This is the point I've been trying to get across as the world was engaging in Jonahmania. While all of the attention and adoration is being thrust upon Jonah Mowry, there were still millions of struggling teens around the world who needed just a fraction of that attention. Just a fraction.
Just a fraction may have saved Jacob Rogers' life. Today, he ended that young life because he just couldn't deal with being bullied any more. In fact, he'd already dropped out of his senior year of high school because it had become a nightmare for him.
According to his best friend, Jacob felt like he was ignored, that no one was helping him. Left alone with his pain, he did what far too many young people before him has done: he ended the torture himself.
My prayer is that we as a loving, caring people get past the Jonah mania and remember that there are millions of kids in the world who are struggling just like that 13 year old boy that the world fell in love with over the weekend of December 2nd. That boy is now doing just fine. However, we just lost another one who "felt ignored" and couldn't handle the bullying anymore.
Rest in peace, Jacob Rogers. "If only I'd known your name..."
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
How To Tell The Difference Between A Cry for Help and Crying Wolf
A very dear friend and relative of a recent suicide victim suggested to me that I should write about the hazard of crying wolf. Good idea, I thought. She was inspired by the occasional posts from young people bluffing or "crying wolf". And, to be sure, I've personally witnessed a boy who, in private chat sessions with myself and another friend, talked very strongly about ending his life while simultaneously yucking it up with friends on a couple other pages. In addition to that, I've personally had several instances where someone was talking serious suicidal talk yet became infuriated when people tried to step in and intervene. What's the answer?
The fact of the matter is if we're serious about saving lives, if we're really dedicated to seeing the number of teen and gay-teen suicides decrease dramatically, we have to look at each individual threat equally. We have to consider that every single time someone speaks of "ending it", there's a crisis that needs immediate attention...whether that person "wants" help or not. I know that I am personally not trained to be able to distinguish the real threats from the ones "crying wolf". And, I'd go as far as to say very few of us are. As annoying as it can be dealing with someone who's simply crying wolf (and, trust me, being cussed out, called names, and belittled for your efforts can definitely be annoying!), I think it's essential for everyone to remember that even their lashing out is a huge, bright-red flag.
The bottom line is that we have to take every single threat seriously. And, since precious few of us are professionals in this field, having readily available resources in times of crisis is essential. The Glendon Association provides a lot of valuable information and other links. Also, I would think that knowing the warning signs of teen suicide is also crucial.
The unfortunately high number of high-profile teen suicides over the past few months has brought needed attention to the severity of the situation. Jonah Mowry's painful video of strength and courage intensified the spotlight. Now, it's up to us, the compassionate ones seeking to make a difference, to be prepared when the moment arises. And, trust me, it will.
The fact of the matter is if we're serious about saving lives, if we're really dedicated to seeing the number of teen and gay-teen suicides decrease dramatically, we have to look at each individual threat equally. We have to consider that every single time someone speaks of "ending it", there's a crisis that needs immediate attention...whether that person "wants" help or not. I know that I am personally not trained to be able to distinguish the real threats from the ones "crying wolf". And, I'd go as far as to say very few of us are. As annoying as it can be dealing with someone who's simply crying wolf (and, trust me, being cussed out, called names, and belittled for your efforts can definitely be annoying!), I think it's essential for everyone to remember that even their lashing out is a huge, bright-red flag.
The bottom line is that we have to take every single threat seriously. And, since precious few of us are professionals in this field, having readily available resources in times of crisis is essential. The Glendon Association provides a lot of valuable information and other links. Also, I would think that knowing the warning signs of teen suicide is also crucial.
The unfortunately high number of high-profile teen suicides over the past few months has brought needed attention to the severity of the situation. Jonah Mowry's painful video of strength and courage intensified the spotlight. Now, it's up to us, the compassionate ones seeking to make a difference, to be prepared when the moment arises. And, trust me, it will.
Nothing at All
In this day and age, it's hard to believe that there are still four states, incredibly, that has NO anti-bullying law on their books whatsoever!! There's nothing in place to protect the most vulnerable ones. Those states would be Michigan (big surprise there), Montana, North, and South Dakota.
Michigan, you may recall, was the state that tried to pass an anti-bullying bill with a clause in it that would've given a free pass to those who bullied because of "sincere moral and/or religious beliefs". And, if that was your first time reading about that, fear not: we banded together, got a petition signed by tens of thousands, and had THAT clause taken out of the bill. (They don't get to legally bully in the name of God) Michigan is also the state where the mayor of one of their cities, Troy to be exact, admitted to making gay slurs on her facebook page. Apparently, the hearts of the legislators are as cold as Michigan's weather.
And, as for the Dakotas and Montana, possibly the thinking is that there just isn't a large enough population to warrant such measures. (the CITY of San Francisco has a larger population that the STATE of N. Dakota!) Just thinking out loud. Maybe that isn't that at all. Maybe they just don't care. I don't know the answer. What I do know is that if having anti-bullying laws in place will help even one person, there's a need for them to be on the books.
(UPDATE)
Of the four states I just mentioned, only South Dakota remains as the only one with no laws in place whatsoever. North Dakota has just passed their and requires their schools to have policies in place by June 2012. Montana has a very vague "referral" program in place. And, Michigan, ah yes Michigan. If you are interested in the anti-bullying laws in your state, and I think everyone should be, here's an interactive map with that information.
Michigan, you may recall, was the state that tried to pass an anti-bullying bill with a clause in it that would've given a free pass to those who bullied because of "sincere moral and/or religious beliefs". And, if that was your first time reading about that, fear not: we banded together, got a petition signed by tens of thousands, and had THAT clause taken out of the bill. (They don't get to legally bully in the name of God) Michigan is also the state where the mayor of one of their cities, Troy to be exact, admitted to making gay slurs on her facebook page. Apparently, the hearts of the legislators are as cold as Michigan's weather.
And, as for the Dakotas and Montana, possibly the thinking is that there just isn't a large enough population to warrant such measures. (the CITY of San Francisco has a larger population that the STATE of N. Dakota!) Just thinking out loud. Maybe that isn't that at all. Maybe they just don't care. I don't know the answer. What I do know is that if having anti-bullying laws in place will help even one person, there's a need for them to be on the books.
(UPDATE)
Of the four states I just mentioned, only South Dakota remains as the only one with no laws in place whatsoever. North Dakota has just passed their and requires their schools to have policies in place by June 2012. Montana has a very vague "referral" program in place. And, Michigan, ah yes Michigan. If you are interested in the anti-bullying laws in your state, and I think everyone should be, here's an interactive map with that information.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Making Sense of The Jonah Phenomena
Well, this has certainly been a phenomenal past few days. First came the "cry for help" that pulled the heartstrings of nearly 6,000,000 viewers (and, counting) worldwide; then came the "thank you" video; then came another "thank you" video that led people to start the rumor mill questioning the validity of the first video. Really? There are haters, and then there are idiots. The raw emotion of that first video can not be faked even by the best of actors.
On facebook, there are currently over 130 Jonah Mowry support groups! The membership ranges from 1 member (quite a few of those) to over 35,000.
Anyway, you're getting the point. The groundswell of support has been overwhelming, even for Jonah and his family. His mother released a letter basically pleading to the masses to remove her teen-aged son's name from all of these "support" pages. After all, as I've pointed out before, Jonah is but one person who's had to endure this. It's something I've been trying to draw attention to most of my adult life. Jonah courageously put a face on the issue, and we're all grateful for it; however, this struggle didn't begin with Jonah, and it certainly won't end with him. As we've collectively rushed to his aid, offering our support and words of encouragement, rest assured that there were far too many more, during that same time period, who didn't get the publicity that Jonah received. And, out of that group, there's no doubt that we lost a few who just couldn't take it any more.
What this all means is that while Jonah's video has brought the world's attention to the issue of teen bullying, and the intolerance and hatred that fuels it, we need to seize the moment. This is the moment we can really make an impact! If we can convert even half of the "Jonah supporters" to supporters to the larger issue, the one that affects millions of "Jonahs" worldwide EVERYDAY, then the video truly was a smashing success!
As for the bullying Jonah spoke of, the bullying that is claiming the lives of too many of your children, a stronger more determined and focused effort needs to be made if we're to change this. Report any and all bullying that you encounter. Encourage others to do the same. Keep the link so that you can share it with others. That's a good place to start. Oh, and be kind...to someone you DON'T know.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Stepping Up
In the wake of the Jonah Mowry phenomena over the weekend, and the video's massive responses, in response to all of the other Jonah's worldwide, many many people are stepping up their game and getting more closely involved in bringing about change. HOORAY!!!! Isn't that what it's all about?
Jonah is apparently doing well. Jade is, in fact, alive and doing well. However, during the time that the Jonah video has gone viral (roughly 72 hours ago), rest assured that we've lost several more teens, gay and straight alike, to suicide. And, realize that bullying was more than likely at the core of reasoning for most of them. Then, understand that at the core of bullying is ignorance, hatred, and intolerance. Once you've done that, it isn't hard to figure out that raising anti-bullying awareness is absolutely crucial. Keep the momentum going forward. Reach out to someone in need.
Jonah is apparently doing well. Jade is, in fact, alive and doing well. However, during the time that the Jonah video has gone viral (roughly 72 hours ago), rest assured that we've lost several more teens, gay and straight alike, to suicide. And, realize that bullying was more than likely at the core of reasoning for most of them. Then, understand that at the core of bullying is ignorance, hatred, and intolerance. Once you've done that, it isn't hard to figure out that raising anti-bullying awareness is absolutely crucial. Keep the momentum going forward. Reach out to someone in need.
WATCH THE MADNESS AS IT UNFOLDS (UPDATED)
By now, Jonah Mowry is a name known around the globe. I've blogged about him twice, now. We don't really know much about this young man other than he was crying for help and support, and the world responded. The WORLD responded!!
The issue at hand, the reason kids like Jonah are so much at risk, the reason why kids like Jamey Rodemeyer, Dominic Crouch, Ryan Halligan, and on and on and on give up, is primarily because of bullying. (although, often there are other factors involved) Some people still don't understand the depth of the problem. I've seen many, many posts on various social networks where people basically say "suck it up". Well, just to be sure everyone understands the pure vile that these kids have to endure, take a look for yourself at what's going on RIGHT NOW on the facebook support page that was set up just last night!! What we're talking about here goes beyond bullying and stands at the doorstep of criminal behavior. Is there any question left that something HAS to be done NOW to bring this to and end?
(UPDATE)
After posting this, things REALLY got out of hand on the page. So, the creator of the page employed several administrators, and we have since cleaned up the garbage. We also now have a different system in place so that it never happens again. If you were one of the first people to read this blog entry and you clicked the link, you saw some pretty vile things being posted. If you click it now, you'll see just a normal, supportive page...as it was intended. Be glad you missed it.
The issue at hand, the reason kids like Jonah are so much at risk, the reason why kids like Jamey Rodemeyer, Dominic Crouch, Ryan Halligan, and on and on and on give up, is primarily because of bullying. (although, often there are other factors involved) Some people still don't understand the depth of the problem. I've seen many, many posts on various social networks where people basically say "suck it up". Well, just to be sure everyone understands the pure vile that these kids have to endure, take a look for yourself at what's going on RIGHT NOW on the facebook support page that was set up just last night!! What we're talking about here goes beyond bullying and stands at the doorstep of criminal behavior. Is there any question left that something HAS to be done NOW to bring this to and end?
(UPDATE)
After posting this, things REALLY got out of hand on the page. So, the creator of the page employed several administrators, and we have since cleaned up the garbage. We also now have a different system in place so that it never happens again. If you were one of the first people to read this blog entry and you clicked the link, you saw some pretty vile things being posted. If you click it now, you'll see just a normal, supportive page...as it was intended. Be glad you missed it.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
More on Jonah Mowry..and, sadly, Jade (UPDATED)
Less than 24 hours ago, a youtube video of a young gay teen boy crying (literally) for help sparked off a firestorm of support and well-wishers world wide!!! Bravo to the well-over 100,000 people WORLDWIDE who have stepped up to offer their support. Jonah posted a "thank you" video shortly after the support started flowing in. Sadly, however, he's since taken it down. That's probably due to the fact that haters and bullies were posting very nasty things on his youtube channel in response to it, as they're doing on his facebook support page. The struggle continues.
Now is a great time to remind every one of you who reads this that, whereas your support for Jonah has been fantastic and highly applauded, there are many, many more Jonahs in the world who are NOT getting this love and support. And, in MOST CASES, you have at least one right there in your own backyard. All you have to do is look around you. Will you open your heart for him or her as generously as you have for Jonah? I hope so, and I think yes. Jonah's video has increased the awareness that this is a very real, very destructive phenomena occurring worldwide. It has to end. The army of supporters is burgeoning. Now, we all have to do our share, in whatever way that may be, to assure that this ugly chapter in our history as humans comes to an abrupt end.
Sadly, there was a very similar video to the one Jonah made in April of this year. Meet Jade. She didn't make it. She committed suicide three days after making this video. Get involved. Do whatever you can do within your own power and limits. Maybe even stretch your limits a little. The Jamie Hubleys, Jamey Rodemeyers, Dominic Crouches, and the Jades of the world need YOU to help keep them alive.
(UPDATE)
Thank you very much, Sara, for your information. It appears that the information about Jade committing suicide 3 days after making that video is, indeed, erroneous. On November 12, she posted "GuYz 1'm Aliv3". We're glad you're alive, Jade. By no means does this diminish the severity of the problem at hand. I wish that there were more "errors" made in this regard. Unfortunately, the problem is real, and we are losing lives.
Now is a great time to remind every one of you who reads this that, whereas your support for Jonah has been fantastic and highly applauded, there are many, many more Jonahs in the world who are NOT getting this love and support. And, in MOST CASES, you have at least one right there in your own backyard. All you have to do is look around you. Will you open your heart for him or her as generously as you have for Jonah? I hope so, and I think yes. Jonah's video has increased the awareness that this is a very real, very destructive phenomena occurring worldwide. It has to end. The army of supporters is burgeoning. Now, we all have to do our share, in whatever way that may be, to assure that this ugly chapter in our history as humans comes to an abrupt end.
Sadly, there was a very similar video to the one Jonah made in April of this year. Meet Jade. She didn't make it. She committed suicide three days after making this video. Get involved. Do whatever you can do within your own power and limits. Maybe even stretch your limits a little. The Jamie Hubleys, Jamey Rodemeyers, Dominic Crouches, and the Jades of the world need YOU to help keep them alive.
(UPDATE)
Thank you very much, Sara, for your information. It appears that the information about Jade committing suicide 3 days after making that video is, indeed, erroneous. On November 12, she posted "GuYz 1'm Aliv3". We're glad you're alive, Jade. By no means does this diminish the severity of the problem at hand. I wish that there were more "errors" made in this regard. Unfortunately, the problem is real, and we are losing lives.
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