Teacher Puts Own Bias Above Student's Education

We must be doing something right as our swelling numbers continue the fight for equality for everyone.  "The other side" is fighting back with a vengeance.

A member of Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook sent a direct email to the staff there.  In it, he told of a relative of a friend in Eufaula High School, in Eufaula, OK.  A high school class is given as essay assignment.  It is to be on current events.  One girl's choice was to do one on gay marriage.  What's in the news more than that these days?  Brilliant, and brave, idea.

Gale Applegate, this girl's teacher who gave the assignment, forbade the girl to write on that topic, saying everything but the truth of the matter:  that she's a homophobe and a bigot.  She told the young pioneer outright that she would be "unable to grade her paper without bias", which is an acknowledgement that she's against same-sex marriages.  In itself, I'm ok with her being against same-sex marriage.  That's her prerogative.  I'm not ok with her imposing her bias on a young, blossoming, impressionable mind.

Is it the responsibility of a teacher to censor the critical thinking abilities of their students?  The deeper question is should a teacher even be allowed to impose their own prejudices upon their students?  The answer to both is an unequivocal no.  There is no way that young Khrystal shouldn't be able to write to her imagination's extent and on whatever topic she chooses.  If the idea was to write on current events, what could be more current, more relevant than today's nationwide, indeed worldwide, struggle for marriage equality?  Instead of allowing this young student to explore and express her opinions on a critical and controversial topic, Ms. Applegate threatened to not only fail the assignment:  she threatened to fail Khrystal for the class!  Every clear thinking parent, student, male or female should be outraged at this teacher's arrogance.  Forget the bigotry.  She's allowed, under the Constitution, to be an ass.  However, she is not allowed to force feed her prejudices to her students.

One of my favorite battle cries is THERE IS POWER IN NUMBERS!!  Those who are in the U.S. can voice your concerns by calling the school superintendent as well as the principal directly.  Those outside the U.S. who wish to voice their opinions can write to the address below.  There are also email addresses, both for the principal and the Dean of Students:

gwdavis@eufaula.k12.ok.us  -  Principal


jlbohannon@eufaula.k12.ok.  -  Johnny Bohannon, Dean of Students

Superintendent Rita Ford
918-689-2152

Principal Garret Davis

Eufaula High School
1st & Woodland
Eufaula, Oklahoma 74432-2410
Phone: 918.689.2556
Fax: 918.689.1099

Imposing limitations on what a student can explore and express academically is detrimental to every student's educational, psychological, and mental growth.  Worse, it grooms them to be just as prejudiced as the teacher.  The time for such brainwashing has come to an end.  We need to make sure Gale Applegate knows and fully understands that.

12-Year-Old Clifford Rodriques Dead by Suicide in New Bedford

This in my third article in just over 17 hours, and all three were dealing with another preventable loss of a young life.  On Monday, January 31st, Clifford Rodriques died by suicide.  It remains a mystery as to the why of this case.  Police investigation is ongoing.

I don't think I need to state anymore the state of emergency that we are in.  Talking about it isn't changing anything.  Well, it is.  It's making us more and more angry.  And, that's not a bad thing at all.  Perhaps, we can begin turning the anger into positive action.  No longer can we wait for somebody else to initiate the change.  Each and every one of us has to do our part, to the best of our ability, to prevent this from continuing.  Sometimes, simple steps go a long way:

• know the warning signs.  I can't emphasize enough how important that is.
• Talk to your son, daughter, sister, brother, or friend, if they appear to be in distress.  More importantly, listen carefully to what they're saying.
• Don't hesitate to get the proper authorities involved.  
• Have resources readily available if you know of someone who's voicing suicidal ideation.
• Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook isn't just about the LGBT community.  They're touching, and saving many lives.  They have a wonderful section on suicide support on their website.  Use it.
• Keep this link handy: Befrienders Worldwide.
• And, definitely have this number readily available:  1-800-273-TALK (8255)  That is the number for the national suicide prevent lifeline.  They have a website as well as a facebook page.

Being highly involved, sadly, won't save Clifford Rodriques' life.  However, being highly involved will go a long way towards ending this maddening cycle of teen suicides.  I hope I'm able to see it within my own lifetime.

Yet Another Young Life Lost to Bullycide: Eira Maghuyop, 14, Rest In Peace

I'm reaching the point where I don't know what else to say.  The redundant pace of this alarming epidemic is leaving me heart-wrenched and at a loss for words.  Tuesday, January 31, 2012, 14-year-old Eira Maghuyop added her name to the growing list of bullycides.  She was a freshman at Ursuline High School in New Rochelle, NY.  A freshman.  I look back through my high school yearbook and see just how young we really are when we're freshmen.  Ursuline High School is mourning one of theirs today.


According to the news reports, she was a victim of cyberbullying.  The New Rochelle police have her computer to investigate.  It is my sincerest hope that they're able to pinpoint who was doing the bullying and dole out punishment to the fullest extent of the law.  The message still isn't being heard:  WE WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE BULLYING OF ANY SORT!!  It is also my hope that the already-swelling number of ordinary, and not-so-ordinary citizens continue to scream that message to the top of their lungs until we can finally close this deplorable chapter of our existence.  


Eira's friends immediately set up an anti-bullying facebook page in her honor.  It has swelled to over 10,000 members at last glance.  That needs to increase tenfold.  There is also several YouTube videos already posted in her memory.  I'm really tired shedding tears as I watch these wonderful young people's images who lost their lives senselessly.  We need to work even harder.


By all accounts, Eira was a sweet, bubbly young girl, full of laughter and promise.  And, it's evident that she was loved dearly by those close to her.  One of her closest friends wrote this on her tumblr blog:

This  is Eira Maghuyop.

She was 14.  We didn’t talk all the time, but we talked occasionally.  Every time we talked, she managed to make me smile or laugh, and we both loved Vampire Diaries and The Secret Circle.  This summer, we were going to meet uup in N.Y.C. and she promised to give me a tour.  She was the sweetest and bubbliest person alive.  That’s why it was all a shock last night to learn that this beautiful girl took her own life.  When I heard the news, I was so…shocked.  I had no idea she was depressed, or thinking of suicide.  It was so sad.  Ii cried for about 2 hours upon learning she had died.  She killed herself due to the fact that she goy bullies.  Really?  What the actually f**k.  F**k you b*tches that bullied this sweet girl until she couldn’t take it anymore.  I miss her, I miss Eira.  She was only 14.  That’s way too young.  She had her whole life ahead of her.  We would always joke about who was older, and who was more mature since her birthday was 6 days ahead of mine.  She told me I was going to make it big one day.  I took those words to heart, babygirl. :’)

R.I.P. Eira Maghuyop

F**k I hate this world…Why does this happen to such good people.  You see what you guys done.  yeah.  f**ked up

What's needed now, right now!, is for more and more people to continue to band together and take action, whatever it takes!, to make absolutely sure that we bring this scourge of our society to a screeching halt.  We need to FORCE the politicians to listen and take answers.  We need to compel teachers and school administrators to be much more PROactive, and diligent, in preventing bullying.  And, particularly in the case of bullycides, we need to MAKE SURE that those who are guilty of the bullying are made to understand that what they did was just as bad as pointing a gun at their victim and pulling the trigger.  The end result is the same.

Eira had a beautiful family.  Now, they're enduring the deepest level of sorrow imaginable.  It shouldn't be that way.  Rest in peace, Eira Fatima Maghuyop.  I know you will be missed.

Rest in Peace Ashley Duncan, 17: No One Listened

Monday, Ashley Duncan didn't go to school.  Instead, she used the Internet Sunday and into Monday, her Twitter and Tumblr accounts, to tell anyone who was listening that she was in too much pain to handle alone.  No one listened.  Friends say they thought she was joking even as she posted a picture of a revolver that she'd "...finally found...".  Then, Monday, Ashley, 17, took that newfound revolver and ended her life.

She spoke of being in too much pain.  She spoke bluntly: "Life ain't worth all the pain."  She spoke of wanting to die "...every minute, second, hour, day, month, year...".  No one took that seriously.  Now, sadly, she's gone.

I'm involved in several anti-bullying, anti-suicide groups and communities online.  It's not unusual at all to read distressing messages from young people.  In fact, I read them almost daily.  And, in truth, there have been one or two that have raised the suspicion "I wonder if (s)he's serious or just pulling my leg?"  In a couple cases, my gut told me that I was just being played with.  However, I understand that they could also be serious about it and in a very precarious situation.  I take every call for help seriously until I find out otherwise.  And, even if then, I'll follow up a couple time just to make sure things are ok.  A human life is too precious to do otherwise.  Unfortunately, now Ashley's friends will have a lifetime of second-guessing themselves, wondering if they could've been the one to save her life.  The answer will never be known.

This won't be the first time I've said this:  listening goes such a long way.  Not just hearing.  I'm hearing a wonderful song being played on the overhead music player right now; however, I'm not listening to it.  I'm focused on Ashley Duncan's suicide right now.  Listening requires attention.  If every one of use can hone the fine art of listening, we can undoubtedly save lives.  There's almost always a cry for help before disaster strikes.  We have to be able to pay attention, to listen, in order to hear it.  If someone had listened to Ashley, she'd be alive today.

Sadly, that's not the case.  Sadly, her friends and family now must say goodbye.  Rest in peace, Ashley Duncan.  You have our attention now.  Sorry it came too late.

From Beyond the Grave

I've been reading and re-reading this article for over a week, now, trying to make sense of it.  I've pored over every piece of information from the case reports to the newspaper articles to the death certificate.  I've looked at all of the pictures, including the ones of Jason Dale Bolton's tortured body lying in the middle of the street after being run over by a car to the ones of him lying, peacefully, in his coffin.  I watched the video.  And, after all of this, I came away 1.) heartbroken; but, 2.) angry.  Angry that people could be so cold, so cruel as to do this to another human being.  Angry that the Fayette County (Indiana) authorities chose to sweep this under the carpet.  See, Jason was brutally murdered, but they wrote it off as a bad car accident.

The story of Jason Dale Bolton dates back to August of 1991.  He was 16 at the time.  Life hadn't even really begun for him.  From what I've been able to glean from the information provided, Jason got mixed up with the wrong crowd.  On that fateful night in 1991, he was at a friend and neighbor's house.  They were partying.  The toxicology report shows alcohol (blood/alcohol level 0.11) and Xanax.  So, they were partying pretty heavily.  That, however, doesn't explain the chain of events that followed.

Jason was castrated.  His mutilated body lie in the middle of a rural road as he bled profusely.  Passed out from the horrific pain, his attackers thought he lied there dead.  In an effort to at least attempt to cover up their brutal crime, they opted to stage it as an accident.  Already lying spread eagle in the middle of the road, on the verge of bleeding to death, they opened his legs even more.  They then took their car and carefully ran over him, crotch first, as people watched.  People watched!!  If he wasn't already dead, the weight of the car crush the life out of him.  That's an amazing level of violence.  If there's a silver lining for Jason, it was that the body is designed to shut down if its enduring severe trauma.  He didn't feel the weight of a vehicle crush his 16-year-old torso and skull.  He did, however sadly, have to endure the unimaginable pain from the castration.  And, for that incredibly inhumane action, no one has had to pay.  The Fayette County authorities bought the "accident" story, castration and all.

For 20 1/2 years now, Jason's family has had to not only live with the pain of having lost their beloved 16-year-old son and brother, they've also had to endure the horror of knowing beyond a shadow of doubt that he was brutally murdered, by people he knew and grew up with, yet no one was charged.  No one.  "It was an accident."  The police didn't investigate it further.  Worse, there are people who witnessed this heinous act who never came forward, people who lived right there where the Boltons lived.  Unfathomable.

So, here we are:  more than 20 years later.  Still, no justice for Jason.  Or, his family.  And, you're asking "why write about this now?"  Here's why.  Jason Dale Bolton deserves justice.  It's as simple as that.  His family needs closure.  A whole generation has entered this world and are now college-age since the time Jason was killed.  Yet, it goes unsolved today.  Not only that, but the Fayette County police say they don't have the resources available to re-open the case.  If this were a family member of mine, I'd be screaming at the top of my lungs every single day until they were compelled to re-open and re-examine the evidence in the case.  Handled properly, they'd stop at the castration and know that foul play was very definitely at hand.  Therefore, the mission here is to spread the word, and spread it to every corner of the planet.  The more people who know of this atrocity, the better the chances are of compelling Fayette County to re-open the case and find for justice Jason.

If this story angers or moves you in any way, share it.  And, keep sharing it until there is justice for Jason Dale Bolton.

A Teen Suicide That Wasn't

I was trying to go to bed, actually.  I had finished up what I had to do for the night and was tired.  I rarely ever use my twitter.  For whatever reason, last night I did decide to check it to see what was going on there.  And, right before my eyes, trending at the moment was RIPMatt.  Another apparent teen suicide.  Suddenly, I was wide awake again.

I'm reading every tweet that comes along.  One after the other after another, they were wishing Matt a fond farewell.  And, they were voicing their anger at yet another teen suicide from bullying.  Another bullycide.  So, the natural thing for me to do is to start digging for more information.  I'm following links; I'm asking questions; I'm googling...anything that would shed some light on what was going on.  Nothing.  No news anywhere.  However, I know from past experiences that that doesn't necessarily mean anything.  Often times, the actual news story comes later.  There was one instance earlier in the year where my blog entry was the breaking news on a teen suicide.  Finally, I gave in to my leadened eyelids and called it a night, figuring that I'd exhausted every avenue I could think of.  "There's bound to be more information about it when I wake up" was my thought process.  And, there was.

As it turns out, Matt is alive and well.  There's no telling how the rumor started or what made it, at one point, the 4th highest trending story on twitter.  I didn't ask.  What mattered most was that another teen wasn't lost to suicide.  The page that was a RIP page when I went to bed had been converted to a community page designed the help combat bullying.  The creator of the page figured that since there were already a substantial number of people there, initially to "pay tribute" to someone they thought was gone, they may as well keep the page and turn it into a a community for helping.  There are great people out there.  Now, we wish them well on their quest.  They're the newest members of an ever-growing army and obviously great people.

Once the dust settled and we realized that young Matt was, indeed, still very much alive and well, I took a moment (or, two) to reflect back upon what had just occurred.  There are valuable lessons to be learned from this:

1. Spreading news about a suicide is never a good thing unless there are facts.  I don't know how this one got started, and it doesn't matter.  However, it's apparent that somebody, somewhere, posted something they shouldn't have posted.  And, it mushroomed around the globe quickly.  People were upset.  People were crying.  What happens if some young person is right there at their own breaking point when they hear something like this?  News of yet another bullycide could be just enough to push them over the edge.
2. Whereas it's a great thing that so many people, and from all over the world, are now aware of the great harm that bullying causes and its devastating effects, it's also important to know that not every teen suicide is due to bullying.  Every single tweet last night was either denouncing the bullying Matt "endured" or speaking out angrily about bullying in general.  While it's a great thing that so many people are now in tune with the dilemma and are willing to speak up about it, again it's just as important to know that bullying isn't always the cause.  Jamie Hubley didn't commit suicide because he was bullied, although he had been a couple times.  He committed suicide because he suffered from depression.  So, having the facts right is important.  One guy even went as far as to name the "bully". 
3. I must have read over 1,000 tweets last night.  The vast majority of them were issuing both mandates and pleas for the bullying to stop.  "No one deserves to be bullied like he was".  If nothing else I say makes sense, I want this point to be crystal clear.  Talking about stopping the bullying means nothing at all without action.  I'll never know the exact number of tweets that were sent throughout the night.  I can tell you that it was well into the thousands.  Now, ask yourself: "what would this world be like if just the people who were part of the trending last night were to each do something, just one thing!, every single day to help prevent the bullying and end the suicides?  

Let your imagination run with that one for a while.  Then, realize that that's exactly the type of effort we need to combat this.  The bright news is that out of the rubble of last night's false alarm has come another, new battalion in the army that's ever-forming in an effort to, indeed, stop the bullying and end the teen suicides.  Roll up your sleeves.  We've got a lot of work to do.

EricJames Borges' Final Words

He was a very gifted young man.  His talent for filmmaking was made evident in the short film he made not long before his death.  People who knew him well said that EricJames had just barely scratched the surface of what would've been a terrific career and very rewarding life.  Scorned, demonized, abused both physically and emotionally by his parents, EricJames was left with scars from his coming out process that he couldn't recover from.  In a perfect world, EricJames' parents would be charged with homicide for his death.  This isn't a perfect world, and that will never happen.  No more so than the school administrators and State officials will be held culpable in the suicides of Phillip Parker or Jacob Rogers.

Memorial services were held for EricJames this past weekend.  Hundreds attended.  They went to remember.  They went to mourn.  And, they went to celebrate a gifted young life that's tragically, and needlessly, gone too soon.  It's noteworthy that his parents, the two people who gave him life only to take it away, didn't show up to the memorial services.  They were invited.

EricJames' last words, in a copyrighted suicide note that I'm not privy to, spoke lovingly to the ones who would become his de facto family in the end:  the ones who really cared and loved him.  He spoke of Lady Gaga, leaving money to her Born This Way Foundation which benefits LGBT youth.  He also left money to several other LGBT organizations that would help LGBT teens.  As was shown in his "It Gets Better" video, recorded a month before his suicide, and in death, EricJames was passionate about helping other LGBT teens so they wouldn't have to experience the sheer hell he was put through.

It is critical that we understand that the work that needs to be done before we can end teen-on-teen bullying pales in comparison to the work that needs to be done dealing with the adults in our society.  The kids are a mere reflection of what they're learning from the adults.  That a parent could inflict the type of pain EricJames' parents inflicted upon him is reprehensible, if not criminal.  No child should ever have to endure that, especially from the ones who gave him life.  Yet, it happens.  EricJames is not an isolated case.  That lawmakers can even dream of passing the type of damaging laws that a Michele Bachmann, a Stacey Campfield, or a John Ragan not only dream of but sign into law is reckless, irresponsible, and dangerous.  I've said it many times before, but it bears saying many more times:  the war against bullying has to start with the adults.  There's no way around it.

"My pain is not caused because I'm gay.  My pain was caused by the way I was treated because I am gay."  Pause to absorb that for a moment.  It can't get more to the point than that.  Those were the words EricJames wrote to end his suicide note.

I hope you're at peace now, EricJames.  Your family misses you.  Your real family.