Friday, January 20, 2012

Bullycide's "Other" Victims

By now, we all know of bullycide and its victims.  It's become a lexicon as it pertains to the recent escalation of teen suicides.  Bullycide has claimed far too many victims this year alone.  We now hear regularly of another teen who was bullied relentlessly until they reached their breaking point and ended their life.  But, there are other victims of bullycide.

Surely, the families and friends of these teens who gave up too soon, who couldn't take another day of the torment are unintended victims, themselves.  And, unlike the teen who is no longer suffering, these people are left with a lifetime of unfathomable pain and struggle.  In fact, the pain is unrelenting.  In many cases, the families of these targeted victims have turned their pain into positive action.  While allowing themselves time and space to grieve their loss, they've also immersed themselves in activities and causes in attempt to prevent another family from having to deal with what they're going through.

Sometimes, their positive energies and actions aren't enough to save them from the inner pain they deal with on an everyday basis.  Even the strongest steel breaks under too much pressure.  In November, it was Roger Crouch, father of Dominic who had succumbed to bullycide the previous year.  Roger turned the pain from Dominic's suicide into a massive and effective effort to not only bring worldwide awareness to the problem, but to also reach out to other families who were walking the same walk.  Then, the steel broke.  November 28, 2011, Roger ended his pain.

Kameron Jacobsen was 14 years old when he lost his life to bullycide January 18, 2011.  And, from that tragedy, Kevin and Wanda Jacobsen set out on a mission, not unlike Roger Crouse's, to make a difference, to do their best effort to save even just one family from suffering through what they were going through.  They created KAM, "Kindness Above Malice".  In Kameron's honor, and to help alleviate their own pain, they set out to reach out to other teens, both the bullied and the bully, in an effort to help bring this madness to an end.  Saturday, January 7th, Kevin Jacobsen took his own life.  The steel broke once again.

As witnessed by the brutal beating witnessed by tens of thousands earlier this week of a Chicago teen, we have a very, very long way to go before we can begin to celebrate victory.  And now, with the loss of Kevin Jacobsen, as well as Roger Crouch before him, we're seeing that bullying has a crippling ripple effect.  So, the battle continues...and, intensifies.

To Kevin Jacobsen, may you rest in peace with your son, Kameron.  Thank you for your efforts in the fight to end bullying and bullycide.  And, to Wanda Jacobsen, our prayers and condolences are with you.  May you find peace.


  1. My beautiful 18 year son took his own life 16 years ago. He was about to sit for his HSC. He was a very intelligent, high achieving student, sensitive boy & a very faithful friend. But the relentless bullying got too much for him.
    I have grave fears that it will never end.
    You only have to watch our politicians who bully each other on a daily basis. You only have to watch some TV programs & you will see bullying. At the moment it's the Wiggles coping it. It's all over the media.
    So in actual fact they are saying that bullying is OK.
    Then they become hypocritical & denounce bullying when another one of our (mostly) promising young take their own lives.
    Even after 16 years I am devastated at the loss of my youngest son. I have two older sons & two lovely grandchildren & if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be here either.

  2. Depressingly, another of the "ripples" happened some time ago - and I'd forgotten that "ancillary suicides" were part of the map:

    • Eric Mohat (17) March 29, 2007. Ohio
    shot himself in the head with his father's gun

    • Meredith Rezak (16) April 19, 2007. Ohio
    shot herself three weeks after her friend Eric Mohat killed himself

  3. Thank you so very much for this very well said piece. This is the kind of stuff that motivates me to be a pro-gay activist, every single day. Keep up the good fight.

  4. My son passed away jan 20 2012 due to relentless bullying im taking a stand to stamp out bullying no one should be bullied and no child should have to feel thats their only way out is to take their owm life we need to let them know their is other optios i couldn't help my son but i hope to help another family before its too late