Six Million People Can't be Wrong

I speak often of Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook.  There's a reason for that.  In my humble opinion, they are singlehandedly changing the world.  That's a very strong statement.  It puts a lot of responsibility on the great people who make their platform work.  And, it puts a ton of weight on the shoulders of Kel, the creator of this phenomena.  

Apparently, there are many people who agree with me.  Besides the fact that their facebook page now has over 315,000 members, and growing by leaps and bounds on a weekly basis, today their webpage added it's 6 millionth visitor!!!  Six million, three hundred thousand people worldwide agree with me that Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook, it the community of change.  The beauty of that is they are not wilting in the least from the pressure of such gaudy numbers.  In fact, they crave more and celebrate each milestone.  Why?  Obvious answer:  the higher the numbers, the more people who are being reached, the better the chances of helping people who really need help the most.

They are the trailblazers.  Why?  What's their lure?  What is it that's constantly attracting tens of thousands of people to their page and website on a weekly basis?  Simple answer:  They reach out to everyone.  Gays and straights alike, from around the world!, interact with their twin pages daily, contributing their own stories, sharing photos, or just offering support.  It's become the premiere "go to" spot on facebook.  That carries a lot of weight considering facebook boasts over 800,000,000 users.

Kevin "Kel" O'Neil, WHOF's creator started this on a lark, actually.  In his own words:

" WHOF, all started on the 9th May 2010. During a search for a gay group I found two hate pages. They only had a few members , but all I could think was what if one of my family found this page and read the hate speech.

I decided to"report" both pages. Hate speech is illegal in most of the free world and is also against Facebook's own terms of use.

I sent links to the pages to some friends so they too could report them, they replied with links to others I thought that rather than 30 of us sending each other messages, I would collate the links on one Facebook page. An hour later there were hundreds of members and by the end of the day a thousand had joined, today there are over 310,000 members" Says Kevin,from Durham in the North east of England, who later created the website to accompany the facebook page in September of 2010.

That's called filling a void.  It was the right idea at the right time, and people from every outpost on the globe have responded.

Of course, not everyone in the world agrees with such a positive movement.  Change frightens people.  And, Kel gets the hate mail to prove it!  Always one step ahead, he handles each piece of hate mail with the kind of wit and humor, yet very much to the point, that only he can do.

Another invaluable piece of the WHOF puzzle is the staff he has surrounded himself with.  The Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook administration consists of such leaders as Lyndsay Winegarden (creator of STOP Teen Suicide) and Matt Desmond (creator and owner of AddictingInfo.com)  What that means is that there's always someone knowledgeable and skilled manning the page in the event there's an emergency.  That's a crucial component.

I think, for me, what impresses me the most is some of the letters of thanks they receive from people who were in a real bad place in their lives, or maybe a friend or family member was and, thanks to WHOF, they were able to make it through. 

Ashlee Tai 07:53 AM on January 24, 2012
Dear Kel,
I wanted to share a story with you and other admin members to let you know how much of a positive impact you've made in my life and in the lives of many people that I know.  I am a proud bi-sexual and have always been open and honest about it with family, friends and strangers. It has more often than not made me a target for homophobic taunts and physical attacks. But I believe that there is nothing in the world that will ever dictate how I should live and who I should love.
One of my dearest friends Lucas just recently accepted himself for who he is. A gay man. I couldn't have been more proud when he told me.  However he was extremely scared because like myself he was raised in a devout Catholic family and was always taught that homosexuality was unnatural, perverted and going against the laws of God (However neither one of us actually believe in God). Because of his apprehension towards wanting to tell his family I told him I would be there to provide some much needed support.

It did not go well at all. His mother told him being gay was a disease and he was a threat to the institution of marriage. Then his dad packed his things and told him to get out of his house because as far as he was concerned Lucas was dead to him. Their abuse towards him continued right up until we pulled out of the driveway.
It made me angry that they could exhibit such hatred towards such a beautiful man, their only child.
I organised for him to live with my best friends family who happen to be straight Catholics that have nothing but love and support for the gay community. They have taken in many LGBT friends/acquantances of mine and have given them a home. Food to eat. Clothes on their backs. And compassion in the purest of forms.
And the one thing that I along with my friends family have encouraged them to turn to if we aren't there and they are feeling down, is your page.
You provide an incredible about of hope for the future. And in all honesty if it weren't for WHOF I don't think I'd have many of my LGBT friends still with me. I would like to thank you for saving lives because in my eyes that is what you've done and that is what you are doing.
Thank you so much for everything.
Ashlee Tai.

Those stories get me every time.  Each letter of survival validates the strong presence and tremendous work WHOF has on the Internet.

Congratulations, guys, on your 6,000,000th visitor and, more importantly, on a job very well done!

Friends, Family of 14-Year-Old Rafael Morelos Say Goodbye with Candlelight Vigil

Add another name to last week's casualty list.  Tonight, friends and family of 14-year-old Rafael Morelos said goodbye to him with a candlelight vigil.  Rafael was an openly gay student who was the victim of bullycide.  So, here's last week's "tally" of teen suicides:  4 reported incidences; 3 of them stemming from bullying. 

What needs to be done, and what's actually beginning to happen, is there needs to be solid, definitive action taken to identify, intervene, and prevent bullying.  The urgency speaks for itself.  Four young people under the age of 18 took their own lives last week, and three of them as a result of bullying.  That's not acceptable.

Information is needed, and it needs to be shared and shared again.  Having a Bullying Prevention Policy Guideline is a good place to start.  This particular one is in downloadable PDF form so that everyone can have their own copy handy.

Teaching Tolerance, a project of the Southern Poverty Law Center, offers a guideline for teachers.  In most school systems across the country, this guideline will go a long way to creating a much safer environment for all of their students.  I say most because there are still school systems pushing hard for a version of "Don't Say Gay" in their schools.  I'll come back to that issue.

And, of course, in today's world, having a Guideline on ...Cyberbullying Prevention is essential.  At least one of last week's deaths was attributed to, at least in part, cyberbullying. 

The fact of the matter is that, in the end, it's going to be us, the concerned citizens, who are going to make the difference in these young people's lives.  Governments are playing politics with young people's lives; school systems are not addressing the situation.  Meanwhile, lives are being lost at an alarming rate. 

Rafael Morelos, may you now find peace.  I wish someone could've reached you in time. 

In My Own Backyard!

Don't be too quick to jump on the Maryland bandwagon.  Governor O'Malley may be pushing for the legalization of gay marriage here (and, it looks as if it has a real shot of passing!), but then there's madness like this.  At Albert Einstein High School, literally a 20-minute drive from my house, a group that calls themselves PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays) sent home a flyer with the students' report card that basically tells its LGBT students that "you weren't born that way" and, once again, "we can help you change".

Their flyer is carefully worded as to not give the impression that it's religion-motivated.  We know better.  In the flyer, they allege that "every year, thousands of people make the decision..." to no longer be LGBT.  In an attempt to mock the LGBT community, they cite:  "...formerly gay men and women are discriminated against simply because they dare to exist."  "Thousands"!  And, again, I'm completely ok with them having their opinions.  That's their right under our Constitution.  However, to force-feed it to the students of Einstein represents a collapse in moral responsibility.  At a time in their lives where they're already struggling to figure out who they are and how they fit into society, at a time where some are definitely questioning their sexuality or, worse, beginning to feel confident with it, P-FOX has thrown a monkey wrench of uncertainty into the picture.  Instead of doing things that will help these students grow and become confident, productive adults, they opted to send the message "if you're LGBT, you're defected.  But, don't worry, We can fix you!!  It's your choice."  Maybe, P-FOX needs to be reminded that just last month, the leader of Exodus (the largest ex-gay farce in this country), Alan Chambers, announced that no one changes their sexual orientation.  He admitted that it was a farce.  In his own words, "99.9" of the people in his group didn't become "ex-gay".  Another of the co-founders of Exodus, Michael Bussee, went as far as to write this very revealing, very honest letter of apology.  Please take the time to read it.

What did happen, however, was there were suicides because of his program and the confusion it caused.  There were people left with emotional damage after being forced to believe that they were defective in some way, that their natural orientation was wrong.

Groups like P-FOX are now sprouting up around the country even as the ex-founder of Exodus has made it clear that it was basically a 20-year scam that he was running.  Infamous politician, Michele Bachmann, is married to a man who is making a mint off of one of those "ex-gay" "therapy" farces.  And, now it's here in my own backyard.  I don't like it.

Albert Einstein school officials, and the Montgomery County School Board made sure to distance themselves from this debacle with this disclaimer:  "These materials were neither endorsed nor sponsored by the Board of Education of Montgomery County, the superintendent, or this school."  Smart move. 

To contact P-FOX and voice your opinion, you can reach them on their website.  Let them know that what they're doing is wrong.

Saving a Life Via Social Networking

Since I embarked on this journey three months ago, I've seen some pretty heroic acts of compassion and humanity.  Total strangers reaching out, from all around the globe!, in order to attempt to save a total stranger's life.  There's been success stories that I've seen personally.  There's been some where the situation is now-stable but still touch-and-go.  No one said this was going to be easy work.

Today, we see the first publicized case of two teenagers reaching out to save a life.  Seventeen-year-old Danny Manes and 19-year-old Gary Ramirez worked feverishly for over 5 hours to talk a fellow teen, who had been posting suicidal messages that caught Danny Manes' eye, down from suicide.  Their hard and determined work paid great dividends when they received a message from the distraught teen thanking them for their help.  Heroes are born everyday.

Manes and Ramirez are just two of hundreds, maybe thousands!, of people, young and old, male and female, gay and straight, black, blue, and, green, working ardently to make a difference by reaching out to people in need, in particular teens with suicidal ideations.  Manes and Ramirez have a facebook page, Hopeline4Teens, that is set up specifically for helping troubled teens.

And, there's BrettJ93 (don't know his last name) who has the youtube video where he's reaching out to the same demographic.  And, according to him, they're reaching back now that they know who to reach for.  The video is marvelous work and has gotten several thousand views since I first wrote about it earlier in the week.  It needs 100 times that many!  So, keep sharing it.

The army continues to grow.  There are many, many people putting forth an amazing amount of effort in their quest to make a difference.  And, it's paying huge dividends.

Danny Manes and Gary Ramirez, stand up and take a bow.  We commend you.  Great job!  Thank you for your dedicated efforts.

Other sources of social media help and outreach:
Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook
STOP Teenage Suicide
ABC: Anti-Bullying Coalition
Suicide Support
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Teacher Puts Own Bias Above Student's Education

We must be doing something right as our swelling numbers continue the fight for equality for everyone.  "The other side" is fighting back with a vengeance.

A member of Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook sent a direct email to the staff there.  In it, he told of a relative of a friend in Eufaula High School, in Eufaula, OK.  A high school class is given as essay assignment.  It is to be on current events.  One girl's choice was to do one on gay marriage.  What's in the news more than that these days?  Brilliant, and brave, idea.

Gale Applegate, this girl's teacher who gave the assignment, forbade the girl to write on that topic, saying everything but the truth of the matter:  that she's a homophobe and a bigot.  She told the young pioneer outright that she would be "unable to grade her paper without bias", which is an acknowledgement that she's against same-sex marriages.  In itself, I'm ok with her being against same-sex marriage.  That's her prerogative.  I'm not ok with her imposing her bias on a young, blossoming, impressionable mind.

Is it the responsibility of a teacher to censor the critical thinking abilities of their students?  The deeper question is should a teacher even be allowed to impose their own prejudices upon their students?  The answer to both is an unequivocal no.  There is no way that young Khrystal shouldn't be able to write to her imagination's extent and on whatever topic she chooses.  If the idea was to write on current events, what could be more current, more relevant than today's nationwide, indeed worldwide, struggle for marriage equality?  Instead of allowing this young student to explore and express her opinions on a critical and controversial topic, Ms. Applegate threatened to not only fail the assignment:  she threatened to fail Khrystal for the class!  Every clear thinking parent, student, male or female should be outraged at this teacher's arrogance.  Forget the bigotry.  She's allowed, under the Constitution, to be an ass.  However, she is not allowed to force feed her prejudices to her students.

One of my favorite battle cries is THERE IS POWER IN NUMBERS!!  Those who are in the U.S. can voice your concerns by calling the school superintendent as well as the principal directly.  Those outside the U.S. who wish to voice their opinions can write to the address below.  There are also email addresses, both for the principal and the Dean of Students:

gwdavis@eufaula.k12.ok.us  -  Principal


jlbohannon@eufaula.k12.ok.  -  Johnny Bohannon, Dean of Students

Superintendent Rita Ford
918-689-2152

Principal Garret Davis

Eufaula High School
1st & Woodland
Eufaula, Oklahoma 74432-2410
Phone: 918.689.2556
Fax: 918.689.1099

Imposing limitations on what a student can explore and express academically is detrimental to every student's educational, psychological, and mental growth.  Worse, it grooms them to be just as prejudiced as the teacher.  The time for such brainwashing has come to an end.  We need to make sure Gale Applegate knows and fully understands that.

12-Year-Old Clifford Rodriques Dead by Suicide in New Bedford

This in my third article in just over 17 hours, and all three were dealing with another preventable loss of a young life.  On Monday, January 31st, Clifford Rodriques died by suicide.  It remains a mystery as to the why of this case.  Police investigation is ongoing.

I don't think I need to state anymore the state of emergency that we are in.  Talking about it isn't changing anything.  Well, it is.  It's making us more and more angry.  And, that's not a bad thing at all.  Perhaps, we can begin turning the anger into positive action.  No longer can we wait for somebody else to initiate the change.  Each and every one of us has to do our part, to the best of our ability, to prevent this from continuing.  Sometimes, simple steps go a long way:

• know the warning signs.  I can't emphasize enough how important that is.
• Talk to your son, daughter, sister, brother, or friend, if they appear to be in distress.  More importantly, listen carefully to what they're saying.
• Don't hesitate to get the proper authorities involved.  
• Have resources readily available if you know of someone who's voicing suicidal ideation.
• Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook isn't just about the LGBT community.  They're touching, and saving many lives.  They have a wonderful section on suicide support on their website.  Use it.
• Keep this link handy: Befrienders Worldwide.
• And, definitely have this number readily available:  1-800-273-TALK (8255)  That is the number for the national suicide prevent lifeline.  They have a website as well as a facebook page.

Being highly involved, sadly, won't save Clifford Rodriques' life.  However, being highly involved will go a long way towards ending this maddening cycle of teen suicides.  I hope I'm able to see it within my own lifetime.

Yet Another Young Life Lost to Bullycide: Eira Maghuyop, 14, Rest In Peace

I'm reaching the point where I don't know what else to say.  The redundant pace of this alarming epidemic is leaving me heart-wrenched and at a loss for words.  Tuesday, January 31, 2012, 14-year-old Eira Maghuyop added her name to the growing list of bullycides.  She was a freshman at Ursuline High School in New Rochelle, NY.  A freshman.  I look back through my high school yearbook and see just how young we really are when we're freshmen.  Ursuline High School is mourning one of theirs today.


According to the news reports, she was a victim of cyberbullying.  The New Rochelle police have her computer to investigate.  It is my sincerest hope that they're able to pinpoint who was doing the bullying and dole out punishment to the fullest extent of the law.  The message still isn't being heard:  WE WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE BULLYING OF ANY SORT!!  It is also my hope that the already-swelling number of ordinary, and not-so-ordinary citizens continue to scream that message to the top of their lungs until we can finally close this deplorable chapter of our existence.  


Eira's friends immediately set up an anti-bullying facebook page in her honor.  It has swelled to over 10,000 members at last glance.  That needs to increase tenfold.  There is also several YouTube videos already posted in her memory.  I'm really tired shedding tears as I watch these wonderful young people's images who lost their lives senselessly.  We need to work even harder.


By all accounts, Eira was a sweet, bubbly young girl, full of laughter and promise.  And, it's evident that she was loved dearly by those close to her.  One of her closest friends wrote this on her tumblr blog:

This  is Eira Maghuyop.

She was 14.  We didn’t talk all the time, but we talked occasionally.  Every time we talked, she managed to make me smile or laugh, and we both loved Vampire Diaries and The Secret Circle.  This summer, we were going to meet uup in N.Y.C. and she promised to give me a tour.  She was the sweetest and bubbliest person alive.  That’s why it was all a shock last night to learn that this beautiful girl took her own life.  When I heard the news, I was so…shocked.  I had no idea she was depressed, or thinking of suicide.  It was so sad.  Ii cried for about 2 hours upon learning she had died.  She killed herself due to the fact that she goy bullies.  Really?  What the actually f**k.  F**k you b*tches that bullied this sweet girl until she couldn’t take it anymore.  I miss her, I miss Eira.  She was only 14.  That’s way too young.  She had her whole life ahead of her.  We would always joke about who was older, and who was more mature since her birthday was 6 days ahead of mine.  She told me I was going to make it big one day.  I took those words to heart, babygirl. :’)

R.I.P. Eira Maghuyop

F**k I hate this world…Why does this happen to such good people.  You see what you guys done.  yeah.  f**ked up

What's needed now, right now!, is for more and more people to continue to band together and take action, whatever it takes!, to make absolutely sure that we bring this scourge of our society to a screeching halt.  We need to FORCE the politicians to listen and take answers.  We need to compel teachers and school administrators to be much more PROactive, and diligent, in preventing bullying.  And, particularly in the case of bullycides, we need to MAKE SURE that those who are guilty of the bullying are made to understand that what they did was just as bad as pointing a gun at their victim and pulling the trigger.  The end result is the same.

Eira had a beautiful family.  Now, they're enduring the deepest level of sorrow imaginable.  It shouldn't be that way.  Rest in peace, Eira Fatima Maghuyop.  I know you will be missed.