In case you missed it, and I did by mere minutes, Jonah and his wonderful family were on Good Morning America this morning speaking out publicly for the first time since the frenzy began last weekend. Okay, let me first say to those who lashed out at my posts yesterday about Jonahmania that you're missing, completely, what I was saying. Let me tell you that watching that raw video from August STILL makes me cry! The 12-year-old boy inside of me who was savagely beaten in a gay bashing felt every single bit of Jonah's pain. As he cried, I cried. And, in the end, as he vowed to fight on, I, too, chose to fight on through it. I'm so glad that I did. He will be, too.
This doesn't mean, mind you, that I'm wavering one iota from my stance that, as we saw again this morning on GMA, Jonah is okay. Better yet, he's going to BE okay. My "rant", as it was called, remains intact: share some of this now-overabundant love and support with some of the other, hidden, teens who are in the exact same boat that Jonah was in in August and let THEM know that there's hope for them. Let THEM know that there's literally millions upon millions of people worldwide, thanks largely to Jonah's video, who are willing to be there for them, as well. See, Jacob Rogers didn't feel that love and support. Now, he's gone. I'm not ready to move past that one yet. He struggled in his final days while the world gushed over Jonah. Not a knock on Jonah; a knock on us as a people. You call it a rant; I call it the blinding truth. Tomato, tomato.
In Jonah's interview, we get to see a healthy, happy Jonah along with his loving, supportive family. Heartwarming. Johan said that he's very happy that "the topic is getting the attention it needs to", finally. That's his gift to us. He encouraged other at-risk teens who are being bullied to "tell your parents...because keeping it in just makes it a lot harder." And, again, his unspoken message was, "I'm ok. Things were really dark then, but I'm ok."
I embrace Jonah Mowry. Undoubtedly, millions of other teens in the same boat do, as well. It took unprecedented courage for him to make that early morning video last August. We're a better people because he did.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Rest in Peace Cameron DeVeronica (14 Year Old Victim of Bullycide)
Eight days into the month, and I'm telling you about a 4th teen suicide that came at the hands of bullying. Fourteen year old Cameron Lee DeVeronica committed suicide 11/29/2011. Her friends say she was bullied. The police are investigating "the extent to which bullying may have played a role in Cameron's death." Really?
Meanwhile, hundreds of her schoolmates took to the streets with their own effort to end the madness and bring about change. Said one student, "...there's so much that can be done, and there's so much that could've been done previously to prevent this...and, so much more that should be done." We need more people like him, young and old, to start stepping up.
How many more young lives do we have to lose before everybody from the Highest Office on down see this for exactly what it is: an epidemic. The rollcall for this year's young lives lost to suicide is staggering. And, the year isn't over.
Kudos to the students of Spencerport High School who joined the battle cry of "enough is enough" and took to the streets. Rest when and if you need to, but never give this fight. We need more warriors like you, more voices like Jonah Mowry's, and a more concerted effort by our leaders in order to bring about the changes that will matter.
Bullying should not be punished by detention. Detention means they eventually get to go back to school. Jamie Hubley, Ben Lewis, Jacob Rogers, and now Cameron DeVeronica, amongst too many others, will never get that opportunity again. Bullying needs to be treated as the hate crime that it is.
There's been a facebook page set up in her honor. A place for remembering, and for healing. Follow the link, check it out, and "like" it. Show your continued support for this effort. Do everything you can think of doing, then do a little more. Enough really is enough.
Rest in Peace, Cameron Lee DeVeronica.
Meanwhile, hundreds of her schoolmates took to the streets with their own effort to end the madness and bring about change. Said one student, "...there's so much that can be done, and there's so much that could've been done previously to prevent this...and, so much more that should be done." We need more people like him, young and old, to start stepping up.
How many more young lives do we have to lose before everybody from the Highest Office on down see this for exactly what it is: an epidemic. The rollcall for this year's young lives lost to suicide is staggering. And, the year isn't over.
Kudos to the students of Spencerport High School who joined the battle cry of "enough is enough" and took to the streets. Rest when and if you need to, but never give this fight. We need more warriors like you, more voices like Jonah Mowry's, and a more concerted effort by our leaders in order to bring about the changes that will matter.
Bullying should not be punished by detention. Detention means they eventually get to go back to school. Jamie Hubley, Ben Lewis, Jacob Rogers, and now Cameron DeVeronica, amongst too many others, will never get that opportunity again. Bullying needs to be treated as the hate crime that it is.
There's been a facebook page set up in her honor. A place for remembering, and for healing. Follow the link, check it out, and "like" it. Show your continued support for this effort. Do everything you can think of doing, then do a little more. Enough really is enough.
Rest in Peace, Cameron Lee DeVeronica.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Clearing the Air
I was heartbroken to read of Jacob Rogers' suicide. Another young life...gone. I was also a little more than "a little upset" to read that, in the end, Jacob felt ignored, that no one would help him, that no one "would listen and stand up for him". I was a little more than upset because that's the message I've been trying to convey as the Jonahmania train sped away from the station. I've been trying to get the point(s) across that 1.) Jonah told us 4 months again that he's ok, and he is; and, 2.) there are millions and millions more just like him all around the world, and some most likely right in our own backyards who could use just a fraction of the outpouring of love that Jonah has received. Jacob Rogers was very obviously one such teen.
I voiced my opinion strongly in the blog entry about Jacob. Not everyone agreed. I accept that. I actually applaud that. But, I thought it would be a good idea to backtrack a step or two and clear the air.
I voiced my opinion strongly in the blog entry about Jacob. Not everyone agreed. I accept that. I actually applaud that. But, I thought it would be a good idea to backtrack a step or two and clear the air.
- First and foremost, I don't take anything away from Jonah Mowry. I think he's a remarkable young man. And, for the record, he really is doing just fine. He's being a normal 14 year old goofball. I know because I read his tweets every day. The original video really was 4 months ago.
- I truly am overjoyed that Jonah has put a living face on an issue that most of us had only heard about once it was too late. And, to be sure, that was the magnet that drew millions to him. Bravo to you, Jonah. The issue of bullying and its effects now have a floodlight shining on it because of you.
- I am, in fact, worn out from the continued gushing to Jonah. And, that has nothing to do with Jonah and EVERYTHING to do with we as a people. Perhaps people are still gushing because on some level it helps them shed the guilt of having turned a blind eye to this not-so-new epidemic we have until his video. Perhaps there are folks who are feeling that, by doing this tremendous act of compassion (and, it truly is just that!), they are doing their part to change that culture. They're not. They're force-feeding someone who appetite has already been sated while ignoring millions right around him who are starving to death.
- One hundred and thirty PLUS facebook Jonah support groups (at last count, which was 24 hours ago); 7,000,000+ views to the first video, and 900,000 MORE views of a copycat release of the same video, plus too many video responses for me to bother counting at this moment; 300,000+ comments to the original videos, MILLIONS of comments to the two subsequent ones, and another 19,000 on the copycat release, and a never-ending stream of brand new "supporters" for a 14 year old gay teen who told the world through haunting tears 4 months ago that he was hurting, he was scared, but that he was going to be alright amounts to overkill.
- Don't shoot the messenger: whereas this is wholeheartedly MY opinion, his own mother has gone on national news to say the same thing...THREE days ago!
To be clear, when I watched the video for the first time, I cried. I cried painful tears. I was Jonah. I was beyond Jonah. He's been called hurtful names. As a 12 year old gay kid, I was beaten to a bloody pulp. That video touched the heart of that broken 12 year old. I understand the emotion of the video wholeheartedly. And, I understand the support it received. However, I also understand that this issue goes far, far beyond Jonah Mowry. It's been here long before he was born and, unless and until we start demanding change, it will be here long after he's gone. Jacob Rogers needed just a fraction of the support everyone rushed to give Jonah. It would've kept him alive.
It would've kept him alive.
Apparently, Jacob came from an impoverished family who has already said that they can't afford to have a proper funeral for him. You can make a difference. The link at the top of this article will lead you to the original news article about Jacob's suicide. At the bottom of that article is information on how you can donate to help cover the cost of the funeral. Now, THAT'S supporting the cause.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Rest In Peace Jacob Rogers 12/07/2011 (Yet ANOTHER Victim of Bullycide!!)
This is the point I've been trying to get across as the world was engaging in Jonahmania. While all of the attention and adoration is being thrust upon Jonah Mowry, there were still millions of struggling teens around the world who needed just a fraction of that attention. Just a fraction.
Just a fraction may have saved Jacob Rogers' life. Today, he ended that young life because he just couldn't deal with being bullied any more. In fact, he'd already dropped out of his senior year of high school because it had become a nightmare for him.
According to his best friend, Jacob felt like he was ignored, that no one was helping him. Left alone with his pain, he did what far too many young people before him has done: he ended the torture himself.
My prayer is that we as a loving, caring people get past the Jonah mania and remember that there are millions of kids in the world who are struggling just like that 13 year old boy that the world fell in love with over the weekend of December 2nd. That boy is now doing just fine. However, we just lost another one who "felt ignored" and couldn't handle the bullying anymore.
Rest in peace, Jacob Rogers. "If only I'd known your name..."
Just a fraction may have saved Jacob Rogers' life. Today, he ended that young life because he just couldn't deal with being bullied any more. In fact, he'd already dropped out of his senior year of high school because it had become a nightmare for him.
According to his best friend, Jacob felt like he was ignored, that no one was helping him. Left alone with his pain, he did what far too many young people before him has done: he ended the torture himself.
My prayer is that we as a loving, caring people get past the Jonah mania and remember that there are millions of kids in the world who are struggling just like that 13 year old boy that the world fell in love with over the weekend of December 2nd. That boy is now doing just fine. However, we just lost another one who "felt ignored" and couldn't handle the bullying anymore.
Rest in peace, Jacob Rogers. "If only I'd known your name..."
How To Tell The Difference Between A Cry for Help and Crying Wolf
A very dear friend and relative of a recent suicide victim suggested to me that I should write about the hazard of crying wolf. Good idea, I thought. She was inspired by the occasional posts from young people bluffing or "crying wolf". And, to be sure, I've personally witnessed a boy who, in private chat sessions with myself and another friend, talked very strongly about ending his life while simultaneously yucking it up with friends on a couple other pages. In addition to that, I've personally had several instances where someone was talking serious suicidal talk yet became infuriated when people tried to step in and intervene. What's the answer?
The fact of the matter is if we're serious about saving lives, if we're really dedicated to seeing the number of teen and gay-teen suicides decrease dramatically, we have to look at each individual threat equally. We have to consider that every single time someone speaks of "ending it", there's a crisis that needs immediate attention...whether that person "wants" help or not. I know that I am personally not trained to be able to distinguish the real threats from the ones "crying wolf". And, I'd go as far as to say very few of us are. As annoying as it can be dealing with someone who's simply crying wolf (and, trust me, being cussed out, called names, and belittled for your efforts can definitely be annoying!), I think it's essential for everyone to remember that even their lashing out is a huge, bright-red flag.
The bottom line is that we have to take every single threat seriously. And, since precious few of us are professionals in this field, having readily available resources in times of crisis is essential. The Glendon Association provides a lot of valuable information and other links. Also, I would think that knowing the warning signs of teen suicide is also crucial.
The unfortunately high number of high-profile teen suicides over the past few months has brought needed attention to the severity of the situation. Jonah Mowry's painful video of strength and courage intensified the spotlight. Now, it's up to us, the compassionate ones seeking to make a difference, to be prepared when the moment arises. And, trust me, it will.
The fact of the matter is if we're serious about saving lives, if we're really dedicated to seeing the number of teen and gay-teen suicides decrease dramatically, we have to look at each individual threat equally. We have to consider that every single time someone speaks of "ending it", there's a crisis that needs immediate attention...whether that person "wants" help or not. I know that I am personally not trained to be able to distinguish the real threats from the ones "crying wolf". And, I'd go as far as to say very few of us are. As annoying as it can be dealing with someone who's simply crying wolf (and, trust me, being cussed out, called names, and belittled for your efforts can definitely be annoying!), I think it's essential for everyone to remember that even their lashing out is a huge, bright-red flag.
The bottom line is that we have to take every single threat seriously. And, since precious few of us are professionals in this field, having readily available resources in times of crisis is essential. The Glendon Association provides a lot of valuable information and other links. Also, I would think that knowing the warning signs of teen suicide is also crucial.
The unfortunately high number of high-profile teen suicides over the past few months has brought needed attention to the severity of the situation. Jonah Mowry's painful video of strength and courage intensified the spotlight. Now, it's up to us, the compassionate ones seeking to make a difference, to be prepared when the moment arises. And, trust me, it will.
Nothing at All
In this day and age, it's hard to believe that there are still four states, incredibly, that has NO anti-bullying law on their books whatsoever!! There's nothing in place to protect the most vulnerable ones. Those states would be Michigan (big surprise there), Montana, North, and South Dakota.
Michigan, you may recall, was the state that tried to pass an anti-bullying bill with a clause in it that would've given a free pass to those who bullied because of "sincere moral and/or religious beliefs". And, if that was your first time reading about that, fear not: we banded together, got a petition signed by tens of thousands, and had THAT clause taken out of the bill. (They don't get to legally bully in the name of God) Michigan is also the state where the mayor of one of their cities, Troy to be exact, admitted to making gay slurs on her facebook page. Apparently, the hearts of the legislators are as cold as Michigan's weather.
And, as for the Dakotas and Montana, possibly the thinking is that there just isn't a large enough population to warrant such measures. (the CITY of San Francisco has a larger population that the STATE of N. Dakota!) Just thinking out loud. Maybe that isn't that at all. Maybe they just don't care. I don't know the answer. What I do know is that if having anti-bullying laws in place will help even one person, there's a need for them to be on the books.
(UPDATE)
Of the four states I just mentioned, only South Dakota remains as the only one with no laws in place whatsoever. North Dakota has just passed their and requires their schools to have policies in place by June 2012. Montana has a very vague "referral" program in place. And, Michigan, ah yes Michigan. If you are interested in the anti-bullying laws in your state, and I think everyone should be, here's an interactive map with that information.
Michigan, you may recall, was the state that tried to pass an anti-bullying bill with a clause in it that would've given a free pass to those who bullied because of "sincere moral and/or religious beliefs". And, if that was your first time reading about that, fear not: we banded together, got a petition signed by tens of thousands, and had THAT clause taken out of the bill. (They don't get to legally bully in the name of God) Michigan is also the state where the mayor of one of their cities, Troy to be exact, admitted to making gay slurs on her facebook page. Apparently, the hearts of the legislators are as cold as Michigan's weather.
And, as for the Dakotas and Montana, possibly the thinking is that there just isn't a large enough population to warrant such measures. (the CITY of San Francisco has a larger population that the STATE of N. Dakota!) Just thinking out loud. Maybe that isn't that at all. Maybe they just don't care. I don't know the answer. What I do know is that if having anti-bullying laws in place will help even one person, there's a need for them to be on the books.
(UPDATE)
Of the four states I just mentioned, only South Dakota remains as the only one with no laws in place whatsoever. North Dakota has just passed their and requires their schools to have policies in place by June 2012. Montana has a very vague "referral" program in place. And, Michigan, ah yes Michigan. If you are interested in the anti-bullying laws in your state, and I think everyone should be, here's an interactive map with that information.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Making Sense of The Jonah Phenomena
Well, this has certainly been a phenomenal past few days. First came the "cry for help" that pulled the heartstrings of nearly 6,000,000 viewers (and, counting) worldwide; then came the "thank you" video; then came another "thank you" video that led people to start the rumor mill questioning the validity of the first video. Really? There are haters, and then there are idiots. The raw emotion of that first video can not be faked even by the best of actors.
On facebook, there are currently over 130 Jonah Mowry support groups! The membership ranges from 1 member (quite a few of those) to over 35,000.
Anyway, you're getting the point. The groundswell of support has been overwhelming, even for Jonah and his family. His mother released a letter basically pleading to the masses to remove her teen-aged son's name from all of these "support" pages. After all, as I've pointed out before, Jonah is but one person who's had to endure this. It's something I've been trying to draw attention to most of my adult life. Jonah courageously put a face on the issue, and we're all grateful for it; however, this struggle didn't begin with Jonah, and it certainly won't end with him. As we've collectively rushed to his aid, offering our support and words of encouragement, rest assured that there were far too many more, during that same time period, who didn't get the publicity that Jonah received. And, out of that group, there's no doubt that we lost a few who just couldn't take it any more.
What this all means is that while Jonah's video has brought the world's attention to the issue of teen bullying, and the intolerance and hatred that fuels it, we need to seize the moment. This is the moment we can really make an impact! If we can convert even half of the "Jonah supporters" to supporters to the larger issue, the one that affects millions of "Jonahs" worldwide EVERYDAY, then the video truly was a smashing success!
As for the bullying Jonah spoke of, the bullying that is claiming the lives of too many of your children, a stronger more determined and focused effort needs to be made if we're to change this. Report any and all bullying that you encounter. Encourage others to do the same. Keep the link so that you can share it with others. That's a good place to start. Oh, and be kind...to someone you DON'T know.
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