It seems that most of the things I post are doom and gloom. Then again, a battlefield is never a very happy place. So, I love it when I'm able to share some good news, the periodic victory.
In the news just this week is a story about a bullied special needs student in Baltimore. The parents of that boy can take heart in this story.
Jacob Gentry is and was a special needs student in Tennessee. He was so badly bullied, he lost an eye to the violence against him. What was worse, as in far too many cases, the teacher did nothing to intervene. The school administrators did nothing to make it better. Well, perhaps this will start making these administrators realize that zero tolerance means zero tolerance. Failing to intervene or failing to provide a safe place for these teenagers to go to get an education makes the school administrators just as culpable as the actual perpetrators. A judge in Tennessee ruled this week that the school district was, indeed, as culpable and awarded the boy over a quarter of a million dollars!!! That won't replace Jacob's vision. It'll only make a dent into the medical bills and lawyer fees. But, it sure does send a very clear message that enough really is enough. Zero tolerance means zero tolerance.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
URGENT CALL TO ACTION!!!
On November 29th, I posted a blog entry about 14-year-old Brittany who'd just attempted suicide and was in ICU. Brittany not only survived her attempt, she returned to school this past Monday. And, therein lies the problem.
The bullying returned with her return to school. More alarming is that the school administrators refuse to do anything to intervene or to end the situation. REFUSED!! Brittany snapped at her aggressor(s), and SHE got expelled!!! There's nothing right with this case. The aggressor(s) are getting away with nearly causing someone to kill herself. The Principal is guilty of neglect at the very least. Zero tolerance.
So, here's a call to action! Since the school in unable to assist Brittany, perhaps taking the story to the media will make them change their mind. Here are a few of the media outlets in Brittany's immediate area: the Huber Heights Courier; WKEF ABC22; WHIO-TV( http://www.whiotv.com); and, the online news link http://www.topix.com/city/huber-heights-oh
The bullying returned with her return to school. More alarming is that the school administrators refuse to do anything to intervene or to end the situation. REFUSED!! Brittany snapped at her aggressor(s), and SHE got expelled!!! There's nothing right with this case. The aggressor(s) are getting away with nearly causing someone to kill herself. The Principal is guilty of neglect at the very least. Zero tolerance.
So, here's a call to action! Since the school in unable to assist Brittany, perhaps taking the story to the media will make them change their mind. Here are a few of the media outlets in Brittany's immediate area: the Huber Heights Courier; WKEF ABC22; WHIO-TV( http://www.whiotv.com); and, the online news link http://www.topix.com/city/huber-heights-oh
LET YOUR VOICES BE HEARD!!! Let's make sure that Brittany and Crystal Tucker knows that they are not alone in this battle.
Never Quit
One of the tools necessary for combating this escalating epidemic of bullying and teen suicides is to report every incident. If your teen is being victimized by bullying, it is imperative that it's reported immediately. We've learned that, unfortunately, oft times reporting it to school officials is fruitless. With the increased and increasing awareness, however, that climate is bound to change. Regardless, if the immediate school official(s) fail to act, immediately and decisively, then it's important to go over their head and onto the next level of administrators. Repeat the process as many times as is necessary to get satisfactory results. If your own child isn't being victimized but you and/or your child knows of someone who IS, it's still just as important. Adopt a policy of "zero tolerance".
The statistics for gay teen bullying are staggering. It's reported that 9 out of 10 LGBT teens have been bullied because of their orientation. Nine out of ten! The report doesn't even give a statistic for how many of that 90% goes on to commit suicide. Any number over zero is too many.
But, what if the bullying is occurring at home? What if the child or teen is being victimized by their own family? What if the LGBT teen has the misfortune of being born into an intolerant, non-supportive, unaccepting family? There are ways to deal with that, as well. Identifying the situation can be hard, but it's doable. Knowing your teens' friends helps. Being supportive of an at-risk youth can go a very long way.
Remember what's at stake: saving young lives.
The statistics for gay teen bullying are staggering. It's reported that 9 out of 10 LGBT teens have been bullied because of their orientation. Nine out of ten! The report doesn't even give a statistic for how many of that 90% goes on to commit suicide. Any number over zero is too many.
But, what if the bullying is occurring at home? What if the child or teen is being victimized by their own family? What if the LGBT teen has the misfortune of being born into an intolerant, non-supportive, unaccepting family? There are ways to deal with that, as well. Identifying the situation can be hard, but it's doable. Knowing your teens' friends helps. Being supportive of an at-risk youth can go a very long way.
Remember what's at stake: saving young lives.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Knowledge Really is Power
Did you know that, according to the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH), roughly 8 out of every 100,000 teenagers committed suicide in 2000?(that was 11 years ago, for those keeping count. I'm sure that number has risen.) Did you know that for every ONE teen suicide, there were 10 other attempts!? Again, 2000 statistics. Did you know that 8 out of 10 teens who commit suicide try to ask for help, in their own way, before committing suicide?
In every one of my blog entries, I provide links. In some cases, they're links to articles about a bullycide or something else that's pertinent to whatever I'm writing about at the time. In most cases, however, the links will take the reader to some useful information. If you haven't been clicking the links, I highly recommend to every reader to click this one. There is a plethora of valuable information contained therein. And, knowledge really is power.
It is imperative that, in combating this epidemic, everyone has as much knowledge of the situation as humanly possible. I don't think there can be too much information as far as this is concerned. Do you? For instance, do you know what depression looks like if you have or are in contact with a teenager? You'll learn it here. The more we know, the better our chances are of diffusing volatile situations before they spin out of control. And, most importantly, the better chance we have of saving some lives. That's what it's all about.
In every one of my blog entries, I provide links. In some cases, they're links to articles about a bullycide or something else that's pertinent to whatever I'm writing about at the time. In most cases, however, the links will take the reader to some useful information. If you haven't been clicking the links, I highly recommend to every reader to click this one. There is a plethora of valuable information contained therein. And, knowledge really is power.
It is imperative that, in combating this epidemic, everyone has as much knowledge of the situation as humanly possible. I don't think there can be too much information as far as this is concerned. Do you? For instance, do you know what depression looks like if you have or are in contact with a teenager? You'll learn it here. The more we know, the better our chances are of diffusing volatile situations before they spin out of control. And, most importantly, the better chance we have of saving some lives. That's what it's all about.
What IS The Answer?
A short while ago, I posted yet another story about yet another young person who’d ended their life far too early. Hours before, I, along with several others, worked feverishly for an hour or so helping another young man who was at-risk and in a very bad place. Earlier in the day, someone sent me an article about yet another teen who’d ended HIS life too early. That’s a staggering rate of carnage. It leaves me to wonder just what IS the answer?
Is more laws and stiffer penalties for bullying really the answer? Well, that’s a mixed bag. On the one hand, yes, it certainly is at least part of the answer. See, kids today have a sense of carte blanche when it comes to trampling on the emotions of other, more vulnerable youth. We watch a video of a teenaged thug who waits for his victim at the classroom door and, when his target arrives, proceeds to pummel the poor boy, causing physical damage and unimaginable emotional and psychological harm. His punishment? A three-day suspension. A THREE-DAY SUSPENSION for savagely beating a boy because he is gay. That’s called first-degree assault. And, first-degree assault is punishable by years of incarceration. Yet, lawmakers across the country are hesitant to stiffen the laws to protect these young people from being attacked, be it verbally, emotionally, or physically. Worse, far too often, the school officials are reluctant to act at all. One of my favorite quotes came from a year ago and Asher Brown’s bullying and consequent suicide. His parents were told “if he didn’t act [gay], he wouldn’t be bullied.” Really? So, because he acted “like he was gay”, it was alright for him to be bullied? No charges were pressed against anyone in this case, which is a tragedy in itself. Certainly, stiffer laws and stronger penalties are needed to protect these young people from attacks. ”Boys will be boys” is no longer acceptable. What’s needed is a zero-tolerance policy for bullying or any acts of intolerance and hatred. But, that’s still not THE answer.
Are we seeing the results of a media feeding frenzy when it comes to teen-aged suicides? Quite possibly. I found it incredibly unnerving when two beautiful 10-year-old girls hanged themselves within two weeks of each other. It’s hard for me to wrap my brain around the thought of a 10-year-old being so distraught that she feels no other recourse but to end her life. When I was 10, I didn’t even know what suicide was, let alone have a concept of how to commit it. But, we won’t go there because then we’d have to discuss things like the Wright Brothers, the Model T, and black-and-white televisions. When I was 10, however, there was no such thing as 24-hour cable news channels (or, CABLE, for that matter), or the Internet. I didn’t have immediate access to what was going on RIGHT NOW in the world. I didn’t get to know that a boy in Arkansas shot himself or a girl in Spokane took an overdose of pills. Suicide, in fact, wasn’t even part of our vernacular. Today’s youth are inundated with very graphic details about what’s going on in the world, both good and bad. So, when a very young child hears or reads about another very young child, somewhere in a whole different part of the country or world, being so distraught from being bullied that she ended up taking their very young life, do you not think that that leaves an imprint on that young person’s psyche? Well, of course it does. The problem here is that there’s no way to stop the media machine. They make their living by reporting the news, and unfortunately sex and death, and everything related to both!, sells!!!!! Although the media machine can’t be controlled, the information received by these young people CAN. And, that my third point.
I very strongly believe that this war has to be won in the homes first and foremost. The bullies are, in many if not most cases, learning their behaviors at home. Some are most likely bullied or abused at home by one or both of their parents or older (or just bigger) siblings. Some learn their intolerance and hatred from listening to the rhetoric of their intolerant, possibly bigoted parents. That’s not to make an excuse for either group. Rather, it’s to underscore the reality that the frontline in this battle is definitely in the home. Similarly, the at-risk youth need to be re-educated to report any and all acts of bullying and discrimination to a trusted adult, preferably their parents, absolutely must be done. And, it must be done in the home. Teachers, and other school administrators, need to be more proactive, and interactive, as opposed to reactive, in the schools. Conversely, if they're not 100% reactive after an incident has occurred, if they are unwilling to hold the person or people accountable, then they, too, must be held accountable. Zero tolerance.
Another Bullycide: Rest in Peace Mason Carter - Age 13
It's coming to the point where everyday when you look at your computer screen, there's yet another story about a young teen ending his/her life because of bullying. Today is no different.
Mason Carter was 13 years old. Just 13. Life hadn't even begun to unfold for him. Now, it's over. According the Mason's step-father, he's positive that bullying played a huge factor in his stepson's suicide. Mason was an Honor Roll student and "a brilliant kid", according t0 his stepfather. Tuesday, he was found with a .45 caliber Glock nearby, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.
It's not enough to continue the dialogue about ending the epidemic of bullying and the teen suicides it often leads to. What's needed at this very moment in our history is iron-clad action. We need a plan. We need action. Talking about changing things is not working. Legislating it will do little, although tougher laws and definitive penalties are needed. It is my strong opinion that we need a total re-education, starting with the adults. What are we teaching our kids, directly or indirectly, when far too many of them feel that it's totally ok for them to treat other fellow human beings with such malice and disregard that the victim feel their only recourse, their only escape is to end their lives?
For those who haven't realized it yet, we're in crisis mode. The carnage is piling up by the day. The time to take action is now. Sadly, taking action now won't return Mason Carter to his family and friends.
May you rest in peace, Mason.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
MORE Jonah Madness!!!
At some point, you have to say "enough". ENOUGH!!! I've said this several times previously, and the events of last night simply proved my point. Ok, let's set the record straight once and for all: This isn't just about Jonah Mowry!
Jonah Mowry is a wonderful, courageous 14 year old boy. Four months ago, he bravely recorded a video exposing his pure fear and pain from being a gay teen, from having been bullied, and from having to face a new school year with only one of his closest friends. It was a heart wrenching video. And, the world -- THE WORLD!! -- responded! In overabundance. Far, far too many people made this issue all about Jonah rather than the real issue at hand. See, the true message of that first video was "yeah, I'm scared. Yeah, this hurts. But, I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna be alright." And, according to most of the responses I read, most people missed the fine print. Okay, so fine. Put Jonah's face on the cover if you must. Make Jonah the poster boy. But, never lose sight of the fact that there are literally millions of Jonahs out there RIGHT NOW who need that same support. This isn't just about Jonah Mowry.
From the frenzy created by the release of that first video earlier this month, no less that 130 "support" pages for Jonah popped up on facebook. One of them, "Jonah Mowry, we support you", was prominently featured on a national news broadcast!! Right there on the green screen, anyone who watched that broadcast or the subsequent repostings of it could clearly see where all the action was. Free publicity! The page reached a "membership" of over 36,000!!!! Better yet, more that 40,000 people were "talking about it", which carries a lot of weight on facebook. Young people were going there to express their kinship with Jonah. Perfect. That's what it was supposed to be about. Former bullies were going there to express their remorse for having put people like Jonah through that and vowing to never do it again. PERFECT!! That's what it was supposed to be about.
Last night, the creator of the page blew it up! Gutted it. Vanished. The reason? Well, I'll keep that under my own hat. No sense in fanning that flame. Not only was the page blown up, in its final moments he lashed out verbally at Jonah, posting things that I didn't get the chance to see. However, from what I understand, and according to some of the reactions that I did get the chance to read, it was really harsh. I'm not going to speculate. Again, no sense in fanning that flame.
The real tragedy of it is that the focus was lost. It's what I've been trying to get across. See, I know from first-hand experience that this issue of bullying, violence against gay teens, and gay teen suicide is nothing new at all and certainly was NEVER just about Jonah. Far too many people wanted to make this Jonah's struggle. It never was. Now, the hundreds, maybe thousands!, of young people - from both ends of the bully spectrum - have been alienated. In the end, the page became a mockery of Jonah, himself. In a culture that was already fragile at best, this is reprehensible. Daily, there were teens like Jonah who were posting how they could relate to him because, as one boy put it, "we are the same". Conversely, as one former bully put it "watching your video made me momentarily hate myself". Watching Jonah's video made him feel remorse for his actions. And, there were others expressing the same sentiment. They all found comfort there. And, with comfort comes healing. And, from the healing comes growth. That process was stunted last night.
"Jonah Mowry, we support you" is no more. That's sad. However, out of the ruins has emerged the support group Global Bully Awareness. And, this one isn't about Jonah or any one person in particular. Rather, it focuses on the issue at hand: bullying and it's effects. It has quickly grown to 392 "members". That's a little more that 1% of what was in the original community. Hopefully, it won't take too long to get those numbers back up. It's about reaching out. It's about providing a safe place for at-risk youth to come and comfortably voice their concerns and issues. It's about trying to save lives. Click the link. "Like" the page. Then, share it. There are lives in the balance.
Jonah Mowry is a wonderful, courageous 14 year old boy. Four months ago, he bravely recorded a video exposing his pure fear and pain from being a gay teen, from having been bullied, and from having to face a new school year with only one of his closest friends. It was a heart wrenching video. And, the world -- THE WORLD!! -- responded! In overabundance. Far, far too many people made this issue all about Jonah rather than the real issue at hand. See, the true message of that first video was "yeah, I'm scared. Yeah, this hurts. But, I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna be alright." And, according to most of the responses I read, most people missed the fine print. Okay, so fine. Put Jonah's face on the cover if you must. Make Jonah the poster boy. But, never lose sight of the fact that there are literally millions of Jonahs out there RIGHT NOW who need that same support. This isn't just about Jonah Mowry.
From the frenzy created by the release of that first video earlier this month, no less that 130 "support" pages for Jonah popped up on facebook. One of them, "Jonah Mowry, we support you", was prominently featured on a national news broadcast!! Right there on the green screen, anyone who watched that broadcast or the subsequent repostings of it could clearly see where all the action was. Free publicity! The page reached a "membership" of over 36,000!!!! Better yet, more that 40,000 people were "talking about it", which carries a lot of weight on facebook. Young people were going there to express their kinship with Jonah. Perfect. That's what it was supposed to be about. Former bullies were going there to express their remorse for having put people like Jonah through that and vowing to never do it again. PERFECT!! That's what it was supposed to be about.
Last night, the creator of the page blew it up! Gutted it. Vanished. The reason? Well, I'll keep that under my own hat. No sense in fanning that flame. Not only was the page blown up, in its final moments he lashed out verbally at Jonah, posting things that I didn't get the chance to see. However, from what I understand, and according to some of the reactions that I did get the chance to read, it was really harsh. I'm not going to speculate. Again, no sense in fanning that flame.
The real tragedy of it is that the focus was lost. It's what I've been trying to get across. See, I know from first-hand experience that this issue of bullying, violence against gay teens, and gay teen suicide is nothing new at all and certainly was NEVER just about Jonah. Far too many people wanted to make this Jonah's struggle. It never was. Now, the hundreds, maybe thousands!, of young people - from both ends of the bully spectrum - have been alienated. In the end, the page became a mockery of Jonah, himself. In a culture that was already fragile at best, this is reprehensible. Daily, there were teens like Jonah who were posting how they could relate to him because, as one boy put it, "we are the same". Conversely, as one former bully put it "watching your video made me momentarily hate myself". Watching Jonah's video made him feel remorse for his actions. And, there were others expressing the same sentiment. They all found comfort there. And, with comfort comes healing. And, from the healing comes growth. That process was stunted last night.
"Jonah Mowry, we support you" is no more. That's sad. However, out of the ruins has emerged the support group Global Bully Awareness. And, this one isn't about Jonah or any one person in particular. Rather, it focuses on the issue at hand: bullying and it's effects. It has quickly grown to 392 "members". That's a little more that 1% of what was in the original community. Hopefully, it won't take too long to get those numbers back up. It's about reaching out. It's about providing a safe place for at-risk youth to come and comfortably voice their concerns and issues. It's about trying to save lives. Click the link. "Like" the page. Then, share it. There are lives in the balance.
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