I was posting my previous entry to one of the pages I usually post to. There was an urgent post from a young girl, asking for prayers for a young man whom she didn't know but heard that he'd just attempted suicide and was in ICU. I did a little checking, and my heart broke yet again.
Thirteen year old Colton Wilson ended his young life Tuesday, December 20th. The details have not been released as the police are continuing an investigation. Speculation is already circulating that it's yet another bullycide, but speculation is unfair to a family who is currently reeling from the loss of their 13-year-old son. We may never know the true reason why. What we do know is that the world has lost yet one more of its youth to suicide. It hurts me to write this. I can't even imagine how heavy the hearts of the family and friends are right now. Pray for them. Pray for the youth of our society.
Rest in Peace, Colton.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Judge Throws Out 9 of 13 Charges in Baltimore Bullying Case
In my Saturday, December 17th blog entry, "VICTORY!!!", I spoke briefly about a case in Baltimore where a 10-year-old special needs student had been bullied so severely, his parents were suing the school administrators and system. I provided a link to the article. Maybe you read it. Maybe not.
The latest development in that case is the judge, today, through out nearly 3/4 of the charges brought against the school and its administrators. An amazing 9 of the 13 charges were dropped, citing that they were "too vague". Apparently, not everyone has adopted a ZERO TOLERANCE policy, yet. (the maddening thing is Maryland is MY state!!!) If the school officials in this case get off with nothing more than a wrist slap, what message will that send? What will that say to the family involved? What does the kid, himself, get out that? I'll tell you. He, and they, will come away with a state-sanctioned message that kids getting bullied while on their watch really isn't a big concern of theirs. Says the defense attorney in the case, "Not all fights...are bullying..." I'm thinking the defense attorney doesn't have kids.
Let's set this straight: bullying is NEVER ok! And, when it happens at school or on school grounds, the school administrators are required, REQUIRED!, to take immediate and decisive action. Anything less than that, and every child in that school system is at risk everyday that they are in school.
Maryland would do well to follow Tennessee's lead from earlier in the week. There, the judge sent a clear-cut message the bullying was absolutely not tolerated there. State-by-state, that same policy needs to be introduced and upheld. Once implemented, any teacher or school administrator who doesn't follow the zero tolerance guidelines should be removed from a position where they are responsible for the safety, physically and emotionally, of young people. Failure to follow the zero tolerance guidelines means that they are incapable of protecting YOUR children from vicious attacks. And, if that's the case, they should have to pay. Pay by losing their jobs. And, as in the case in Baltimore, they should have to pay monetarily for the pain and suffering endured by the bullying.
Here's to hoping the jury makes the right decision.
The latest development in that case is the judge, today, through out nearly 3/4 of the charges brought against the school and its administrators. An amazing 9 of the 13 charges were dropped, citing that they were "too vague". Apparently, not everyone has adopted a ZERO TOLERANCE policy, yet. (the maddening thing is Maryland is MY state!!!) If the school officials in this case get off with nothing more than a wrist slap, what message will that send? What will that say to the family involved? What does the kid, himself, get out that? I'll tell you. He, and they, will come away with a state-sanctioned message that kids getting bullied while on their watch really isn't a big concern of theirs. Says the defense attorney in the case, "Not all fights...are bullying..." I'm thinking the defense attorney doesn't have kids.
Let's set this straight: bullying is NEVER ok! And, when it happens at school or on school grounds, the school administrators are required, REQUIRED!, to take immediate and decisive action. Anything less than that, and every child in that school system is at risk everyday that they are in school.
Maryland would do well to follow Tennessee's lead from earlier in the week. There, the judge sent a clear-cut message the bullying was absolutely not tolerated there. State-by-state, that same policy needs to be introduced and upheld. Once implemented, any teacher or school administrator who doesn't follow the zero tolerance guidelines should be removed from a position where they are responsible for the safety, physically and emotionally, of young people. Failure to follow the zero tolerance guidelines means that they are incapable of protecting YOUR children from vicious attacks. And, if that's the case, they should have to pay. Pay by losing their jobs. And, as in the case in Baltimore, they should have to pay monetarily for the pain and suffering endured by the bullying.
Here's to hoping the jury makes the right decision.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
It's OK to be Different
The tide is changing. I just read a remarkably refreshing story written by a first-grade school teacher. She tells a story of how she deals with gender-variance issues in her classroom. In the first-grade!
She was presented with an issue that needed to be addressed in order to a.) bring comfort to a student who was struggling with gender-based issues. That's right, in the first-grade! And, b.) create an environment where her students wouldn't follow the path of bullying because of perceived differences. It's a brilliant story. I don't want to say anything more about it. I've provided a link to it. Read it for yourself.
Teaching that it is ok to be different when it comes to gender-variation to first-grade students will certainly bring the ire "certain people". But, it's those "certain people" who helps create the environment that tells kids that it's ok to show intolerance and even hatred to people who are "different". Especially when it comes to sexuality. I can just hear it now: "they're trying to recruit our children!" The first time I heard that nonsense, many years ago, I laughed until I nearly peed on myself! That's insanity in its purest form.
Children that young may not be ready to identify themselves as gay, straight, or lesbian. Nor should they be expected to. However, children that young DO know that there's "something different" about them. To a person, every one of my LGBT friends knew at a very young age that they were "different". I did. And, I acted on it for the very first time when I was in the first grade. So, if they are aware enough to know that they have feelings that are different than the perceived norm, shouldn't it make sense to teach them in a way that makes them feel good about themselves. Doesn't it make sense to foster a sense of self-confidence in the while they're still very young as opposed to teaching them that they're deviant or that they need help?
I think the choice is clear: 1.) we can continue teaching that people who are "different" are to be treated as such. And, in the process, we're teaching the "different" children that they are inferior or defective. That they don't fit. That they need to be "fixed". And, in that same process, we're also teaching the kids who are NOT different, the "normal" kids, that it's alright to treat the "different" kids harshly. After all, they deserve it. They're freaks. Make no mistake: this battle has been fought many times throughout history. Slaves were "different". Jews were "different". Blacks were "different". Women were "different". And, throughout history, members from each of those groups were harassed, beaten, and even killed. Or, they killed themselves.
The second option makes much more sense. We can follow Melissa Bollow Tempel's example by teaching them at a very early age that it's ok to be different, that you really DON'T have to fit into "the box". Following her lead fosters self-confidence. It builds self-confidence. It takes away the potential future bully's most consistent tool: the perception that their targeted victim is "different" from them.
Teaching acceptance on all levels to a first-grader is simply brilliant. It certainly worked in Melissa Bollow Tempel's first-grade class... She's making a difference. If we had more people like Melissa in this world, we'd be seeing much less incidences of bullying which means far fewer incidences of teen suicide. And, that's our goal.
She was presented with an issue that needed to be addressed in order to a.) bring comfort to a student who was struggling with gender-based issues. That's right, in the first-grade! And, b.) create an environment where her students wouldn't follow the path of bullying because of perceived differences. It's a brilliant story. I don't want to say anything more about it. I've provided a link to it. Read it for yourself.
Teaching that it is ok to be different when it comes to gender-variation to first-grade students will certainly bring the ire "certain people". But, it's those "certain people" who helps create the environment that tells kids that it's ok to show intolerance and even hatred to people who are "different". Especially when it comes to sexuality. I can just hear it now: "they're trying to recruit our children!" The first time I heard that nonsense, many years ago, I laughed until I nearly peed on myself! That's insanity in its purest form.
Children that young may not be ready to identify themselves as gay, straight, or lesbian. Nor should they be expected to. However, children that young DO know that there's "something different" about them. To a person, every one of my LGBT friends knew at a very young age that they were "different". I did. And, I acted on it for the very first time when I was in the first grade. So, if they are aware enough to know that they have feelings that are different than the perceived norm, shouldn't it make sense to teach them in a way that makes them feel good about themselves. Doesn't it make sense to foster a sense of self-confidence in the while they're still very young as opposed to teaching them that they're deviant or that they need help?
I think the choice is clear: 1.) we can continue teaching that people who are "different" are to be treated as such. And, in the process, we're teaching the "different" children that they are inferior or defective. That they don't fit. That they need to be "fixed". And, in that same process, we're also teaching the kids who are NOT different, the "normal" kids, that it's alright to treat the "different" kids harshly. After all, they deserve it. They're freaks. Make no mistake: this battle has been fought many times throughout history. Slaves were "different". Jews were "different". Blacks were "different". Women were "different". And, throughout history, members from each of those groups were harassed, beaten, and even killed. Or, they killed themselves.
The second option makes much more sense. We can follow Melissa Bollow Tempel's example by teaching them at a very early age that it's ok to be different, that you really DON'T have to fit into "the box". Following her lead fosters self-confidence. It builds self-confidence. It takes away the potential future bully's most consistent tool: the perception that their targeted victim is "different" from them.
Teaching acceptance on all levels to a first-grader is simply brilliant. It certainly worked in Melissa Bollow Tempel's first-grade class... She's making a difference. If we had more people like Melissa in this world, we'd be seeing much less incidences of bullying which means far fewer incidences of teen suicide. And, that's our goal.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Brandon McInerney Sentenced to 21 Years for Killing Gay Classmate
Today, Brandon McInerney, who admitted to executing Lawrence King three years ago, will spend the majority of the next 21 years in state prison. Lawrence King, who was openly gay, was shot 2 times in the head, execution-style by McInerney, who was 14 at the time. Fourteen. King was 15 at the time of his death.
McInerney, who is straight, hit a breaking point after King had allegedly hit on him and a couple other straight boys. So, instead of confronting King about this, telling him that you disapproved of his advances and wanted him to stop, you aimed a gun at his head and pulled the trigger. Twice.
This is a tragedy for all parties. It goes without saying that life will never be the same for the family and friends of Lawrence King. His life was snuffed out after only 15 years. Intolerance. Hatred. Lack of understanding. At the same time, Brandon McInerney's family also lost their son on that day. He will spend a good part of his early adulthood in a prison cell. When he returns to society, he will not be the same person. So, in effect, two young lives ended that day.
I'm not suggesting sympathy for Brandon by any stretch of the imagination. He most certainly deserved to be punished severely for the crime he committed. Zero tolerance. What I am suggesting, however, is something I've been saying all along. The real issue is with the adults in Brandon's life when he was 14 years old. Where did he learn to hate at that level? Or, at all!!?? Where were the school administrators when this tension was intensifying? Where was the intervention? Where on Earth did 14-year-old Brandon McInerney get a loaded gun from? Sadly, if these simple questions could've been answered 3 years ago, Lawrence King would be in college right now. And, Brandon McInerney wouldn't be heading off to a world unlike anything he's ever known.
McInerney, who is straight, hit a breaking point after King had allegedly hit on him and a couple other straight boys. So, instead of confronting King about this, telling him that you disapproved of his advances and wanted him to stop, you aimed a gun at his head and pulled the trigger. Twice.
This is a tragedy for all parties. It goes without saying that life will never be the same for the family and friends of Lawrence King. His life was snuffed out after only 15 years. Intolerance. Hatred. Lack of understanding. At the same time, Brandon McInerney's family also lost their son on that day. He will spend a good part of his early adulthood in a prison cell. When he returns to society, he will not be the same person. So, in effect, two young lives ended that day.
I'm not suggesting sympathy for Brandon by any stretch of the imagination. He most certainly deserved to be punished severely for the crime he committed. Zero tolerance. What I am suggesting, however, is something I've been saying all along. The real issue is with the adults in Brandon's life when he was 14 years old. Where did he learn to hate at that level? Or, at all!!?? Where were the school administrators when this tension was intensifying? Where was the intervention? Where on Earth did 14-year-old Brandon McInerney get a loaded gun from? Sadly, if these simple questions could've been answered 3 years ago, Lawrence King would be in college right now. And, Brandon McInerney wouldn't be heading off to a world unlike anything he's ever known.
Religion, Homosexuality, and Suicide
I just finished reading an entry from a fellow blogger that moved me to tears. And, I strongly suggest that everyone reads this story. See, religion nearly cost him his son. Thank God he didn't succeed. Ironic, huh?
I promised myself from the beginning of this blogging venture that I would do my damnedest to keep religion out of this. It's hard. When you see people like Michele Bachmann constantly ranting in the media against gays, (and, today's story is a doozy!!!), it becomes increasingly harder. People of her ilk are extremely dangerous because they've become so consumed with their belief and ideology that there's no room for anything other than what they believe. That's a dangerous place to be. Life is so many shades of gray. Kept out of the limelight as this woman runs for the highest office in the entire free world is the fact that her husband runs one of those "clinics" that "cures" gays. Where was he last week when I had a cold? These "clinics have been known to drive people to suicide. And, the scary part about that is that "they're" ok with that. In the eyes, in the heart (sic) and soul of these "believers", if you're gay or lesbian, you SHOULD burn. (did I say she wanted to become our President?)
I relate to this lunacy completely. I was born into one of those 5-day-a-week church-going families. I was also born gay. Once my mother passed away, the rest of the family effectively died, as well. I have a sister who lives literally 5 minutes away from where I'm sitting this very moment, and 15 minutes away from where I live. I have not seen my mother's daughter since Thanksgiving 1985! All of my aunts and uncles and cousins also soundly rejected me, as well. Orphaned. HATED, in the name of the Lord. I survived.
Here's the real deal, and you're free to agree or disagree with me. Either way, my view here is unflappable. Today, there are people who disguise themselves as Christians who are as dangerous to the mental and emotional well-being, not to mention safety, of members of our society as any terrorist could ever be. When you have a pastor ordering his congregation (Grace Fellowship Church in Fruitland, TN) to beat a gay couple trying to enter the church; when you have Westboro Baptist Church, pastor and congregation, carrying out their mission of hatred; when you have a Presidential candidate pushing anti-gay rhetoric so fiercely that the rate of gay teen suicides in the district she represents is greatly higher than in any other part of the state, you know that we have a deep problem. Fruitland? Heh heh heh.
It's okay if these people don't "accept" me. I couldn't care less. I accept me, and I know that God accepts me. And, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs. Supposedly, that's one of the beauties of living in the United States of America. Supposedly. However, when these people start attempting to ram their beliefs down our collective throats, when these people start committing acts of violence against us, when these people start showing up at our funerals as we mourn and say goodbye to our loved ones, the line has to be definitively drawn. Enough hatred!
The irony here is that God is love. That's what I was taught. These people, disguised as Christians, are preaching exactly the opposite. They're spreading hatred and intolerance in the name of the Lord. (who REALLY needs to fear Judgment Day?) I'm reminded of a quote from Gandhi: "I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike Christ." Amen.
I promised myself from the beginning of this blogging venture that I would do my damnedest to keep religion out of this. It's hard. When you see people like Michele Bachmann constantly ranting in the media against gays, (and, today's story is a doozy!!!), it becomes increasingly harder. People of her ilk are extremely dangerous because they've become so consumed with their belief and ideology that there's no room for anything other than what they believe. That's a dangerous place to be. Life is so many shades of gray. Kept out of the limelight as this woman runs for the highest office in the entire free world is the fact that her husband runs one of those "clinics" that "cures" gays. Where was he last week when I had a cold? These "clinics have been known to drive people to suicide. And, the scary part about that is that "they're" ok with that. In the eyes, in the heart (sic) and soul of these "believers", if you're gay or lesbian, you SHOULD burn. (did I say she wanted to become our President?)
I relate to this lunacy completely. I was born into one of those 5-day-a-week church-going families. I was also born gay. Once my mother passed away, the rest of the family effectively died, as well. I have a sister who lives literally 5 minutes away from where I'm sitting this very moment, and 15 minutes away from where I live. I have not seen my mother's daughter since Thanksgiving 1985! All of my aunts and uncles and cousins also soundly rejected me, as well. Orphaned. HATED, in the name of the Lord. I survived.
Here's the real deal, and you're free to agree or disagree with me. Either way, my view here is unflappable. Today, there are people who disguise themselves as Christians who are as dangerous to the mental and emotional well-being, not to mention safety, of members of our society as any terrorist could ever be. When you have a pastor ordering his congregation (Grace Fellowship Church in Fruitland, TN) to beat a gay couple trying to enter the church; when you have Westboro Baptist Church, pastor and congregation, carrying out their mission of hatred; when you have a Presidential candidate pushing anti-gay rhetoric so fiercely that the rate of gay teen suicides in the district she represents is greatly higher than in any other part of the state, you know that we have a deep problem. Fruitland? Heh heh heh.
It's okay if these people don't "accept" me. I couldn't care less. I accept me, and I know that God accepts me. And, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs. Supposedly, that's one of the beauties of living in the United States of America. Supposedly. However, when these people start attempting to ram their beliefs down our collective throats, when these people start committing acts of violence against us, when these people start showing up at our funerals as we mourn and say goodbye to our loved ones, the line has to be definitively drawn. Enough hatred!
The irony here is that God is love. That's what I was taught. These people, disguised as Christians, are preaching exactly the opposite. They're spreading hatred and intolerance in the name of the Lord. (who REALLY needs to fear Judgment Day?) I'm reminded of a quote from Gandhi: "I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike Christ." Amen.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Don't Drink the Water in Ohio
It has to be something in the water. Within a span of 2 months, the Ohio public school system was on the wrong side of a major news story involving young people, bullying, and the school system's inability to do anything about it. Or, was it a lack of caring?
On October 17th, openly gay teenage student Zach Huston was brutally attacked while the whole episode was caught on a cellphone video camera. If you haven't seen it, do so. It's beyond bullying, actually. It's a clear-cut case of premeditated first-degree assault. And, as a punishment, the perpetrator received a 3-day suspension. Unbelievable!
The silver lining of the incident is that a.) the video quickly went viral on youtube (exposing to the world Union-Scioto High School officials' inability to protect their students); and, b.) the ACLU has taken this case and is pushing to have the perpetrator brought up on hate-crime charges. While they're at it, they should charge the person who filmed it, since they obviously knew what was about to transpire, as well as the school administrators who told young Zach, when he complained repeatedly to them about the bullying and abuse, that "boys will be boys". Really? Is that the best you can offer your students?
Then, on November 28th, Brittany Tucker ended up in ICU after enduring far too much bullying. She, too, had gone to the school officials. They didn't respond. Brittany just returned to school this past week, Monday the 12th. And, the bullying returned, as well. Again, Brittany went to the school's administrators. THEY DIDN'T RESPOND!! Brittany reached her breaking point and reacted to the bullies. Brittany was expelled!! In my blog entry, "URGENT CALL TO ACTION!!", there are some contacts for every single person who reads this to contact and expose the injustice and inability of Brittany's school's administrators to protect her. Not only did they not protect her, they allowed it to go on so long, she felt no other way out but suicide. (thank God it was a failed attempt) Not only did they not protect her, they expelled HER for lashing out at the same bullies THEY didn't address in the first place.
Get those links. Let your voices be heard...loudly and clearly. Brittany's school administrator's actions were unacceptable and will not be tolerated. ZERO TOLERANCE! Oh, and if you ever visit Ohio, don't drink the water.
On October 17th, openly gay teenage student Zach Huston was brutally attacked while the whole episode was caught on a cellphone video camera. If you haven't seen it, do so. It's beyond bullying, actually. It's a clear-cut case of premeditated first-degree assault. And, as a punishment, the perpetrator received a 3-day suspension. Unbelievable!
The silver lining of the incident is that a.) the video quickly went viral on youtube (exposing to the world Union-Scioto High School officials' inability to protect their students); and, b.) the ACLU has taken this case and is pushing to have the perpetrator brought up on hate-crime charges. While they're at it, they should charge the person who filmed it, since they obviously knew what was about to transpire, as well as the school administrators who told young Zach, when he complained repeatedly to them about the bullying and abuse, that "boys will be boys". Really? Is that the best you can offer your students?
Then, on November 28th, Brittany Tucker ended up in ICU after enduring far too much bullying. She, too, had gone to the school officials. They didn't respond. Brittany just returned to school this past week, Monday the 12th. And, the bullying returned, as well. Again, Brittany went to the school's administrators. THEY DIDN'T RESPOND!! Brittany reached her breaking point and reacted to the bullies. Brittany was expelled!! In my blog entry, "URGENT CALL TO ACTION!!", there are some contacts for every single person who reads this to contact and expose the injustice and inability of Brittany's school's administrators to protect her. Not only did they not protect her, they allowed it to go on so long, she felt no other way out but suicide. (thank God it was a failed attempt) Not only did they not protect her, they expelled HER for lashing out at the same bullies THEY didn't address in the first place.
Get those links. Let your voices be heard...loudly and clearly. Brittany's school administrator's actions were unacceptable and will not be tolerated. ZERO TOLERANCE! Oh, and if you ever visit Ohio, don't drink the water.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
VICTORY!!!!!
It seems that most of the things I post are doom and gloom. Then again, a battlefield is never a very happy place. So, I love it when I'm able to share some good news, the periodic victory.
In the news just this week is a story about a bullied special needs student in Baltimore. The parents of that boy can take heart in this story.
Jacob Gentry is and was a special needs student in Tennessee. He was so badly bullied, he lost an eye to the violence against him. What was worse, as in far too many cases, the teacher did nothing to intervene. The school administrators did nothing to make it better. Well, perhaps this will start making these administrators realize that zero tolerance means zero tolerance. Failing to intervene or failing to provide a safe place for these teenagers to go to get an education makes the school administrators just as culpable as the actual perpetrators. A judge in Tennessee ruled this week that the school district was, indeed, as culpable and awarded the boy over a quarter of a million dollars!!! That won't replace Jacob's vision. It'll only make a dent into the medical bills and lawyer fees. But, it sure does send a very clear message that enough really is enough. Zero tolerance means zero tolerance.
In the news just this week is a story about a bullied special needs student in Baltimore. The parents of that boy can take heart in this story.
Jacob Gentry is and was a special needs student in Tennessee. He was so badly bullied, he lost an eye to the violence against him. What was worse, as in far too many cases, the teacher did nothing to intervene. The school administrators did nothing to make it better. Well, perhaps this will start making these administrators realize that zero tolerance means zero tolerance. Failing to intervene or failing to provide a safe place for these teenagers to go to get an education makes the school administrators just as culpable as the actual perpetrators. A judge in Tennessee ruled this week that the school district was, indeed, as culpable and awarded the boy over a quarter of a million dollars!!! That won't replace Jacob's vision. It'll only make a dent into the medical bills and lawyer fees. But, it sure does send a very clear message that enough really is enough. Zero tolerance means zero tolerance.
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