Maybe I should just start using the wifi at home. That way, I can keep my emotions private. Reading this story brought tears. Happy tears. Sad tears.
Thank the God of your understanding for today's online social network. It's saving lives! Across the ocean, in a place called Melksham, in the United Kingdom, sat a forlorn 16-year-old named Luke. Luke, seemingly, was ready to throw in the towel. He told the world of his plans on his tumblr account. Pills. He had already taken a handful and was prepared to take more. He wanted to die.
Incredibly, according to Luke, in response to his desperate cry for help, he received lots of "hate" comments and, worse, other teens encouraging him to "go ahead and do it". Already clearly despondent, this only served to make matters worse. Who's raising these kids!? We just are not born with that level of hatred. It's taught, and learned. Luckily, however, one compassionate teen was struck by the plea and took action. From over 3,000 miles and an ocean away!
Fourteen-year-old Paige Dayal, from Newmarket, Canada, was deeply troubled by what she had read and was moved to action. I know from personal experience that attempting to reach out to someone in another country is cumbersome, at best. Sometimes, it's downright maddening. Paige persisted. Running into roadblock after roadblock only strengthened her determination. "What if he's really going to try and hurt himself" was her thought process. And, that's the only thought process to have in a situation like this.
Eventually, she was able to contact a police department near where young Luke lived. They arrived at his door in time, and the story had a happy ending. Luke was taken to the hospital and is apparently doing fine now. Once at the hospital, he pulled up his tumblr account once again, this time to "thank the girl in Canada" who potentially saved his life.
According to the news release I read, Paige has never been the victim of bullying. However, like any person of compassion around the world, she realizes what going on today with the issue and how lives are being lost because of it. Knowing that teen suicide is a real issue today, she understood that she had to take action on behalf of a boy she didn't know from a country over 3,000 miles, and a whole lot of water!, away.
With the exception of the incredibly insensitive, inhumane, cruelty he received as a response to his cry for help, it appears that bullying wasn't the issue with Luke, either. It was depression. A depression so deep that he wanted to die. A depression that his own mother and father didn't even know was there. They know about it now. Luke is getting the help he desperately needs. And, thankfully, all medications are now kept locked away.
What this shows concretely is that one person absolutely can make a difference. One person caring about another human being, whether we know them or not, whether their in our circle of friends or an ocean away, can save a life. We never know when we will run across that situation in our own lives. But, chances are, if we all pay attention closely enough, at some point we all will. Paige made a difference. Luke's alive to thank her for it. It doesn't get better than that.
So, instead of having to be the bearer of yet another heartbreaking story of one more teen who ended their life before it had a chance to develop, I get to write another happy-ending story. I love those.
On second thought, I'll keep going to my local diner with the wifi hotspot. People need to see how real this truly is.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Historic Moment
While we're enjoying a moment of relative calm, and I'm knocking on wood as I say that, I figured this is a good time to do a little reflecting. And, sharing.
We're in a time period right here and now that I've been dreaming about since I was a much younger man. I've always said that the only way things were ever going to change would be for every gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trangender person to come out of the closet and make themselves known. That day is here. We're coming out at the workplace; we're coming out in middle and high school. And, our voices are resonating around the globe. It's a beautiful day.
Of course, it isn't coming without resistance from "the other side". That just means that we're doing something right! We're standing up and telling the world that we are no less equal than anyone else. And, it's scaring the hell out of "them". That's fine. Change scares people.
And, of course, there's still a lot of work to be done. The issue of bullying and LGBT teen suicide is a black eye on the face of this, the new Civil Rights movement. Slowly but surely, as more and more people are standing up to be counted, changes are being made even on that sore spot. In some cases, sadly, the change isn't coming fast enough.
We're at an exciting time in our history. Not just LGBT history! History, period!! Within the next 10-15 years, marriage equality will be the norm. The LGBT teen suicide will be next-to-nil because the changing environment will no longer tell them that they're freaks, sick, or damaged. It will embrace them. At the very least, it will accept them. What a major boost to their collective self-esteem that will be. We're on the forefront of that movement right here, right now. And, years down the road, people will look back upon this time as the turning point, the point in time where we stood up and told the world ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, and made them listen. And, there will be names that will stand out.
Kevin "Kel" O'Neil has created a monster of a facebook community, and website, that is truly changing and saving lives!
Lyndsay Winegarden created a safe haven for at-risk teens in her effort to STOP Teenage Suicide. That's no small feat.
Charity Smith created a forum for people to come out anonymously. How huge is that!? That's a major step for many people.
When Jamie Hubley committed suicide in October 2011, several tribute pages popped up on facebook in his honor. One in particular, though, has morphed into the most loving and caring support community online. People there know each other by name. When people have struggles, there's always, always, always people there ready to rush to their assistance. Amazing.
Young people are coming forward bravely and very effectively and reaching out to their peers in an effort to make a difference. Brett Simpson created a video encouraging other teens to contact him personally if they needed someone to talk to or if they were struggling. Not satisfied with that, he turned his personal social network page into a support community AND started a second one. The response to both has been nothing short of phenomenal.
Jonah Mowry is part of a group of teens who have decided to take the matter of bullying, as well as their future as LGBT teens, into their own hands. They are organizing what they're calling the Monster March Against Bullying, with the goal of having tens of thousands of teens from all over the country (world?) march with them to San Francisco's City Hall in October. That's incredible stuff!
Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while know that it was Jamie Hubley's suicide that made me decide to roll up my sleeves and get involved in trying to make a difference. This blog was created, and will always be written, in his honor. He gave me my true voice. And, since its inception on November 7th, I've been humbled by the response it has received. It's being read by hundreds, and sometimes thousands, per day. More importantly, it's making a difference in people's lives. That wouldn't be happening, however, without every single one of you who are reading these words right now! You read it; you respond to it by way of your comments and emails; and, you get involved when it's called upon you to do so. So, it's actually YOU who are making the difference!!
Together, we are changing history!! I've dreamed of this historic moment forever.
We're in a time period right here and now that I've been dreaming about since I was a much younger man. I've always said that the only way things were ever going to change would be for every gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trangender person to come out of the closet and make themselves known. That day is here. We're coming out at the workplace; we're coming out in middle and high school. And, our voices are resonating around the globe. It's a beautiful day.
Of course, it isn't coming without resistance from "the other side". That just means that we're doing something right! We're standing up and telling the world that we are no less equal than anyone else. And, it's scaring the hell out of "them". That's fine. Change scares people.
And, of course, there's still a lot of work to be done. The issue of bullying and LGBT teen suicide is a black eye on the face of this, the new Civil Rights movement. Slowly but surely, as more and more people are standing up to be counted, changes are being made even on that sore spot. In some cases, sadly, the change isn't coming fast enough.
We're at an exciting time in our history. Not just LGBT history! History, period!! Within the next 10-15 years, marriage equality will be the norm. The LGBT teen suicide will be next-to-nil because the changing environment will no longer tell them that they're freaks, sick, or damaged. It will embrace them. At the very least, it will accept them. What a major boost to their collective self-esteem that will be. We're on the forefront of that movement right here, right now. And, years down the road, people will look back upon this time as the turning point, the point in time where we stood up and told the world ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, and made them listen. And, there will be names that will stand out.
Kevin "Kel" O'Neil has created a monster of a facebook community, and website, that is truly changing and saving lives!
Lyndsay Winegarden created a safe haven for at-risk teens in her effort to STOP Teenage Suicide. That's no small feat.
Charity Smith created a forum for people to come out anonymously. How huge is that!? That's a major step for many people.
When Jamie Hubley committed suicide in October 2011, several tribute pages popped up on facebook in his honor. One in particular, though, has morphed into the most loving and caring support community online. People there know each other by name. When people have struggles, there's always, always, always people there ready to rush to their assistance. Amazing.
Young people are coming forward bravely and very effectively and reaching out to their peers in an effort to make a difference. Brett Simpson created a video encouraging other teens to contact him personally if they needed someone to talk to or if they were struggling. Not satisfied with that, he turned his personal social network page into a support community AND started a second one. The response to both has been nothing short of phenomenal.
Jonah Mowry is part of a group of teens who have decided to take the matter of bullying, as well as their future as LGBT teens, into their own hands. They are organizing what they're calling the Monster March Against Bullying, with the goal of having tens of thousands of teens from all over the country (world?) march with them to San Francisco's City Hall in October. That's incredible stuff!
Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while know that it was Jamie Hubley's suicide that made me decide to roll up my sleeves and get involved in trying to make a difference. This blog was created, and will always be written, in his honor. He gave me my true voice. And, since its inception on November 7th, I've been humbled by the response it has received. It's being read by hundreds, and sometimes thousands, per day. More importantly, it's making a difference in people's lives. That wouldn't be happening, however, without every single one of you who are reading these words right now! You read it; you respond to it by way of your comments and emails; and, you get involved when it's called upon you to do so. So, it's actually YOU who are making the difference!!
Together, we are changing history!! I've dreamed of this historic moment forever.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Monster March Against Bullying
I think my favorite line from their "info" section is:
The video attached to the email was the clencher. Sixteen-year-old Liane, makes a very strong case for everyone to get involved by driving home the question "What are you waiting for?" She had just lost a friend to suicide at the time she recorded the video. The pain, the anguish!, is very visible on her face. And, that pain isn't isolated. That pain and anguish is, sadly, shared all over the world every single day as yet another teenager ends their own life.
So, my question is the same: What ARE you waiting for? Every 18 minutes, another teenager ends his or her life. And, for every successful suicide attempt, there's 25 others who THANKFULLY didn't success. We've got an epidemic. But, you don't need me to tell you that. I think that much is crystal clear. What I do need to remind people, I feel, is that there's still lots and lots of work that needs to be done before we're able to claim victory. Worse, rest assured that for everyone of "us" who are working hard and long to make a difference, there's just as many if not more of "them" working just as hard and long to negate all of our efforts.
We will win this hard-fought battle. I have complete confidence in that and can say it with 100% conviction. However, the victory will not come without a long of hands-on effort. And, what will, in the end, make the biggest difference will be teens, like Brett Simpson, like Christi O'Connor standing firm as they say to "The Establishment" ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! Let's do our part in making this Monster March Against Bullying an overwhelming success! "Like" their facebook page. Watch the video. Share both as often as you can. The world is changing, and Christi O'Connor is right at the forefront of that change.
While parents, school officials and politicians keep imposing well intended rules and policies, we teenagers know real change... starts with us.My smile was ear-to-ear! Christi O'Connor, of San Francisco, sent me an email last week telling me about their Monster March Against Bullying to be held in the City By The Bay in October (no specific date given yet) in hope that I would help her spread the word. And, of course, that's exactly what I'm going to do. So far, in my opinion, this is the single greatest thing I've seen emerge in our collective struggle to bring an end to the bullying and help end the teen suicides, gay and straight alike.
The Monster March is a teen-created and teen-led protest marking a critical responsibility shift in solving our nation's deadly bullying problem. This October, more than 10,000 of us teens from across the nation and around the world will march through the streets of San Francisco in what we plan to make "The Largest Teen Protest In History." We will draw unprecedented awareness as we step into our power and claim our role in creating and putting into action our anti bullying solutions only teenagers can ensure work.So, who is Christi O'Connor? I can't answer that in any other way than to say that she's a driven teen who's on a mission to make a huge difference in the lives of the teens who are bullied, to the families and friends of those who have committed suicide because of bullying. Read her email to me for yourself:
Ron,
I’ve read a lot of what you write on bullying. Thank you. I’m the founder of the national youth led Monster March Against Bullying with The Rodemeyers, The Mowrys and many other bullying families behind our teens. Last Monday, we flew five headline making bullying families and many teens from around the country to help launch The Monster March.
We would love your help spreading the news of our teens’ invite to Lady Gaga and to President Obama to be at our 10,000 teen march against bullying in San Francisco this October. If you can ask all your followers to Tweet both letting them know your fans want both to join us, it will boost our profile and more teens will join us. The October march is just the celebratory finale of our teens’ year long campaign of projects they’re leading online, in classrooms and everywhere they can influence peers.
They want to recruit every teen they can.
Check out our FB page and our “Top 10 Teen Solutions” list. We change it every two weeks pushing to the top, the best in that time frame.
Also everything we have in our “Photos.”
Our teens include best friends and siblings of bullied teens from all over the country who’ve killed themselves. These teens are committed (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVzNKZpqDDo)
Go to http://www.facebook.com/youthvoicetv
Warmly,
Christi O’ConnorAmazing stuff. And, she has a point: for all the work we adults do, or try to do, to end this madness, ultimately it will be up to them, the teens, to take matters in their own hands and say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"!!! That message coming from us, the concerned citizens, adults, and parents, carries some weight. Things ARE happening albeit slowly. However, that same message coming from THOUSANDS of teens is going to be impossible to ignore. Add to their cause such influential, anti-bullying people as Lady Gaga and President Barack Obama, and the entire WORLD will have no choice but to stand up and take notice. (disclaimer: as of this writing, invitations have been sent to Lady Gaga and the POTUS. It's not confirmed, yet, that either will be in attendance. Let's keep our fingers crossed.) The family of Jamey Rodemeyer will be there in support of the Monster March Against Bullying, as will Jonah Mowry and his family. I'm hoping that, by the time October rolls into San Francisco, many more family and friends of victims of bullying will be there in attendance.
Founder “The Monster March Against Bullying”
The video attached to the email was the clencher. Sixteen-year-old Liane, makes a very strong case for everyone to get involved by driving home the question "What are you waiting for?" She had just lost a friend to suicide at the time she recorded the video. The pain, the anguish!, is very visible on her face. And, that pain isn't isolated. That pain and anguish is, sadly, shared all over the world every single day as yet another teenager ends their own life.
So, my question is the same: What ARE you waiting for? Every 18 minutes, another teenager ends his or her life. And, for every successful suicide attempt, there's 25 others who THANKFULLY didn't success. We've got an epidemic. But, you don't need me to tell you that. I think that much is crystal clear. What I do need to remind people, I feel, is that there's still lots and lots of work that needs to be done before we're able to claim victory. Worse, rest assured that for everyone of "us" who are working hard and long to make a difference, there's just as many if not more of "them" working just as hard and long to negate all of our efforts.
We will win this hard-fought battle. I have complete confidence in that and can say it with 100% conviction. However, the victory will not come without a long of hands-on effort. And, what will, in the end, make the biggest difference will be teens, like Brett Simpson, like Christi O'Connor standing firm as they say to "The Establishment" ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! Let's do our part in making this Monster March Against Bullying an overwhelming success! "Like" their facebook page. Watch the video. Share both as often as you can. The world is changing, and Christi O'Connor is right at the forefront of that change.
Following Up on Cody Rogers, LGBT Teen Attacked at Party
Cody Rogers, an 18-year-old LGBT man in Oklahoma, was brutally attacked last weekend at a party attended by friends and a few homophobes. The story took off. There was a silver lining to the story, as well.
Rather than tuck his tail and wilt under the attack, Cody rose to the occasion. Rather than shrink back into the closet and lock the door, Cody was embolded. He set up a facebook page to join the war against ignorance, intolerance, and violence against the LGBT community. The page quickly took off. As of this writing, it already has just under 10,000 members. Most of them are well-wishers, some adding pictures along with the encouraging words. It's been heartwarming watching the encouragement come literally from around the world.
The most important thing to come from this travesty, however, is the fire that's been lit under Cody Rogers. Met head-on with what, until last weekend, was the kind of hatred and nviolence towards the LGBT community he'd only heard of or read about, Cody is now determined to spearhead a movement of change.
In the state he lives, Oklahoma, their federal anti-discrimination laws do not protect the LGBT community. Because of that, his attacker was charged with the laughable crime of simple assault. Such a ridiculous charge could possibly bring him a sentence of cleaning up trash along the highway for a weekend. He couldn't be charged with what he should've been charged with because, in Oklahoma, it's apparently ok to hate members of the LGBT community, to be intolerant towards them, to commit acts of violence against them. That has to be the case; otherwise, there would be laws on the book to protect them. At the very least, they would've been included in the protection of the federal anti-discrimination laws, which would've made last week's unwarranted attack a hate crime. Instead, incredibly, they were excluded.
Cody has started a petition to get the wheels in motion that will bring about change in his state. Remember, this is the same state that, just a month ago, a teacher was going to fail her student for the crime of writing an essay about same-sex marriage. Thanks to your emails, letters, and phone calls!!, that teacher had a change of heart and there was a happy ending to the story. Now, we need those same numbers, and more!, to come to Cody Roger's aid and sign this petition!! Before we knew there was a Cody Rogers in the world, we showed Oklahoma that there is definitely power in numbers. I think they need a reminder.
Rather than tuck his tail and wilt under the attack, Cody rose to the occasion. Rather than shrink back into the closet and lock the door, Cody was embolded. He set up a facebook page to join the war against ignorance, intolerance, and violence against the LGBT community. The page quickly took off. As of this writing, it already has just under 10,000 members. Most of them are well-wishers, some adding pictures along with the encouraging words. It's been heartwarming watching the encouragement come literally from around the world.
The most important thing to come from this travesty, however, is the fire that's been lit under Cody Rogers. Met head-on with what, until last weekend, was the kind of hatred and nviolence towards the LGBT community he'd only heard of or read about, Cody is now determined to spearhead a movement of change.
In the state he lives, Oklahoma, their federal anti-discrimination laws do not protect the LGBT community. Because of that, his attacker was charged with the laughable crime of simple assault. Such a ridiculous charge could possibly bring him a sentence of cleaning up trash along the highway for a weekend. He couldn't be charged with what he should've been charged with because, in Oklahoma, it's apparently ok to hate members of the LGBT community, to be intolerant towards them, to commit acts of violence against them. That has to be the case; otherwise, there would be laws on the book to protect them. At the very least, they would've been included in the protection of the federal anti-discrimination laws, which would've made last week's unwarranted attack a hate crime. Instead, incredibly, they were excluded.
Cody has started a petition to get the wheels in motion that will bring about change in his state. Remember, this is the same state that, just a month ago, a teacher was going to fail her student for the crime of writing an essay about same-sex marriage. Thanks to your emails, letters, and phone calls!!, that teacher had a change of heart and there was a happy ending to the story. Now, we need those same numbers, and more!, to come to Cody Roger's aid and sign this petition!! Before we knew there was a Cody Rogers in the world, we showed Oklahoma that there is definitely power in numbers. I think they need a reminder.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
We Need Voices, Voices, and MORE Voices!!!!
In Maryland today, Gov. Martin O'Malley made history by signing into law the same-sex marriage bill. It goes into effect January 1, 2013. And, before it even has chance to go into effect, before the first same-sex couple has the chance to tie the knot, the opponents are already in high-gear to get the law repealed.
Over the weekend, 18-year-old Cody Rogers was savagely attacked in a homophobic rage. The only provocation was that he was who he is: a gay man.
Stacey Campfield is STILL trying to pass legislation that would effectively legalize discrimination against the LGBT community, putting more LGBT teens at risk.
In that same state, Tennessee, a school principal resigns under pressure after telling gay students that they're going to Hell! A SCHOOL PRINCIPAL!!!
Newt Gingrich makes the assinine statement that TEACHERS are to blame for same-sex marriages!!!
ENOUGH!!
Understand that that's just the short list. I could go on and on and on ad nauseum. The point I'm making should be clear: the atmosphere of hatred and intolerance (and, ignorance) is very far-reaching. With all of this lack of acceptance, bigotry, and utter ignorance, it's no wonder we're seeing so many LGBT teen suicides; it's no wonder that a Cody Rogers can't go to a party without fear of being attacked simply because of who he is. The hatred is being taught by lawmakers, teachers, religious leaders, and in some cases parents.
Just moments ago, I was talking to an 18-year-old LGBT man who is trying to make a difference. He had a girl he was talking to who was being bullied and wanted help making it stop. She told her mother. Her mother didn't listen. She told her teacher. (S)he didn't listen. NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION!!! Yet, as soon as one of these young people take their life, there's the redundant outcry of "THIS HAS TO END!!" Damn right this has to end, but what are we doing to make that happen?
People are denying, or attempting to deny, the LGBT community everything from the right to marry the person they love to equal protection under the law. To be sure, Cody Rogers' attacker was charged with simple assault for the very brutal and savage beating that Cody endured. Why? Because, in Oklahoma, sexual orientation isn't protected under their hate crime laws. How is this even possible in this country in 2012!? Do you want to know how? I will tell you. It is possible because we, as a community, allow it to happen. Plain and simple.
Don't misunderstand what I'm saying: we, the LGBT community, and society as a whole, are making enormous strides in the right direction, which is equality for ALL. At the same time, it is my opinion that more can be done. Lots more.
What's needed is we need to keep increasing our numbers in the battle to win equality, in the war against bullying, and in the attempt to end this plight of LGBT teen suicides. Since the time I got actively involved, I've witnessed amazing growth in numbers, and I've seen some great things come from it. We can never be complacent. There's always more to be done. Why? Because for every gain we achieve, "they" are lining up to take it away from us.
We need voices, voices, and more voices. Are you signing petitions when they come around? Are you speaking out against the hatred and intolerance? Are you supporting the Cody Rogerses of the world? That's what we need. We need voices. As the poisoned, culturally crippled faction try to undo everything we accomplish, we need to meet and at least double their numbers. It would be a travesty of justice, not to mention just plain wrong, if "they" were to win in Maryland and get this new same-sex marriage law reverse even before the first couple gets to marry. We can make sure that doesn't happen. As has been proven over the course of history, and as has been witnessed right here within the community of this very blog, there IS power in numbers.
Listen, we will win this battle. I have no doubt about that whatsoever. All around us, culture is changing. People's attitudes are changing. Twenty-five years from now, there will be marriage equality from coast-to-coast and, most likely, around the world. The social climate towards the LGBT community will have shifted to a point where gay and lesbian teens won't feel such a sense of hopelessness that they feel they have to end their life. That's coming! I have no doubt about that. However, in the here and now, we still have plenty of work to do in order to get to that day. I recall being a young man in San Francisco during the height of the AIDS epidemic there. I remember watching friends die, literally, on a daily basis. I became active with a group called ACT-UP. My bosses were gay, yet they were very annoyed with me for being a part of such a group. "You're part of the problem!!!" I assured them that they were the problem. See, they had become complacent. They owned their own successful business. They had nice homes and enjoyed a fabulous lifestyle. They had gotten their slice of the American pie, and they were satisfied. The rest of the world be damned. Sadly, within the next 6 months, all three of them had succumbed to the very scourge that I laid my body in the middle of the street for in effort to bring more attention to.
Don't become complacent. Stay connected; be involved. We need your voice.
Over the weekend, 18-year-old Cody Rogers was savagely attacked in a homophobic rage. The only provocation was that he was who he is: a gay man.
Stacey Campfield is STILL trying to pass legislation that would effectively legalize discrimination against the LGBT community, putting more LGBT teens at risk.
In that same state, Tennessee, a school principal resigns under pressure after telling gay students that they're going to Hell! A SCHOOL PRINCIPAL!!!
Newt Gingrich makes the assinine statement that TEACHERS are to blame for same-sex marriages!!!
ENOUGH!!
Understand that that's just the short list. I could go on and on and on ad nauseum. The point I'm making should be clear: the atmosphere of hatred and intolerance (and, ignorance) is very far-reaching. With all of this lack of acceptance, bigotry, and utter ignorance, it's no wonder we're seeing so many LGBT teen suicides; it's no wonder that a Cody Rogers can't go to a party without fear of being attacked simply because of who he is. The hatred is being taught by lawmakers, teachers, religious leaders, and in some cases parents.
Just moments ago, I was talking to an 18-year-old LGBT man who is trying to make a difference. He had a girl he was talking to who was being bullied and wanted help making it stop. She told her mother. Her mother didn't listen. She told her teacher. (S)he didn't listen. NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION!!! Yet, as soon as one of these young people take their life, there's the redundant outcry of "THIS HAS TO END!!" Damn right this has to end, but what are we doing to make that happen?
People are denying, or attempting to deny, the LGBT community everything from the right to marry the person they love to equal protection under the law. To be sure, Cody Rogers' attacker was charged with simple assault for the very brutal and savage beating that Cody endured. Why? Because, in Oklahoma, sexual orientation isn't protected under their hate crime laws. How is this even possible in this country in 2012!? Do you want to know how? I will tell you. It is possible because we, as a community, allow it to happen. Plain and simple.
Don't misunderstand what I'm saying: we, the LGBT community, and society as a whole, are making enormous strides in the right direction, which is equality for ALL. At the same time, it is my opinion that more can be done. Lots more.
What's needed is we need to keep increasing our numbers in the battle to win equality, in the war against bullying, and in the attempt to end this plight of LGBT teen suicides. Since the time I got actively involved, I've witnessed amazing growth in numbers, and I've seen some great things come from it. We can never be complacent. There's always more to be done. Why? Because for every gain we achieve, "they" are lining up to take it away from us.
We need voices, voices, and more voices. Are you signing petitions when they come around? Are you speaking out against the hatred and intolerance? Are you supporting the Cody Rogerses of the world? That's what we need. We need voices. As the poisoned, culturally crippled faction try to undo everything we accomplish, we need to meet and at least double their numbers. It would be a travesty of justice, not to mention just plain wrong, if "they" were to win in Maryland and get this new same-sex marriage law reverse even before the first couple gets to marry. We can make sure that doesn't happen. As has been proven over the course of history, and as has been witnessed right here within the community of this very blog, there IS power in numbers.
Listen, we will win this battle. I have no doubt about that whatsoever. All around us, culture is changing. People's attitudes are changing. Twenty-five years from now, there will be marriage equality from coast-to-coast and, most likely, around the world. The social climate towards the LGBT community will have shifted to a point where gay and lesbian teens won't feel such a sense of hopelessness that they feel they have to end their life. That's coming! I have no doubt about that. However, in the here and now, we still have plenty of work to do in order to get to that day. I recall being a young man in San Francisco during the height of the AIDS epidemic there. I remember watching friends die, literally, on a daily basis. I became active with a group called ACT-UP. My bosses were gay, yet they were very annoyed with me for being a part of such a group. "You're part of the problem!!!" I assured them that they were the problem. See, they had become complacent. They owned their own successful business. They had nice homes and enjoyed a fabulous lifestyle. They had gotten their slice of the American pie, and they were satisfied. The rest of the world be damned. Sadly, within the next 6 months, all three of them had succumbed to the very scourge that I laid my body in the middle of the street for in effort to bring more attention to.
Don't become complacent. Stay connected; be involved. We need your voice.
Oklahoma Teen Savagely Beaten in anti-Gay Attack
There was a party. Eighteen-year-old Cody Rogers, an LGBT teen, attended along with other of his friends. Also at the party, however, were some violently homophobic teens. It seems that some female attendees of the party had invited their boyfriends. And, that's where the trouble began. Cody says that he could "...hear the homophobic slurs from the other room." When asked to leave, one of the homophobes refused. Instead, he did what any real man would do: He attacked the girl who, presumably, had asked him to leave. With the girl being his friend, Cody went to her rescue. The attack turned on him. He was pushed to the ground by the homophobe and beaten unconscious. Pictures reveal the severity of the attack. It was brutal.
The attackers were charged with simple assault. Simple assault!!! This was a clear-cut hate crime. The homophobic slurs came well before the "simple assault" as well as during it. So why, then, is this classified as a "simple assault"? Simple. Because Oklahoma has no hate crime protection for the LGBT community. So, as was the case with Cody, you can get the shit kicked out of you by some pea-brained homophobic woman beater, have him call you every homophobic slur he can think of while he's committing his crime of pure hate, and the worst thing that will happen to him is he'll get charged with simple assault. That has to change.
It's worth noting that Oklahoma has a lawmaker, (R) Mike Reynolds, himself an elected homophobe, has a history of attempting to pass through anti-LGBT legislation. Just last week, his proposed bill that would've stripped the LGBT community of protection from discrimination was defeated. I have no doubt he'll attempt to re-introduce another, reworded bill that would do the same damage. It's what people of his mentality do.
At a time when the nation, and the world!, has the issue of bullying and anti-LGBT discrimination in the front of their collective minds, we're reminded yet again that there's still lots and lots of work to be done. And, it needs to be said again that for someone as young as Cody's attacker, a fellow teen, to be so violently homophobic, it's obvious that the re-education has to start with the adults. His attacker wasn't born with that level of hatred. No one is.
That level of hatred is taught. It's taught by intolerant politicians who continually attempt to legislate their own prejudices and hatred. It's taught by religious leaders who preach hatred and condemnation in the name of God. (perhaps, before their next sermon, they should meditate on 1 John 4:8). It's passed down from parents who, for whatever reason, has been immersed in intolerance and bigotry. Make no mistake: The cultural shift has, in fact, begun. But, as is evident with the savage beating Cody endured, we've still got a long way to go.
Hats off to Cody! He didn't wilt under the pressure of a brutal attack, an attack brought on simply because of who he is. Instead, he's turning that negative event in his life into a positive. He's chosen to become part of the ever-growing army to fight against hatred and intolerance against people, in general, and the LGBT community in particular. He's launched a facebook page to help stop the brutality. Welcome aboard, Cody. You're an inspiration to many.
The attackers were charged with simple assault. Simple assault!!! This was a clear-cut hate crime. The homophobic slurs came well before the "simple assault" as well as during it. So why, then, is this classified as a "simple assault"? Simple. Because Oklahoma has no hate crime protection for the LGBT community. So, as was the case with Cody, you can get the shit kicked out of you by some pea-brained homophobic woman beater, have him call you every homophobic slur he can think of while he's committing his crime of pure hate, and the worst thing that will happen to him is he'll get charged with simple assault. That has to change.
It's worth noting that Oklahoma has a lawmaker, (R) Mike Reynolds, himself an elected homophobe, has a history of attempting to pass through anti-LGBT legislation. Just last week, his proposed bill that would've stripped the LGBT community of protection from discrimination was defeated. I have no doubt he'll attempt to re-introduce another, reworded bill that would do the same damage. It's what people of his mentality do.
At a time when the nation, and the world!, has the issue of bullying and anti-LGBT discrimination in the front of their collective minds, we're reminded yet again that there's still lots and lots of work to be done. And, it needs to be said again that for someone as young as Cody's attacker, a fellow teen, to be so violently homophobic, it's obvious that the re-education has to start with the adults. His attacker wasn't born with that level of hatred. No one is.
That level of hatred is taught. It's taught by intolerant politicians who continually attempt to legislate their own prejudices and hatred. It's taught by religious leaders who preach hatred and condemnation in the name of God. (perhaps, before their next sermon, they should meditate on 1 John 4:8). It's passed down from parents who, for whatever reason, has been immersed in intolerance and bigotry. Make no mistake: The cultural shift has, in fact, begun. But, as is evident with the savage beating Cody endured, we've still got a long way to go.
Hats off to Cody! He didn't wilt under the pressure of a brutal attack, an attack brought on simply because of who he is. Instead, he's turning that negative event in his life into a positive. He's chosen to become part of the ever-growing army to fight against hatred and intolerance against people, in general, and the LGBT community in particular. He's launched a facebook page to help stop the brutality. Welcome aboard, Cody. You're an inspiration to many.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
More on the Chardon Tragedy
Sadly, a third student has lost his life after yesterday's shooting at an Ohio high school. As expected, as the story continues to unfold, details are emerging, and it's a tightly wound ball of confusion. According to a published report today, the prosecutor, David Joyce, says that bullying wasn't a factor in the shooting, that Thomas "TJ" Lane has admitted to taking the .22 caliber gun, and a knife, into the school Monday morning and randomly shooting his victims. Yet, in an article also released just today, "students say Thomas was shy and targeted by bullies." Again, the pieces of this puzzle are still being sorted and spread across the kitchen table as authorities try to put it all together.
In the court of public opinion, the pendulum has swayed from the "bullying must end" sentiment to the "he's an animal" wrath. The bullying card is apparently still in the deck. And, with all due respect to the victims and their families, (and, with my deepest sympathies and sincerest condolences), the early indication is that TJ is not "an animal", either. Rather, there are apparent deep-rooted mental health issues in play here.
What is emerging is that Thomas Lane is a troubled young man. Tumultuous family life, with his parents divorcing when he was young, and his father spending substantial time behind bars for abusing women, amongst other things, including TJ's mother. One of the things that was pointed out from the beginning was that Lane had been looking into information about depression. Did he WANT help but couldn't find it? That answer is yet to come.
I return to my original assertion that somebody, ANYBODY!, should've taken his tweets from the previous day seriously. He allegedly tweeted that he was going to "bring a gun to school". No one took him seriously. If any one person would've, this could've been prevented. Would've, could've. But, it goes beyond even that. According to news reports, and as stated in the original post, Lane had posted dark status updates to his facebook page that, again, apparently no one paid attention to. Gregg Jantz, a psychologist and mental health author from Seattle, says that Lane's Facebook post from December should have triggered a red flag with any adult who saw it.
I posted this link in an earlier blog post about depression: I think this would be a very effective tool for educating about depression. I believe this program should be implemented in every school across the country, and around the world. There's no way to have enough tools available to fight what's going on with today's youth. That said, I strongly encourage every one to push to get this program implemented in your local schools. If you're parents, if you have younger siblings, if you have friends who could be at risk, wouldn't you feel better knowing that everyone in their school is being educated about depression and how to deal with it? I know it would certainly give me a little peace of mind. It's also a valuable tool to have in the home. Home is absolutely where all of this begins. Unfortunately, "home" failed Thomas Lane. And, as a result, three families must struggle to make sense of the madness that claimed their loved one's life. As a result, the small community of Chardon, Ohio has been changed forever.
Rest in peace:
In the court of public opinion, the pendulum has swayed from the "bullying must end" sentiment to the "he's an animal" wrath. The bullying card is apparently still in the deck. And, with all due respect to the victims and their families, (and, with my deepest sympathies and sincerest condolences), the early indication is that TJ is not "an animal", either. Rather, there are apparent deep-rooted mental health issues in play here.
What is emerging is that Thomas Lane is a troubled young man. Tumultuous family life, with his parents divorcing when he was young, and his father spending substantial time behind bars for abusing women, amongst other things, including TJ's mother. One of the things that was pointed out from the beginning was that Lane had been looking into information about depression. Did he WANT help but couldn't find it? That answer is yet to come.
I return to my original assertion that somebody, ANYBODY!, should've taken his tweets from the previous day seriously. He allegedly tweeted that he was going to "bring a gun to school". No one took him seriously. If any one person would've, this could've been prevented. Would've, could've. But, it goes beyond even that. According to news reports, and as stated in the original post, Lane had posted dark status updates to his facebook page that, again, apparently no one paid attention to. Gregg Jantz, a psychologist and mental health author from Seattle, says that Lane's Facebook post from December should have triggered a red flag with any adult who saw it.
"That kind of writing is warning sign of an impending disaster," Jantz told The Huffington Post. "We don't need anything more. He was forecasting his struggles right there."If we are to avoid tragedies like Chardon High School, if we're to start preventing teen suicides, it's absolutely essential that we pay close attention to what's being said. And, done. There ARE warning signs. It is imperative that every one of us pay attention to the red flags as they pop up. And, they will pop up.
I posted this link in an earlier blog post about depression: I think this would be a very effective tool for educating about depression. I believe this program should be implemented in every school across the country, and around the world. There's no way to have enough tools available to fight what's going on with today's youth. That said, I strongly encourage every one to push to get this program implemented in your local schools. If you're parents, if you have younger siblings, if you have friends who could be at risk, wouldn't you feel better knowing that everyone in their school is being educated about depression and how to deal with it? I know it would certainly give me a little peace of mind. It's also a valuable tool to have in the home. Home is absolutely where all of this begins. Unfortunately, "home" failed Thomas Lane. And, as a result, three families must struggle to make sense of the madness that claimed their loved one's life. As a result, the small community of Chardon, Ohio has been changed forever.
Rest in peace:
- Daniel Parmertor
- Russell King, Jr.
- Demetrius Hewlin
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