Noah Grawemeyer, 12, Bullying Leads to Suicide Death

It's August 24, 2012.  The new school year is just barely underway, and here we are:  already saying goodbye to the second known student lost to suicide so far this school year.  Noah Grawemeyer was only 12 years old.  He had just started seventh grade at Hazelwood Middle School in New Albany, Indiana.  According to his mother, he didn't want to go to school Monday:

“He was sick to his stomach, and he just was so upset when I talked to him and crying that he didn't want to go to school, and I didn't understand why he was crying not to..."

Police in New Albany are investigating whether or not there was bullying involved.  Same ol', same ol'.  Undoubtedly, their conclusion will be one that we've heard many, many, too many times before:  "Our investigation has concluded that bullying was not an issue... ."  And, that leaves Noah's distraught family and friends in anguish.  I'm certain that, on a core level, whether or not he was pushed to suicide due to bullying pales, by comparison, to the fact that he's gone.  Rightly so.  No parent or family member should ever have to go through the debilitating loss of a child to suicide.

On the other side of the coin, it is August 2012.  I refuse to believe that there's a single person alive today, and of reasonable intelligence, who doesn't know that there's an enormous problem today with bullying and teen suicides.  There's literally no place in the media a person can go and not hear stories of bullying and of teen suicides.  It's in the newspapers for people who still read them; it's on the news channels and talk shows for those who watch television; it's on the Internet for those who spend most of their time there.  It's an unavoidable issue.  The stories are there.  The faces are there.  The broken families are there.  The lawmakers are there vowing new legislation.  So, with all of this in place, how is it that we're barely into the new school year and, already!, we're facing teen suicides due to bullying?  Where is the ball being dropped?  And, make no mistake:  the ball is clearly being dropped.  Do we wait until this affects us directly before we get involved?  Do we continue to not educate our own young ones about the value of acceptance until we're face-to-face with the horror of the loss of our own child or teenager due to bullying and suicide?  Do we continue to make our posters - "No More Bullying!!!"; "Bullying Stops Here!!" - march them around town while we wait for someone else to roll up their sleeves and get busy working for a solution?  Or, do we look at this as what it is:  a scourge in our society; an epidemic that is claiming many lives year after year; something that is totally controllable and avoidable?  Once enough people begin to look at this for what it really is and feel in their heart that it has to stop before one more family has to go through what the Grawemeyers are currently going through, we'll start seeing real changes.

There are resources available, numbers that can be called, websites, and help pages.

Enough is Enough: the blog page

National Suicide Lifeline

The Trevor Project

Befrienders

Suicide Prevention Information

There's been a facebook page set up in Noah's memory.  You can go there and give your condolences to the family.  And, to you, young Noah, you're at peace, now.  No more bullying.

Tori Swoape, 15, Death After Being Bullied

I now have information about the second of the five teen suicides from from midweek.  Fifteen year old Tori Swoape ended her life Wednesday, May 8th in Bloomington, Indiana.  According to her mother, and friends, Tori had been bullied. 

Lana Swoape, Tori's mother, said:

"I never thought she could do this. I never thought she would," as tears dripped down her face.  There was name calling. There was rumors. A lot of what Tori went through was rumors.  She was new, and she got teased a lot because ... the girls were jealous because all the guys liked her and the girls didn't”

In what has become the normal response from "officials", Bloomington police Captain, Joe Qualters added:

“We still continue to investigate whether or not bullying may have been a factor in this case. However, we can find no direct relationship. It continues to be rumors circulating on social media sites,”

Bloomington North High School Principal, Jeffry Henderson chimed in:

"We can't find a single incident where she was treated in a disparaging way. There are rumors and innuendoes, but we can't find an eyewitness who can say she was mistreated. She never made a report. I'm certainly not saying it didn't happen, but what I am saying is we cannot find anyone who can substantiate it,” 

Yet, Tori, herself posted to her own facebook wall this message to her tormentors:

'IM NOT TALKING TO NO ONE. so go ahead and spread that RUMOR around! Keep my name out of your mouth. LEAVE MY BUSINESS TO ME!'

Why are the officials so reluctant to acknowledge that bullying is taking place, particularly when the bullying is leading to young lives being lost?  It is my opinion that these "officials" need to have their feet held to the fire.  They need to step up their own awareness, and they need to be reacting to every single instance of bullying that's going on.  Further, as has been suggested by one of the members of the facebook blog page, there should be an active anti-bullying club in every single school around the country.  It is up to us, the grieving families and friends as well as  the concerned citizens, to start holding these officials accountable.  To keep saying that "more needs to be done" is an empty statement if we don't have people willing to step up and start forcing the issue.

This has become a runaway train.  What I want to see in my lifetime is real action being taken to prevent these egregious events from continuing to happen.  There are people who are now saying that they're tired of reading about these teen suicides.  They're missing the point.  I don't love writing about another teen who took their life.  It's something that needs to be done.  It's something that needs to be done because every single person needs to be made aware that this is an enormous problem...in this country, and around the world.  Without awareness, even less would be getting done that it is today.  That's completely unacceptable.  

I wish I didn't have to write this article about you, Tori.  You should still be here, enjoying your youth.  Rest in peace.