Who IS NOM!!??

It's no coincidence that the nasty rhetoric and tactics are heating up as we get closer to Election Day in this country.  It's by design.  "Divide and conquer" is a strategy that works.  It's almost as effective as "Unite and Win".  After all, it is proven time and again that the "Power in Numbers" theory is very powerful, indeed.

Back to this "Values Bus Tour".  It's very much worth noting that one of the driving forces behind this enlightening tour is NOM, National Organization for Marriage.  Weren't they the driving force behind the attack on Ellen DeGeneres a little while back?  As with all of these far-right-wing extremist groups, they are very narrow-minded, un-Godly-like mean-spirited, and bulldog-stubborn in their determination to bully the rest of the country and, to be sure, world into adhering to their beliefs.  Or else!

To wit, this was brought to my attention today and, trust me on this, it's a must-read for every single reader of this blog post.  These diabolical "Christians" have a road map already laid out as to how to achieve their goal of, basically, sweeping every LGBT person deep into the closet.  And, then, locking that closet door so that we never escape again.  It's THAT serious. 

Here's one excerpt from their confidential manifesto:

“The strategic goal of this project is to drive a wedge between gays and blacks—two key Democratic constituencies. Find, equip, energize and connect African American spokespeople for marriage, develop a media campaign around their objections to gay marriage as a civil right; provoke the gay marriage base into responding by denouncing these spokesmen and women as bigots…”

Well, that's happening now.  I've encountered, several times already, arguments from the Black community opposing my views that this is The New Civil Rights Movement, with them wanting to distance the black community from this fight.  However, as an older black man, myself, I assured them from my own personal experiences that this is, indeed, exactly the same battle that was fought back in the 60s and against the same establishment.  Their argument is moot.

Ever ask yourself why it's so important to them that same-sex marriage doesn't exist?  What exactly is the "sanctity of marriage"?  Is it the reality that heterosexual marriages have a divorce rate of over 50%?  Is that sanctimonious?  Is it one of our Republican presidential candidates openly admitting that he believes in "open" marriages and expecting his bedridden wife to be accepting of him going elsewhere for sex while she's unable to provide it for him?  Is that sanctimonious?  Or, is it Kim Kardasian's farce of a 72-hour "marriage".  THAT'S sanctimonious, for sure!!  Why, exactly, is it so important for them that they're willing to sink hundreds of thousands of dollars into a movement to eradicate same-sex marriages? More importantly, how is it that our political leaders are involved with such a movement!?  Whatever happened to "...with liberty and justice for ALL"?  I think that the comment posted to the facebook blog page yesterday was so on-point, it bears printing here again:

...look at your country's history. "Enough of thinkin' everything that you've done is good", just saying (in Rufus Wainwright's words). Here in Germany, a politician who makes homophobic remarks would have to step down the next day. We have a gay Foreign Minister and Berlin has a gay mayor. In the US, homophobes can become governors and run for president.

To understand the true impact of this level of hatred and intolerance, one only has to realize that these teens who do the bullying, especially against their LGBT peers, real or perceived, are learning from adults like these that it's not only ok, it's expected.  Then, when you look at the level of LGBT teen suicides that are caused from the bullying, it should be easy to understand that we have a very real, deadly serious problem on our hands.  The way to address it, the way to win this hard-fought battle, is to continue to increase our numbers of people who are ready and willing to stand up, make their voices heard, and make sure these evil-minded people understand that their hatred and intolerance is not acceptable.  Period.

The Values Tour

Ok, this is going to seem as if I'm stepping from under the bullying/teen suicide umbrella.  However, in the grand scheme of things, it's really not.  It's actually bullying on a much grander scale, and it's sanctioned.  And, it's because of people like this that the LGBT teen suicide issue is on the front burner.

Pop quiz:  Who is Art Pope?

Art Pope is one of the most influential political money men in North Carolina and a close national ally of the billionaire Koch brothers.

Art Pope is a North Carolinian with lots of money.  And, he uses that money to fund Republican anti-gay groups around the country, including the two groups who are doing the grunt work for the North Carolina swing of this tour.  I do everything in my power to keep from getting political with this blog.  However, sometimes it's impossible to avoid.  First, let me say that I live with a Republican, devoutly Christian woman whom I've known since high school, and she is absolutely nothing like the mean-spirited, hate-filled, narrow-minded Republican "leaders" we have running for our country's top office today or their followers.  So, this is certainly not a condemnation or attack on all Republicans and/or Christians.  That said, this entire lot of "contenders" is a very dangerous group of people.  And, anyone who disagrees need look no further than this video.  I've said it here before that if any of these candidates were to happen into the White House, they would plunge our country back to the 1950s.  This trailer will give you a better idea of what I'm talking about.

One candidate has boldly stated during his campaign that if he wins the presidency, he will make all existing same-sex marriages illegal.  Maybe it's just me, but I think there are many, many more important things for a candidate to be obsessed with besides who loves whom.  Imposing ones biased views on the nation is not part of the job description of President of the United States.  I'll stop there.  This topic gets me really heated!

There was a comment left on the facebook blog page today that, I thought, was quite telling:

...look at your country's history. "Enough of thinkin' everything that you've done is good", just saying (in Rufus Wainwright's words). Here in Germany a politician who makes homophobic remarks would have to step down the next day. We have a gay Foreign Minister and Berlin has a gay mayor. In the US homophobes can become governors and run for president.

Wait.  I thought we were supposed to be the "world leaders"!!!  Enough said.

Back to Art Pope.  Mr. Pope is funding what's called the "Values Bus Tour".  It's an anti-gay marriage campaign, really an anti-gay campaign, that started in October and is slated to go nationwide.  Ok, for those of you chomping at the bit to scream First Amendment right at me, save it.  I'm well aware of that.  I'm not going to suggest that he needs to be stopped.  His views are dead-wrong; however, He's entitled, under our Constitution, to his views.  And, whether I agree with them or not, he's also entitled, under our Constitution, to voice his opinion.  I get that.  However, under that same Constitution, I get to voice my opinion:

 These are extremely dangerous people.  In fact, they are extremists.  To be sure, one of the Republican presidential candidates is PART of this "Values Bus Tour".  AND, HE WANTS TO LEAD OUR COUNTRY!!!  It is my opinion that it's totally okay to have your differences.  However, for a person, or a group of people, to not only believe that their opinion is THE ONLY opinion that matters but try to shove THEIR opinions down a whole nation's throat is beyond reprehensible.  To spew hatred in the name of God will get you a ticket to Hell much faster than my being gay will get me there.  And, to that end, in accordance to the Bible that these maniacs love to wave in everyone's faces, only God can judge me.  Therefore, if by chance you're right that I'll go to Hell for being gay (and, you're NOT!), it's NOT your place to condemn me there.  That is between me and God.  Worry about your own eternity.  I'll stop there.

One of their members had this to say about LGBT teen suicide:

...gay teens kill themselves because they know that they're "abnormal".

Worse, he does "fundraising around the idea that gay kids are immoral and telling them otherwise is 'disgusting'."  Oh, and did I mention that they take their message of hate to Christian high schools?  What feeds the bullying that we're seeing in schools against LGBT, or even suspected LGBT teens?  Hatred and intolerance.  And, where are they learning that from?  Keep in mind that one of the members of this group of extremists is running for the Presidency of the United States!

My whole issue, and I point I've raised before, is that we need to a.) keep increasing in numbers...and conviction; and, b.) speak up and be heard.  Every single voice is important.  If you look at the comments on the blog about the "Values Bus Tour", it becomes obvious that there really ARE people in this country who agree with this type of backwards, narrow-minded thinking.  For the record, though, there were real people, back in the 60s, who vehemently opposed the Civil Rights movement, then, as well.  However, the people who opposed the oppression continued, undaunted by the oppressors.  It was a hard-fought battle.  Lives were lost.  But, in the end, it was worth it.  Well, the struggle continues.  The battle line is drawn.  To win this fight, and I wholeheartedly believe we will, we need voices, voices, and more voices.  We need people who are not afraid to stand up for what is right. 

Lastly, if there's any question as to how all of this connects to LGBT teen suicides, I'll simply say two words: Anoka-Hennepin.

The Opposite of Love is Fear

When I wrote about Sophie Miriam Herold's hateful rantings yesterday, "Spreading Hate", the last thing I said was for everyone to send her an email "...to cheer her up."  You may remember that Sophie was the one who said that "homosexuality is abnormal and disgusting."  Well, how many of you sent her an email?  Were you kind and loving in your message?  Or, did "lay into her" in response to her amazing level of...whatever you want to call that rant?  Well, here's what I've learned about Sophie:

• First of all, this isn't something new she's started doing.  One comment to another anti-gay rant of hers is from a year ago.  Therefore, it's safe to assume that she's been doing this for at least that long.
• In reading what she posted, that received the response a year ago, I was reminded of an old truism I heard decades ago:  The opposite of love is fear.  This will come as a surprise to some people, but Sophie's "anger" is a manifestation of fear.  She's afraid of her own feelings.  See, Sophie denies herself her true feelings that she has for someone of the same sex.  Or, as we like to call it, lesbian.  

 Why do I think that Sophie is a lesbian?  She can say it better than I can, in her own words:

I know what I'm talking about, I have had feelings for the same sex a while ago. These feelings were different to anything I've ever felt before. When this person was around me, I felt safe, relaxed, comfortable.

I'm not sure if you know that feeling, it's…you're totally calm, you don't feel the need to prove yourself to the other person, you always find something to talk about and, most importantly, there is a sort of 'basic agreement' between
the two of you what means that you don't need many words to communicate with the other person, and when there is silence between the two of you, it's not an awkward silence, it's a feeling of being understood.

I could have done what you did: just go for my feelings for the same sex. But I didn't. I cut off contact to this person completely, I even moved to another city and denied all attempts of contacting me.
I mean it was hard, in fact I'm still thinking about this person, almost every day since six months, but I bear with it. You just have to do something in order to distract yourself, you know? Then it works. Not every day, but most the days.

This is an excerpt from one of her "anonymous" emails she sent to someone, apparently a year or so ago.  Reading the whole thing is very revealing, indeed.

What this says, in my opinion, in an attempt to suppress her own lesbianism and, worse, play her "gender role".  At 21, she's accepted that she has to "do what society expects..or suffer the consequences."  To me, that's sad.   Somewhere along the way, someone has beaten her self-esteem down so badly to a point where she doesn't feel she deserves to be happy, that she's put on this planet for one purpose, and one purpose only:  to perform her gender role as expected of her from society.  Personal happiness be damned.  Clearly, she'd found love, possibly even the love of her life.  And, to paraphrase her words, "all was right in the world."  However, she denied herself that happiness.  Her "gender role" is more important.  Now, rather than being happy with herself and with the girl her heart chose for her, she lives in fear.  She's fearful that she'll never find that true connection again.  Sure, she'll find some guy to perform her gender role for, and she might even force herself into believing that she loves him.  The truth will always be the truth, though.  And, the truth, her truth!, is that she's denying herself of the love every human soul craves.  She found it.  But, she moved away from it.  

Now, that fear has turned into anger.  Anger at herself for not being true to herself; anger at a society that imposes its beliefs on individual, personal lives; anger at the LGBT community for doing what she's, so far, been incapable of:  loving ourselves and embracing the real love we deserve.  And, that fear has now manifested itself as hatred.  Make no mistake, that's self-hatred we're reading.  Self-hatred that was born of fear.  Sophie writes:

What if all the people in this world just go for their feelings, for what makes them happy? The world would turn into chaos! You have no right to 'simplify' your life by being gay.

What if?

Spreading Hate

I was working on a different story that's pretty important, itself.  Then, this story was presented to me.  Couldn't wait.

To understand the importance of why so many people are working so hard to change the cultural landscape of this country, and around the world!, when it comes to the LGBT community, one needs to look no further than this.  There is a 21-year-old undergrad student from Germany named Sophie Miriam Herold.  Remember that name.  She is not your friend!


Sophie's mission in life is not only to "out" every LGBT person she can.  She'd rather see us eliminated.  Reading her menacing ramblings on her tumblr account was nauseating at best.

I am not hiding. I’m not afraid of you gay people. I will fight you as long as I can.
I know that by putting me out there I will be harassed and threatened. That is the price I have to pay for telling the truth about gay people. But I am not afraid of being physically harmed or killed. You may break my bones, but you can’t change the facts: that homosexuality is abnormal and disgusting.You are what you are and have to deal with it, like everybody else. Stop trying to pretend to be “better” than others because you consider yourself “transsexual”. You have to play your gender role, you have to do what society expects from you. If you don’t, you have to suffer from the consequences.

"Better"?  I don't remember that ever being part of the dialogue, but you're welcome to correct me if I'm wrong.  No.  Rather than presenting ourselves as "better", we've simply, repeatedly and persistently, stated that we only want to be seen and treated as equal.  And, there's a very good reason for that:  we are, in fact, equal. 

Anyway, the sheer ignorance of her rantings goes on and on ad nauseum.  Rather than spend time repeating what she said, I think everyone needs to read it for themselves.

She's just terribly ignorant in her views, especially as an undergrad student, and it's a black-eye to her generation that someone as young as she would have such warped views.  Yet, there it is...right there in black and white for the world to read.

The bigger issue is that this bring to light the reality that there are a whole slew of "Sophies" in the world who have nothing better to do with their own life than to try their hardest to make other people miserable.  That's a problem.  That's the hurdle we must clear as we work towards acceptance and equality.  To an even greater extent, there are people who are far more influential than a 21-year-old hate monger who uses tumblr as her main forum to be concerned about.  We have a Presidential candidate promising to eliminate LGBT happiness, if elected, by reversing all same-sex marriages in this country.  We have lawmakers in several states working still to pass legislation that will essentially sanction the bullying of LGBT teens.  You get the picture, though.  They're out there.  They're filled with hate.  And, they're out there in great numbers.

It goes without saying that hatred and intolerance were in play in the murder of young Trayvon Martin in Florida.

What's most important in our ongoing struggle for equality and acceptance is that we continue increasing in numbers of people who are willing and able to let their voices be heard.  Our voices need to be strong and confident.  Our message needs to be clear and consistent.  But, the one thing that we cannot waver on is continuing to show and spread love.  In the end, love will conquer hate.  It's the very reason I constantly spread messages of love on the facebook blog page.

Sophie is consumed with hatred.  And, she's not alone.

Now, let's send her an email to cheer her up.  Hey, she wants us to!!!  She put her email address right there in the madness she posted, in black-and-white.

Satire Mirrors Reality

I got caught up in the moment.  Guilty as charged.  Yesterday, someone posted a link to the facebook blog page that caused a whole lot of controversy.  It was titled Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong.  Ok, I took the bait.  I read a little of it and became irate at what I was reading.  But, I shied away from writing about it because it didn't pertain to either teen suicide or bullying.  Then, I read the line that broke to camel's back.  THEN, I wrote about it.  And, then I found out that the whole thing was a satire.  A spoof.  And, upon closer examination, and with a much calmer mind, I was able to see the satirical angle to it. (I'm just happy that only 10 people read the blog post before I pulled it down!!) 

The question that begs to be answered, though, is what exactly was it about that piece of satire that triggered such ire and from so many people, including myself?  Well, the answer is easy.  The piece echoed the diabolical diatribe that we've been hearing for far too long from the very people the satire was directed against:  the "fundamentalist Christians".  And, it goes deeper than that.  It showed just how fed up we are, as a collective whole, of hearing their unbridled ignorance.  For me, personally, when I read the line "A normal child should be harassing and teasing gay kids and calling them "faggots", not trying to be friends with them or enable their lifestyle", my anger shifted into overdrive.  And, for good reason.  That mentality really IS pervasive amongst those who give true believers of God a bad name.

We must not lose sight of the fact that there really ARE so-called Christians who really do espouse that very same mentality.  There are politicians trying to pass laws that would sanction the bullying of LGBT teens.  And, as we saw in Anoka-Hennepin, the combination of religious and political "leaders" who share the same narrow-minded, hate-filled intolerance towards the LGBT community has a devastating effect on LGBT teens.   

In hindsight, that piece of satire was actually brilliantly done.  It was almost TOO well done, actually.  Obviously, it struck a nerve.  It mirrored the reality that we face today in a society that still, in 2012, has people filled with hatred and intolerance.  Not only are they filled with hatred and intolerance, they are more than willing to spread their ignorance as "truth" in accordance to God.  When satire mirrors reality that closely, sparks fly.

Ignoring It Doesn't Make it Go Away

I read story after story, comment after comment about how some teen was bullied, they report the incident to the proper authorities, only to have it treated as it's a non-issue.  Too many suicides have resulted from this. 

In one high-profile case recently, a spokesman from the local Sheriff's department went on record as saying that despite media and online reports of the teen's suicide being a result of bullying, their "investigation" concluded that "that was not the case".  Yet, my own personal contact with someone very close to the family and the situation told me exactly the opposite.  And, of course, it was later made know that bullying was, indeed, at the root of the suicide.  This wasn't the first instance.  In the trailer for the controversial, and very necessary, movie, "Bully", a teacher foolishly goes on camera to say that she'd "ridden on that bus" where a young boy was allegedly bullied and the kids "...were as good as gold".  Ultimately, this boy committed suicide because of the bullying.

Sometimes, in some cases of bullying against LGBT teens, the victim is blamed for the bullying!!  In the case of one high-profile LGBT teen suicide from a couple years ago, the parents were told that if their son didn't act [gay], he wouldn't get bullied.  How is THAT acceptable?  That's not "not taking bullying seriously", that's turning a blind eye to what's going on.  Worse, that's essentially sanctioning the violence because this boy was simple being himself.  The sad end result was him taking matters into his own hands and ending his life.  

On my facebook blog page, read comment after comment from real-life people who were bullied, went to the authorities, and nothing was done about it. 

I was bullied in school for being "different","odd", and my school did nothing about it. Often, they ignored it cuz the kids who did bully me were kids of pta and parents who supported and gave alot of money to the school. My dad fought hard to get me help because other stuff was going on due to bullying, like my academics. I was not sent to a private charter school till I was a junior in high school, and that was due to case workers and an advocate, because i tried to commit suicide more then 3 times in less then 2 yrs. While being at that special school, they (the school) found out I have autism. Had the school I attended prior would have taken the time to listen to my father, I would of been put in the right classrooms and would have gotten the help I needed from day 1. Even when I was in 9th and 10th grade, people where horrible to me. I wonder, now that we are adults, how they would feel if they found out they bullied a girl with disabilities to the point of trying suicide.  I wonder how they would feel, especially if they had kids...bullying needs to stop on all levels.  I just wanted to share my story.

 That's one of the comments left recently on my facebook blog page.  This is but one example.  Unfortunately, there are more.

Problem with schools, I'm a senior in high school, and in all my years in middle school (6-8) I was bullied and fighting back each year leading me to get kicked off to a new school each year....kinda sucks how "they who purposely care" really don't.....well until until you're pushed too far.

"Until you're pushed too far" is 10 steps too late.  Bullying needs to be taken seriously, on all levels:  not only against LGBT teens, but against anyone who's perceived different, anyone who doesn't "fit in".  School officials, elected officials, adults in general!, all need to be re-educated.  And, part of that re-education process needs to be making them acutely aware that ignoring the bullying issue doesn't make it away.

Passing The Torch

In any war, the battle is essentially being fought for the generations to follow:  for our children.  And, their children.  Warriors lay their lives on the line so that their kids, their kids kids, can have a better, safer, happier life.  The "warriors" of Stonewall fought for their "kids", the generation of young LGBT kids coming behind them.  And, behind them.  I'm so glad they did.  See, I'm part of the generation they were fighting for.

I remember Stonewall being in the news.  I was 12.  I knew, instinctively, that what was going on in the newspaper (life before the Internet was vastly different!) was good.  By that time in my life, I was fully aware that I was a gay teen and had already had my first boyfriend.  Seeing them lay their lives on the line against an establishment that hated them touched me in an indescribable place.  I knew.

The war we're fighting today is for the liberty, justice, and equality for our LGBT youth of today.  We're fighting for their freedom to live happily without a government or religious body that sanctions their being attacked, both emotionally and physically.  We're fighting for their freedom to marry the one they love, just as their straight counterparts will do.  We're fighting for equality, for ourselves as well as for them.

And, we're passing the torch.

Because of the Internet, there's a "right-now-ness" that we didn't have in generations gone by.  We can, and do, connect with people all around this massive globe at the click of the "send" button.  And, as a result, there's a movement going on right now that is going to change the world as we know it.  A paradigm shift.  Yes, we the children of Stonewall are paving the way.  However, the torch is also being passed to some very strong, very dedicated young leaders.  And, they need to be recognized for the work they're doing:

• Christi O'Connor contacted me about a month ago about the Monster March Against Bullying.  The goal is for at least 10,000 LGBT teens to march to the step of San Francisco's City Hall in an effort to compel their leaders that "It HAS TO Get Better".  The Rodemeyers will be there.  Jonah Mowry and his family will be there.  That's powerful stuff.  And, all of this was organized by TEENS!!  On her wall, Christi posted this: 

"Hi Everyone.The good news is we have more wonderful content, new partners and teens' videos we hadn't anticipated this week. The down news is it has delayed our launch of our www.themonstermarch.com site until MONDAY. We'll remind everyone to go to it Monday. So sorry for the delay. Big announcements coming on the site!" 

The official website goes up on Monday.  Looking forward to checking that out.  Looking forward even more to October and their Monster March!!

• While not at teen, at 23, Mark Blane is still young enough to be considered part of the youth movement.  This very talented director/playwright/activist is putting his best effort into making a difference.  On June 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, the play, which Mark wrote and directed, "The Rock and The Ripe" will go into production in Chicago.  The play is about "the bullied and bruised Gay Youth of America".  There's also a book by the same title.  But, most importantly, Mark has a fundraiser page in place in an attempt to take this provocative and important play national.  This very compelling video makes you understand what's at stake.

• And, then there's 18-year-old Brett Simpson.  I had seen this video response floating around for a while but, quite frankly, didn't watch it because I'd grown weary of the "flash-card messages".  Eventually, of course, I gave in and watched it. (it kept popping up here and there, so I figured there had to be something to it.  I was right.)  Watching that video changed my life.  Here was this handsome 18-year-old who, himself, had been badly bullied!, reaching out to other teens who were in crisis!  He opened his life to the world of LGBT teens, giving almost all of his personal information, and told them "I'm always here for you".  That, alone, made my eyes water.  Refusing to be "the victim", Brett instead stood strong and reached out.  And, the teens have been responding!!!  As an example, this message was just posted to his wall:  Zachary Smith: "Brett, this is amazing. I know you can do great things for the future of this country. It would be wonderful to meet you someday. Also, make sure you save this somewhere, because coming from someone who wrote something similar about a long battle with learning disabilities, personal written pieces such as this one are very appealing to higher learning institutions, if that's what you plan on doing in the future."  He has quite a following in his facebook community, Click "Like" if You Support the LGBT Questioning Community.  I've been so impressed with the work Brett's doing, I made him an administrator on my facebook blog page.  And, he's done great there, as well.

• As a testimony to the impact Brett is having on the young, up-and-coming LGBT teens, this video was made by a 14-year-old LGBT youth named John.  The video is stunning, to say the least.  And, to think that a 14-year-old produced it just warms the heart.  The message is clear and, coming from someone who is in the age group most affected by the bullying against LGBT teens in this country, and around the world!, it's extremely powerful.  If the readers of this blog post click no other link herein, do check out this video.

Obviously, there are more teens around who are doing some great things, like Daria, Amber, and Alexis in Indiana who have their own anti-bullying page.  And, they're only in middle school!!!  I could probably dedicate an entire week, at least!, recognizing the efforts being undertaken by our youth, gay and straight alike, as they take matters into their own hands in attempt to make their world a better place.  This is just a few of them.

The world truly is changing, right before our eyes.  And, it's changing for the better.  Most importantly, the youth-led movement is really getting traction and making a difference.  It makes us older warriors feel good to know that the torch is being passed to such capable hands.