Monday, Ashley Duncan didn't go to school. Instead, she used the Internet Sunday and into Monday, her Twitter and Tumblr accounts, to tell anyone who was listening that she was in too much pain to handle alone. No one listened. Friends say they thought she was joking even as she posted a picture of a revolver that she'd "...finally found...". Then, Monday, Ashley, 17, took that newfound revolver and ended her life.
She spoke of being in too much pain. She spoke bluntly: "Life ain't worth all the pain." She spoke of wanting to die "...every minute, second, hour, day, month, year...". No one took that seriously. Now, sadly, she's gone.
I'm involved in several anti-bullying, anti-suicide groups and communities online. It's not unusual at all to read distressing messages from young people. In fact, I read them almost daily. And, in truth, there have been one or two that have raised the suspicion "I wonder if (s)he's serious or just pulling my leg?" In a couple cases, my gut told me that I was just being played with. However, I understand that they could also be serious about it and in a very precarious situation. I take every call for help seriously until I find out otherwise. And, even if then, I'll follow up a couple time just to make sure things are ok. A human life is too precious to do otherwise. Unfortunately, now Ashley's friends will have a lifetime of second-guessing themselves, wondering if they could've been the one to save her life. The answer will never be known.
This won't be the first time I've said this: listening goes such a long way. Not just hearing. I'm hearing a wonderful song being played on the overhead music player right now; however, I'm not listening to it. I'm focused on Ashley Duncan's suicide right now. Listening requires attention. If every one of use can hone the fine art of listening, we can undoubtedly save lives. There's almost always a cry for help before disaster strikes. We have to be able to pay attention, to listen, in order to hear it. If someone had listened to Ashley, she'd be alive today.
Sadly, that's not the case. Sadly, her friends and family now must say goodbye. Rest in peace, Ashley Duncan. You have our attention now. Sorry it came too late.
I always reach out,1 time I called a friend's(facebook friend)home town police department to ask them to do a welfare check,she got so p**ed at me but she never made a joke out of suicide again!! <3
ReplyDeleteI, as well as a couple friends, have had the same thing happen. My thought is that it's totally ok with me if they get upset with me for contacting the proper authorities. The threat of suicide is no joking matter.
DeleteI know alot of people ask and wonder why did the girl ashley duncan kill herself over something as a heartbreak. I understand why she did it, why she felt the way she did, I fully understand it. She saud that u will know where she coming from if u think about death every second,minute,hr,day, week, but i been thinking of killing myself for the last month. I been crying every night, I talk to two of my friends but they basically keep saying the same thing, everything will be okay, it will take time, and honestly it doesnt help. I attempted to kill myself I took a bottle of 50 sleeping pills in hope i didnt wake up but i did. Another thing ashley duncan said was she cant take this pain or deal with it, I understand cause i feel like each day its getting worser, the thought of dieing, the feeling of not being able to feel, not being able to cry, not being able to think about anything to hurt u. Im sick and tried of feeling like this, i want my life to just be over with
DeleteDear Anonymous,
DeletePLEASE email me directly as soon as you read this. I hope you read this before you try to end your life again. If you don't want to email me, PLEASE contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255. My prayers are with you.
Thank you for caring.
ReplyDeleteOur son has severe depression and not once, no matter the time, the place, the sometime inconvenience have we ignored even a tiny breath of "help needed" from him.
Right now he seems to be in a great place but getting to there and staying there is one step one day at a time.
Keep listening always.
Julie
That poor child to feel that way and have no one believe and listen.
ReplyDeleteJust the other day I was telling my son, that we as family's need to accept each other as we are. I have several gay friends and family members and for them they were born into a loving family, who always encouraged them to be proud and happy with who they were. Sometimes when we can accept another as they are ,it then becomes easier for them to accept themselves and thrive in life not just survive. Keep putting out the word, God Bless you
ReplyDeleteSO sad, I dont know how to stop this and it hurts me so bad to hear of this, I really wish we could stop all the Hate and hurt and pain in all these young lives. I want it to stop! I do everything I can to listen and help and be here for everyone, you are a beautiful soul and the world is such a better place with you in it, Thank you for all that you do to help everyone! and I also take it all very serious and would contact the authorities immediately
ReplyDeleteI love this! I am from California and i hear about it the day it happened by randomly scrolling through twitter. It's just insane that she cried for help via not one but TWO extremely popular social networks. My heart breaks that there was a chance that we could have saved her. I've been up late going through her tumblr posts over and over again to try and put two and two together. i wish i could've done something about it. I might not have ever known her and we might be thousands of miles away, but i too feel responsible. I know what its like to juggle a lot of things on your plate and on top of that battle with your sexuality. it's a hard knock life. i just hope this opens up people's eyes.
ReplyDeletePlease BOOK MARK the link below and pass on whenever to who ever! Many have called me and I am so thankful they can come to me and know I am with them. Losing one is one too many.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=220729491285029
*No Rest Till There's Peace ~Wizdom Inks*
i called once on my 30 yr old nephew, took the police 2 1/2 hrs to drive that 5min walking distance and it was too late. he hung himself. RIP tc.
ReplyDeleter.i.p babiee ima miss yhu n always love yhu</3
ReplyDeletesad. This girl was in my science class. I didnt know much about her other than she had a temper...r.i.p. Ash......
ReplyDeleteI know I didnt know her but I felt for her. Not even one soul could put the pieces of the puzzle together. The saddest thing about this tragic story was that she was indeed crying out for help a plea not even one soul to listen. I know what its like to want to give up and take the route she did but God wouldn't let me. Poor baby was brave I just wish her life would have never came to a end like this. Reading the post on her tumblr and twitter sent chills all through my body. Everyone is worth saving wether you know them or not.
ReplyDeleteDear Ashley
Now youre free from your heart ache and pain. May your soul rest in peace and may you rejoice and find happiness in the kingdom of the Lord. I just want you to know that even though at the time you may have felt alone trust me you wasn't. Might have not been there in a physical form but definately there in spirit. It hurts me deeply to know and feel your story and though I don't know you just know I would have tried to save you, give you an ear so you can speak and I listen, or a shoulder to cry on. But rest in peace baby girl you are finally at home with God. If I ever see you when I cross into heaven I will tell you these same words.
# Gone but never forgotten R.I.P. Ashley Duncan
I heard about this tragedy threw several news outlets and online after reading her twitter page i wish i would have saw this way before she posted the gun i would have done all i could to help her after reading her twitter page my heart was very heavy because she was on a daily basis crying out for help and it seem that noone would step up to help her or take the time out to listen to what she was feeling and what she was going threw i feel that if someone would have just took the time out to listen she would still be here today i also read where some of her friends thought she was playing so they didnt think that she would harm herself i wish that people would take the time out to listen to our youth and our younger generation alot of times i feel they can be saved only if someone would take the time out to listen if someone would have just took the time out to listen .she would still be here today my prayers go out to the family and i will continue to keep the Duncan family uplifted in prayer.
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ReplyDeleteI wrote a blog today about Ashley Duncan because i was touched and also shocked that no one did anything to stop her when she clearly needed help. I would like to know what arethe names of the organizations you are from so that i can join as well. We need more people like you out there.
ReplyDeleteR.I.P. ASHLEY DUNCAN