If there's anyone who hasn't figured out yet that this is real, the problem is deep, and lives are being lost because of it, either you're not paying attention or you're living under a boulder. The pain is pervasive, as witnessed by the sheer number of teen suicides today.
Meet Jonah Mowry. Now, I don't know about you, but watching this video ripped my heart from my chest. I'd advise you have tissues handy. See, this is the type of struggle that young gay people are dealing with today. Far too many of them are resorting to suicide as what they feel is their only hope of ridding themselves of the pain. Thankfully, Jonah made the decision that he doesn't want to end his life...he just wants the pain to stop. As a call to your compassion, please reach out to Jonah. Let's help him stick with his decision to work his way through this. Thanks.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Legislated Hatred
See, we really don't have to look too very far to figure out two very important things as we redouble our efforts to combat the atmosphere hatred and intolerance in our country, that same atmosphere that fosters and supports the bullying which leads to suicides: 1.) there's no doubt where these young people get their intolerance and hatred from, as I've been saying; and, 2.) why so many young lgbt teens feel such a sense of despair and lack of self-worth. When you have a PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE denouncing the validity of gay-ism period, and effectively telling a lesbian teen that she is defected, when you have an ELECTED PUBLIC OFFICIAL admitting to making anti-gay slurs on her facebook page, both the bullies and their victims are deeply affected. The bullied gain vindication for their acts of ignorance and violence. They gain the sense that it's ok because they see adults in power denouncing the very people they victimize. Their victims hear, once again, that their lives are essentially invalid. They learn a sense of being lesser-than-whole. They get to see with their own eyes that, according to far-too-many adults (in many cases, adults from their own household), they will never be able to fall in love, marry, and live happily with their chosen spouse.
This is 100% unacceptable, especially in a day and age where we're seeing our young people end their lives because of the intolerance, hatred, and the violence that comes with it..
This is 100% unacceptable, especially in a day and age where we're seeing our young people end their lives because of the intolerance, hatred, and the violence that comes with it..
Friday, December 2, 2011
Remembering a Unicorn
By now, the name Jamie Hubley is known around the world. Well over a hundred thousand people have listened to his videos, left comments on his youtube channel, and or joined one of the few Jamie Hubley tribute pages on facebook, leaving poems, songs, and essays. Even I'm part of the multitude: Jamie's suicide pushed me off the fence and forced me to get more involved in bringing about change, hopefully through my blog.
Simone Boileau wrote this wonderful essay that delivers a great and powerful message. I wanted to share it with you...with her permission, of course.
A Unicorn
“In the end we will not remember the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.
“Remember me as the Unicorn.” A unicorn is special on the outside and inside. This simple post would be his last. You may have read about it in the newspaper or heard it on the radio. For some of you this might be the first time hearing about it. By it I me ean the story of one 15 year old boy; Jamie Hubley.
Jamie was the only openly gay student in his school and for that, he was bullied constantly. He was very talented; he loved to sing and act, but Jamie felt like no one thought he was special (even though he was, very special to friends and family.) Jamie didn’t feel like he could talk to anyone about these feelings. Tragically on October 14th 2011, Jamie committed suicide.
Jamie's story has been eye opening and had an impact on people across Canada, including me. It is hard to believe that bullying continues to be a problem even in my school board. It is sad that we are still harassed for our sexual orientation and that Jamie felt that killing himself was the only way to escape.
Suicide is the leading cause of death in Canada for youth under the age of 24. Most people are aware that bullying slowly chips away at someone with every word. When you're being bullied you can feel completely isolated, completely alone. Deaths like Jamie's could be avoided with things like support clubs in schools to let gay students know that they aren't alone. It's not enough to say it will get better or it will be alright. What if it doesn’t? We can do more. I will do more.
here is my essay hope it spreads awareness
Simone Boileau wrote this wonderful essay that delivers a great and powerful message. I wanted to share it with you...with her permission, of course.
A Unicorn
“In the end we will not remember the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.
“Remember me as the Unicorn.” A unicorn is special on the outside and inside. This simple post would be his last. You may have read about it in the newspaper or heard it on the radio. For some of you this might be the first time hearing about it. By it I me ean the story of one 15 year old boy; Jamie Hubley.
Jamie was the only openly gay student in his school and for that, he was bullied constantly. He was very talented; he loved to sing and act, but Jamie felt like no one thought he was special (even though he was, very special to friends and family.) Jamie didn’t feel like he could talk to anyone about these feelings. Tragically on October 14th 2011, Jamie committed suicide.
Jamie's story has been eye opening and had an impact on people across Canada, including me. It is hard to believe that bullying continues to be a problem even in my school board. It is sad that we are still harassed for our sexual orientation and that Jamie felt that killing himself was the only way to escape.
Suicide is the leading cause of death in Canada for youth under the age of 24. Most people are aware that bullying slowly chips away at someone with every word. When you're being bullied you can feel completely isolated, completely alone. Deaths like Jamie's could be avoided with things like support clubs in schools to let gay students know that they aren't alone. It's not enough to say it will get better or it will be alright. What if it doesn’t? We can do more. I will do more.
here is my essay hope it spreads awareness
It will, Simone. Trust me, it will.
The Ugly.... R.I.P. Marjorie Raymond - Age 15
And, sadly, once again, bullying was at the root of Marjorie committing suicide. According to her suicide note, she couldn't handle any more of the bullying, which she'd endured for over 3 years! So, now, instead of her family planning Sweet 16 birthday celebration, instead of looking forward to all of the rites of passage that comes along with turning 16, her family now has to plan a funeral and say goodbye. THIS HAS TO CHANGE!!! The change needs to be decisive. And, the change needs to come NOW! We need to work towards the day where there are no more headlines like this.
The Bad...
The GOOD of this situation is that the young boy didn't end his own life. The BAD of it is that a 12 year old has to endure such an incredible level of bullying, read the story, yourself!, to even make him have to THINK about committing suicide. Not only had he thought about it, he'd actually planned it.
School districts around the country and in Canada are working hard to place new, (supposedly) stricter anti-discrimination, anti-bullying laws in place. However, that is our society's standard, knee-jerk reactionary response. It's business as usual. No law, regardless how stringent, is going to reach far enough with this. As we saw in Michigan, there are (and, presumably, always will be) deep pockets of hates all around us. People who hide behind God and religion as they harm another fellow human being. Teens who learn to hate and be intolerant from their parents and home life who, in turn, takes it out on another fellow human being which, as we're seeing at an alarmingly high rate, is directly contributing to suicide.
No law is going to reach far enough until it encompasses the source of the hatred and intolerance: the homes.
School districts around the country and in Canada are working hard to place new, (supposedly) stricter anti-discrimination, anti-bullying laws in place. However, that is our society's standard, knee-jerk reactionary response. It's business as usual. No law, regardless how stringent, is going to reach far enough with this. As we saw in Michigan, there are (and, presumably, always will be) deep pockets of hates all around us. People who hide behind God and religion as they harm another fellow human being. Teens who learn to hate and be intolerant from their parents and home life who, in turn, takes it out on another fellow human being which, as we're seeing at an alarmingly high rate, is directly contributing to suicide.
No law is going to reach far enough until it encompasses the source of the hatred and intolerance: the homes.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
A CALL TO ACTION!!!!! His name is Stuart Kremp!!!
The great news is the young man I alluded to is the earlier "...IN THE MOMENT" entry is still alive. The bad news is that he's still in a very bad way. His name is Stuart Kremp.(this link is his facebook page. HE'S ON RIGHT NOW!) He lives in Barrhead, Alberta. Calling on an army to reel him back to shore. Thanks.
Handling a Crisis IN THE MOMENT!! (Updated)
For the second time in less than a week, I was confronted last night with a distraught youth who was intent on ending his life. Again, I was IN THE MOMENT with someone who was ready to give it all back. And, to be sure, I really have no way of knowing right at this moment whether either of them actually took action and/or whether they were successful. I know that in the first instance, we were able to quickly assemble a small army for him and were able to throw him a life raft. Let's continue the hope that he makes it back to shore. I was deeply troubled by last night's case. This one sounded touch-and-go, even to the point where he couldn't have cared less about those of us who had reaching out to him. Worse, he asked us all to stop trying to help him. Then, he was gone from the screen. Logged off. And, again, we were left to wonder. Wait and wonder. At least with this guy, we have a general location as to where he is. That may prove to be valuable information.
It makes me wonder why there aren't more resources available, a "suicide prevention first-aid kit" of sorts, readily available for us in the event we're caught right there in the moment. Knowing without a doubt exactly what to do at that very crucial moment is an absolute necessity if we're to save these youngsters. I want to stress here, again, that I am by no means a professional therapist, psychologist, or even social worker. I'm merely a very concerned citizen, an older gay man who have been through what a lot of these kids are going through. The difference, obviously, is that I made it to the other side. It wasn't always easy. What has worked well for me so far (this week's two incidents notwithstanding) first and foremost is simply talking sincerely with these young people whenever possible. Not to give advice, mind you. I'm not qualified to do that. Rather, I've always known that LISTENING really goes a very long way. I personally have witnessed the positive effects of that during this crisis.
Make no mistake: listening, however important, is NOT the only thing needed (in most cases) to save these people's lives. As non-professionals, once we get the life jackets on them (listening), we need to get professionally trained people involved absolutely as soon as possible. Depending on the severity of the situation, the authorities may need to be called in as well. The upside of doing this on the Internet is we can get instantaneous news from around the entire globe. That's crucial. I'm thousands of miles away from Hungary, yet I've been able to help bring a beautiful young Hungarian soul back from the edge. The downside is that they ARE spread out all around the globe. Sometimes, making the right connections can be difficult but very worth it. The payoff is another young life saved from self-destruction.
Here are some helpful links and resources for both you and the at-risk person you may be in touch with.
http://www.befrienders.org (primarily for the at-risk person)
http://www.imalive.org (primarily for the at-risk person)
http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=suicidal_content (very valuable for everyone to have this link)
That's a good start. And, of course, I will be updating as I come across more resources. We really need every single one of you to get involved in this mission to save lives. You don't have to be a professional to get involved. The only requirement is compassion. As said by another committed soldier in this battle: "Yes, I have no training or degree in psychology...But I don't need a degree to tell when someone is 'Depressed'... I don't really know whether or not they are or should be 'Clinically Diagnosed' as 'Clinically Depressed'... All I know is, as far as I am concerned... they are 'DEPRESSED'... i.e. constantly unhappy and in a state of emotional pain... And I really don't like it when 'administrators' or 'councilors' in schools or where ever.. tell me I'm not trained enough to detect depression, any sensitive human being can detect depression... I don't claim either to have the training to help any one with depression, but...[I] have the heart and love to give the moral support and a caring ear to those who need to have another caring human being just listen to them or talk to them... 'no training needed, apply from within'" Well said, Michele.
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