Drew Ferraro, 15, Dead of Bullycide

My band played "The Struggle" tonight with the usual zest.  I made it through the whole song without breaking down at some point, which happens especially when we perform it after a recent teen suicide.  It had been relatively calm for the past week or so.  I said to one of my best friends, biggest fans, and occasional reader of the blog that it has been quite for a week or so, and that had me cautiously concerned.  Then, I return home from another triumphant show only to get the news.

Friday, February 11th, 15-yer-old Drew Ferraro succumbed to bullycide.  According to one of Drew's friends, "he was a funny, clever kid who played football and loved heavy metal music and gigs".  Said another friend, "he was definitely bullied and he didn't want to go to school".

The sad irony is that his suicide came mere hours before the release of the very powerful song and video, "It Does Get Better", done by some of the best lesbian talent that the U.K. has to offer.  Seeing that video, hearing that song, albeit not heavy metal, could've very well saved Drew's life.  We'll never know.

It's imperative that everyone has resources readily available in the event that you're faced, eye-to-eye, with a potentially dangerous situation.  Intervention works wonders, and it saves lives.

Wipeout Homophobia on facebook has a wonderful Suicide Support page

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Knowing the signs of depression early on can be a very useful tool.

To the traumatized schoolmates and friends of Drew's who witnessed this event, please seek help.  Sorting through this will be extremely difficult on your own.  To the family of this young man, we wish you our heartfelt condolences.  May you rest in Paradise, Drew Ferraro.

THERE IS POWER IN NUMBERS!!!!

The main objective for my writing this blog everyday is to make a difference.  I found it difficult to sit on the sidelines and watch the horrors of the bullying, the teen suicides, the hatred and intolerance, and everything else that came along with it.  Since its creation, I've learned that the scope of the problem is much greater than I ever would've imagined from the sidelines.

Last week, for example, I learned about the teacher in Oklahoma who let her own bias get in the way of doing her job, which is to educate young minds.  Not liking what I was reading, I got involved.  In turn, we ALL got involved.  Now, the fruits of our labor is evident.

This letter from Khrystal's mother, the high school student from Oklahoma who's teacher allowed her bias to get in the way of a student's education, just came in to the Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook page:

This is Khrystal's mom with another update on the school report situation. Principle Davis called me this afternoon and said that Mrs. Applegate would like to meet with me after the school day was over. I agreed. Khrystal went to the meeting with me, this was about her after all.

Mrs Applegate said that Mrs Ford (superintendent), Mr Davis (principal) and herself had met multiple times to figure out ways to keep this situation from happening again. She admitted it was too late to go back and change how things were handled this year. She talked about not grading Khrystal's note cards this past Friday, which put her on the failing list, and how bad she felt about it. She said Khrystal didn't do anything wrong. She was just afraid of grading a paper where her bias could get in the way. I did not ask her position one way or the other. All we wanted was for a fairly graded report.

[Mrs. Applegate] said that beginning next year there would be safeguards in place to protect the students from situations like this. She then proceeded to tell Khrystal she was more than welcome to complete her desired report and it would be graded with the utmost fairness. Mrs Applegate said Khrystal would also be given extra time to complete the report to make up for the time lost. Mrs Applegate is even allowing Khrystal to use her aunt as one of her 7 references as she just completed a college report on gay marriage. We are extremely excited over that. So, Khrystal won the battle! But the good news does not stop there!

This was not just a win for Khrystal but also for every student in Mrs. Applegate's class. Mrs. Applegate took it further (without suggestion from us) and said she would allow every other student the opportunity to change their topic to whatever they wanted and receive fair grades for merit not topic. She also said that anyone who changed their topic would also be given the extra time to complete their report. This is such a huge win for the students!

Shortly after leaving the meeting, I ran into one of Khrystals peers who said that a number of students were told they had to change topics (including himself) and that Khrystal was the only one to stand her ground. He was thrilled that someone stood up for what was right and wished more people had that courage. He is excited to complete his original topic. So, not only did Khrystal win the battle, with all of your support, she won the war for everyone!

Our family has been extremely blessed to have had the support from each of you. Your calls and emails to the school administration, your suggestions, your prayers, your ultimate support made this happen.

We need to give special thanks to Aunt Megan Stewart, Uncle Rob Tirawat and Honorary Uncle Alex Tooke for stepping up and getting the ball rolling when I did not know where to start. Without these three people, this issue would not have gained the momentum necessary for Khrystal's cause to succeed.

Our deepest gratitude goes to everyone world wide who supported Khrystal. Our love and prayers go out to each of you!!!

Naturally, my first reaction was elation!!!  Elated that Khrystal was able to explore her own mind and write creatively about what she chose to write about.  Elated because all of the support, from so many of you, made such a positive impact not just on Khrystal but on the other students and, especially, Gale Applegate.  Elated because we can now see without a doubt the power of numbers!  This could not have been possible if not for so many of you getting heatedly involved.

The beauty of it all goes even beyond Khrystal, her paper, and even this particular class.  The beauty of it is that, because of the power of numbers, there will now be safeguards in place at Eufaula High School to ensure that this never, ever happens again.  I can't even begin to tell you how big that is.  So, on behalf of Khrystal and Kimberlee, her mother, I say thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved and supporting Khrystal.

Thank you, Gale Applegate, for reexamining and reconsidering your stance on this matter.  It means a lot to the future of the students you'll be in charge of teaching.

There is definitely, and definitively!, power in numbers!

LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN!!!

A couple weeks ago, I wrote here about The L Project, a group of highly talented lesbian entertainers in the U.K. who have come together to produce an original song that was written as a message of affirmation to the LGBT youth in particular, and to troubled teens in general.  It's their contribution as we all work towards the common goals of ending bullying and stopping teen/LGBT teen suicide.  They will be releasing their single, "It Does Get Better", in less than 48 hours!!  This is an exciting time as people from around the globe are anxiously awaiting its release.

I listened to the preview of it last week and was blown away.  It's an incredible project put together by some of the most talented musicians in the U.K.  

In a nutshell, the main purpose behind releasing the single is to raise money to combat LGBT teen bullying.  That's crucial especially at a time where we're being shown time and time again that there are far, far too many people, adults, and people in power who don't give a rat's ass about our LGBT teen.  I won't get into that diatribe here.  The purpose here is to celebrate the continuing coming together of the LGBT community.  In less that 48 hours, the single will be released.  Every single dime earned from the single will go to organizations that will benefit LGBT teens and fund anti-bullying efforts.

So, if you haven't already, go the their facebook page, "LIKE" the page, then share the link with your friends, as well.  Let's show them our support!  Then, get ready for the release of "It Does Get Better".  You're going to love the song!  Thank you, The L Project, for sharing your talents with us.

"I Shouldn't Have to...Look Over My Shoulder..."

Twenty year old Brandon White of Atlanta ventured to the corner store in his community in Atlanta, GA, Saturday afternoon.  What happened as he left "the pink store" is something he'll never forget.

Deep inside of me, there's still that bruise and battered 12-year-old.   He saw the video of what happened to Brandon on Saturday and was once again reminded of his own gay bashing.  He cringed.  And, speaking for that broken 12-year-old, I can tell Brandon that he will always remember February 4th, 2012.  He will never look at life the same.

On Saturday, February 4th, Brandon was brutally attacked by a group of street thugs who call themselves 1029 Jack City Gang.  As they attacked him, they hurled gay slurs at him, "no faggots in Jack City", just to make sure the injuries were internal as well as external but, trust me, they weren't necessary.  The internal injuries were inflicted without them.  The external injuries will heal in no time.
 
The world is a vastly different place than it was when I was attacked as a 12-year-old.  Today, there's the in-an-instance-access-to-the-world Internet.  Brandon's attackers wisely used the Internet to Brandon's advantage:  they opted to post the video online.  In my day, there was no get-it-right-now news outlet.  Therefore, no one ever saw my attack or attackers other than the Southerners who lived where I was attacked but elected to not get involved.  Today, however, thanks to the spontaneity of the Internet, Brandon's attack, and attackers!, have been seen around the world already.  That's a good thing!! 

Because, at least in part, the video that was posted online, the FBI is also involved in trying to crack this case.  They're investigating it as a hate crime.  Bravo!  Now, let's just hope that the video is revealing enough for someone to identify those responsible for this horrific hate crime.  And, that includes the camera person.  Eleven thousand dollars in reward money has been offered for any information that will lead to the arrest of those responsible.  And, there's a Crime Stoppers number, 404-577-TIPS(8577) for anyone who may have any information.

Hatred against the LGBT community is going to come to a screeching halt.  Our numbers are ever-increasing.  Our voices are getting stronger and clearer.  Our message of zero tolerance is building momentum.  Here's to hoping these cowards are quickly brought to justice before another Jack City video has the opportunity to be made.

A Mother Responds in Teacher Bias Case

"I am the mother of the student in this situation. In speaking with the principal Monday, he did indeed state that he supported the teachers position simply because she stated that the topics were up to her discretion. I told him outright that I thought it was BS that she could give an assignment to choose a controversial issue and then refuse to grade it because she didn't like the topic. She told me she was against gay marriage, told the principal she was for it and then told my daughter she was against it. She is a complete liar and should in no way be trusted with our young minds. Last night I left a message with Congressman Boren regarding this situation and told him an investigation into this was necessary. I (we) have plans to take this as far as we can to see that the right thing is done. We are considering moving so that we don't have to continue living in such a bigoted community. All your support just reinforces her decision to take a failing grade not just on her report but for the quarter/semester. She would rather fail doing what she feels is right instead of bowing down to the system. Any suggestions on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated!"

That was left as a comment on the blog entry pertaining to the school's decision to stand by Gale Applegate's bias decision.  Khyrstal has decided to fight the system for what she believes in.  I, for one, applaud her.  She was very brave to choose the topic she chose to write about in the first place.  Now, in the face of adversity, she's opted to stick to her guns and fight when it would've been so much easier for her to buckle under the pressure and write about something more...pedestrian. 

In an unintended response to the mother's question of how to proceed in this battle, it was suggested that they take this to the ACLU.  Marvelous idea.  And, she's already contacted her Congressman.  Anyone who reads this and has legal knowledge and expertise in such matters, please feel free to advise her. 

This is a case of blatant, in-your-face bigotry and intolerance no matter how they try to dress it up.  If a student is only allowed to expand their thoughts to the limits of the box in which the teacher resides, (s)he eventually attain the same myopic views of the teacher.  And, the cycle is perpetuated.

There is truly power in numbers!  Emboldened by our enormous response to Khyrstal's plight, she and her family has chosen to fight for what's right.  In response, we need to continue to show them our unfailing support.  Our message must be very loud and unmistakably clear:  Eufaura High School's policy that allows for teacher, and apparently administrator bias and intolerance in fact will not be tolerated or accepted.  Zero tolerance means just that.

And, to the mother, as you read this, I strongly encourage you to click the comments link and read those, as well.  There will, quite possibly, be answers to your question there.  In addition to the comments left on this blog, you'll want to check a few facebook pages' comments to this story as well.  There has been many comments already posted.  Hopefully, in response to your plea for assistance, there will be many, many more. 

Pages where this article has been placed:

Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook 

STOP Teenage Suicide 

Bisexuality Is Real - It Exists

Support Gay Marriage Across America 

School Sides With Biased Teacher in Oklahoma

"Proof came today, The mother met with the school and they state that they will FAIL the student if she writes this paper on this topic and won't even read it. AUTOMATIC "F" just for the topic. I'm sorry, even if she is not for gay marriage this is not OK, grade a paper on merits, not your person thoughts!

Please email the school at: gwdavis@eufaula.k12.ok.us
Thank you."

That was a comment left yesterday afternoon on the original blog entry about Gale Applegate, a teacher in Oklahoma.  Incredibly, with people from around the country, world!, contacting them, they opted to turn up their nose and announce that they SHARE in her bigotry!  That's a slap in the face.

Apparently, the email address link for the Dean of Students was either bogus or has been changed.  The link no longer works.  However, there are other ways to contact the school and the superintendent.

Superintendent Rita Ford
918-689-2152

Principal Garret Davis

Eufaula High School
1st & Woodland
Eufaula, Oklahoma 74432-2410
Phone: 918.689.2556
Fax: 918.689.1099

 

The hope is that everyone will continue voicing their outrage as such a flagrant show of bigotry and intolerance.  Oh, and suggest that they read today's Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruling on same-sex marriage.  

Six Million People Can't be Wrong

I speak often of Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook.  There's a reason for that.  In my humble opinion, they are singlehandedly changing the world.  That's a very strong statement.  It puts a lot of responsibility on the great people who make their platform work.  And, it puts a ton of weight on the shoulders of Kel, the creator of this phenomena.  

Apparently, there are many people who agree with me.  Besides the fact that their facebook page now has over 315,000 members, and growing by leaps and bounds on a weekly basis, today their webpage added it's 6 millionth visitor!!!  Six million, three hundred thousand people worldwide agree with me that Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook, it the community of change.  The beauty of that is they are not wilting in the least from the pressure of such gaudy numbers.  In fact, they crave more and celebrate each milestone.  Why?  Obvious answer:  the higher the numbers, the more people who are being reached, the better the chances of helping people who really need help the most.

They are the trailblazers.  Why?  What's their lure?  What is it that's constantly attracting tens of thousands of people to their page and website on a weekly basis?  Simple answer:  They reach out to everyone.  Gays and straights alike, from around the world!, interact with their twin pages daily, contributing their own stories, sharing photos, or just offering support.  It's become the premiere "go to" spot on facebook.  That carries a lot of weight considering facebook boasts over 800,000,000 users.

Kevin "Kel" O'Neil, WHOF's creator started this on a lark, actually.  In his own words:

" WHOF, all started on the 9th May 2010. During a search for a gay group I found two hate pages. They only had a few members , but all I could think was what if one of my family found this page and read the hate speech.

I decided to"report" both pages. Hate speech is illegal in most of the free world and is also against Facebook's own terms of use.

I sent links to the pages to some friends so they too could report them, they replied with links to others I thought that rather than 30 of us sending each other messages, I would collate the links on one Facebook page. An hour later there were hundreds of members and by the end of the day a thousand had joined, today there are over 310,000 members" Says Kevin,from Durham in the North east of England, who later created the website to accompany the facebook page in September of 2010.

That's called filling a void.  It was the right idea at the right time, and people from every outpost on the globe have responded.

Of course, not everyone in the world agrees with such a positive movement.  Change frightens people.  And, Kel gets the hate mail to prove it!  Always one step ahead, he handles each piece of hate mail with the kind of wit and humor, yet very much to the point, that only he can do.

Another invaluable piece of the WHOF puzzle is the staff he has surrounded himself with.  The Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook administration consists of such leaders as Lyndsay Winegarden (creator of STOP Teen Suicide) and Matt Desmond (creator and owner of AddictingInfo.com)  What that means is that there's always someone knowledgeable and skilled manning the page in the event there's an emergency.  That's a crucial component.

I think, for me, what impresses me the most is some of the letters of thanks they receive from people who were in a real bad place in their lives, or maybe a friend or family member was and, thanks to WHOF, they were able to make it through. 

Ashlee Tai 07:53 AM on January 24, 2012
Dear Kel,
I wanted to share a story with you and other admin members to let you know how much of a positive impact you've made in my life and in the lives of many people that I know.  I am a proud bi-sexual and have always been open and honest about it with family, friends and strangers. It has more often than not made me a target for homophobic taunts and physical attacks. But I believe that there is nothing in the world that will ever dictate how I should live and who I should love.
One of my dearest friends Lucas just recently accepted himself for who he is. A gay man. I couldn't have been more proud when he told me.  However he was extremely scared because like myself he was raised in a devout Catholic family and was always taught that homosexuality was unnatural, perverted and going against the laws of God (However neither one of us actually believe in God). Because of his apprehension towards wanting to tell his family I told him I would be there to provide some much needed support.

It did not go well at all. His mother told him being gay was a disease and he was a threat to the institution of marriage. Then his dad packed his things and told him to get out of his house because as far as he was concerned Lucas was dead to him. Their abuse towards him continued right up until we pulled out of the driveway.
It made me angry that they could exhibit such hatred towards such a beautiful man, their only child.
I organised for him to live with my best friends family who happen to be straight Catholics that have nothing but love and support for the gay community. They have taken in many LGBT friends/acquantances of mine and have given them a home. Food to eat. Clothes on their backs. And compassion in the purest of forms.
And the one thing that I along with my friends family have encouraged them to turn to if we aren't there and they are feeling down, is your page.
You provide an incredible about of hope for the future. And in all honesty if it weren't for WHOF I don't think I'd have many of my LGBT friends still with me. I would like to thank you for saving lives because in my eyes that is what you've done and that is what you are doing.
Thank you so much for everything.
Ashlee Tai.

Those stories get me every time.  Each letter of survival validates the strong presence and tremendous work WHOF has on the Internet.

Congratulations, guys, on your 6,000,000th visitor and, more importantly, on a job very well done!