the link, there's information on how you can contribute. Christmas is the time for giving. I can't think of a better gift to give at this moment.
Rumors of bullycide started circulating almost immediately. The truth is not every teen suicide is the result of bullying. Take Jamie Hubley, for example. Yes, he was bullied, and at least one time severely. However, it wasn't bullying that led Jamie to take his own life. It was depression. A very deep depression.
By all accounts, young Colton wasn't the type who would "...allow himself to be bullied", which I read as saying he had a little bit of spunk to him. Actually, that was refreshing to read. Colton was a baseball player, a wrestler, a NASCAR enthusiast. I read that as him being a bit scrappy...hardly the type who would be bullied. Yet, something terrible happened. Now, he's gone. Now, with Christmas just 2 days away, Colton's family, including his twin brother, and friends are left to sort through this and try to carry on without him.
One heartwarming story is emerging from Colton's death. His organs have been removed and are helping other young people to live. When I suffered the loss of my dear friend so many years ago, we all were able to take solace in the fact that his death had helped others live. Hopefully, the same will be true for Colton's family and friends.
Colton Wilson's family needs help with the funeral and burial costs. At the bottom of the article, click the link, there's information on how you can contribute. Christmas is the time for giving. I can't think of a better gift to give at this moment.
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