Why It Matters to Me

Twelve years old.  I'm on vacation in a little rural city named Portsmouth, VA.  My aunt, with whom I was spending the summer, prearranged with her friend and neighbor to have her friend's nephew also visit from out-of-state at the same time.  Built-in companions.  Little did my aunt know that I would become very attracted to this boy.  Sure, we certainly did hang out together nearly every minute of every day!  I was mesmerized by him.

One summer afternoon, we were over his [aunt's] house shooting pool in the basement.  This was the most exciting time of the entire vacation for me!!  My heartthrob and I were alone together at last!!  Who cared who would win the match!?  I just wanted to be alone with him.  Eventually, I got close enough to sneak a kiss on the cheek!  I was in Heaven.  He was furious!  Needless to say, that slammed the brakes on our friendship.  Stopped on a dime.

I went on with my summer vacation sans my former heartthrob.  I'm resilient like that.  We never uttered another single word to one another, as badly as I wanted to.  He met all new friends.  They weren't the kind of kids I would hang around.  Riding my bike merrily down a neighborhood street on blazing summer afternoon, I spot my former friend at the other end of the street riding his bike towards me.  And, he was with his new friends....the ones I would never hang around.  My gut instinct told me that this wasn't going to be a friendly encounter.  I had no idea how right that instinct was.

As we met in the middle of the block, one of the boys knocked me off of my bike.  It was downhill from there.  Quickly, I was surrounded by the pack as they proceeded to beat the holy shit out of me!!!  At one point, the biggest of the boys had my head locked between his knees, using his knees as a vice grip!, as he delivered blow after blow after bloody blow to my face.  Eventually, I was rescued, and the gay bashing was over.

Nothing about me was ever the same after that summer.  Whereas it didn't lead me to suicide (told you I was resilient!), it forever changed everything about how I view life.  There are emotional scars left even today. (to wit, my eyes teared as I wrote this recount)

It matters to me because I've been there.  It matters to me because it's either costing lives or leaving a lifetime of emotional destruction in its wake.  It matters to me because THIS kind of brutal, animalistic behavior MUST end!!

Taking Steps to Prevent Bullying

Bullying has been identified as one of the major contributors to gay teen and teen (in general) suicide.  Certainly, the latest rash of teen and gay teen suicides have named bullying as such.  So, maybe the issue is to catch the situation before it becomes an irreversible issue.  Do YOU know what to look for?  Would you know how to identify if your son or daughter is being bullied?  My next several entries will be providing very valuable information on how to recognize the signs before it's too late.The Bullying Report is a 44-page free downloadable book full of good information.  Get yours now!!

A Day of Rest (Updated)

Today, and everyday, give thanks for what you have in your life...especially your loved ones.

I'm actually doing something today that I very seldom get the chance to do:  nothing at all.  It's my day of rest.  In just about an hour or so, I will be well-rested with a big, full belly.

I wish that the dilemma of teen suicide, gay teen suicide, and suicide in general could take the day off, as well.  Unfortunately, that's not the case.  In fact, suicides tend to increase during the Holiday Season, which is now upon us.  Unfortunately, depression, the feeling of isolation, and all of the other native causes of suicide doesn't take the day off.  As we gather with our families and friends to celebrate Thanksgiving, let's also remember the families and friends of those who have left this world through their own actions.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, everyone!!

UPDATE:


It was quickly brought to my attention that suicides actually DON'T increase during the holidays, that it's just a long held myth.  I stand corrected.  In fact, suicides tend to lower in December.  Sorry for the misinformation.  I, too, fell for the myth.  Thank you, Barb, for the correction.

Happy Birthday, Jamie Hubley

You know, 40 short days ago, I had no idea in the world who Jamie Hubley was.  In the days since then, however, his name, his voice, and even his spectacularly handsome image is known to people all around the globe.  On October 14th, Jamie ended his young life.  Being 15 years old and openly gay had its price as Jamie was yet another victim of homophobic bullying.  Being 15 years old, openly gay, enduring bullying, and having clinical depression on top of that proved to be too much weight to carry.  In his short time here, Jamie was already making a major impact on people's lives.  According to his father, in a recorded interview, Jamie just loved people and wanted to make a difference.  According to Jamie, in his now-defunct tumblr blog, "I just want to feel special to someone".  Today, the things he wished for and wanted are coming to fruition:  he is making a difference in people's lives around the globe; he is very special in the hearts of thousands and, perhaps, over a million people from that same geographic location.  To be sure, as of this day, I can still say I never "knew" him.  I can say, however that he has had a profound impact on my life.  See, Jamie Hubley is why you're reading this.  Jamie Hubley gave me my voice.  As a singer/songwriter by profession, and as a gay man by nature, I'd ALWAYS taken the issue of gay teen suicide very seriously.  I'd been trying to bring awareness to the issue for a couple decades.  I'd written about it in a few of my songs.  It wasn't enough.  I needed to get more deeply involved in helping to bring about change.  This very blog is in Jamie's honor.

Today, November 23rd, 2011 is Jamie's sweet 16th birthday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, JAMIE!!!  You are loved by many.

VICTORY!!!

Those of you who have been following my blog will remember a post about the bill in Michigan that was trying to get passed.  In the bill, however, was an exemption for people who acted out of “sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction.”  Hard to believe, I know.  In response, there was a petition sent around to get that exemption removed from bill.  And, people from all around the country were signing it.  GREAT NEWS!!!!  Your efforts worked!!!!  No hiding behind religion to commit your acts of hate and intolerance.  Thanks for your signatures!!!

Teen Admits Killing Gay Classmate

Ok, so a teenaged straight kid gets hit on by a teenaged gay kid.  It's pretty safe to say that it happens everywhere, everyday.  The straight kid doesn't like being hit on by the gay kid.  More often than not, that happens everywhere, everyday as well.  The straight kid goes to school and EXECUTES the gay kid for the "unwanted advances". (a bullet to the back of the head and one while the gay kid lay on the floor constitutes an execution in my book)  Two days later, Larry King died of his injuries inflicted by Brandon McInerney.  I think it's hardly fair that Brandon's family will get him back in their lives in roughly 20 more years.  Larry's family will never have that joy again.  At least this bring a sense of closure to one of the more horrific cases in recent memory.

Ever Wonder What Makes Bullies Bully?

We've reached the point, finally, where we all, for the most part, agree that there's a serious problem in our society today with bullying, especially (though, not exclusively!) with our young people.  Great!  Now comes the real work.  How do you detect a bully when you see one?  How do you know if your own child is a bully?  You certainly can't be with them 24/7 and almost certainly have no idea of every single thing they do at school or in public when you're not around.  Well, good news!  There are characteristic that you can look for to help you detect and correct it.  Some of the incidences of bullying that we're seeing today are nothing short of appalling.  Lives are being lost because of it.  Acknowledging, finally, that there is a serious problem is a great first step.  Now, let's educate ourselves so we can start reversing the trend.