Monday, May 7, 2012

Ryan Nash, 15, Death by Suicide

Let's put this on the table first and foremost:  by all accounts, from people close to the family, Ryan was not bullied.  As has become the norm as soon as word hits the social media "grapevine" of yet another teen suicide, bullying is automatically assumed to be the culprit.  That is simply not always the case.  What matters most at the end of the day is that yet another youth has taken his or her life, that another family has been devastated, that friends who were close to the deceased are left to wonder "why?".
What IS known at this point is that yesterday, May 6th, 15-year-old Ryan Nash ended his young life.  What is known, also, is that he was a freshman baseball player at Carl Sandburg High School in Orland Park, Illinois.  And, sadly, what is known is that Ryan's family, friends, and, indeed, entire community are in a deep state of shock and mourning.  Everything else, at this point, is pure speculation.

What is important to realize, and reinforce, to all teens - whether you think they're struggling or not! - is that there are resources available for them at all times.  There are people for them to talk to.  Let's face it:  being a teenager is tough.  It was tough when I was a teen.  It's even moreso today with the prevalence of the social media medium in our culture.  Today, more than ever, having resourses readily available, and visible!!, for teens can be a difference of life and death.  Literally.

The deeper I delve into this whole issue of teen suicide, the more I learn.  Obviously.  And, one of the common threads has been the deadly silence.  That needs to be addressed.  We need to find a way to get the point across to all teens that if they're struggling with something - bullying, relationship issues, depression, whatever! - they need to talk to someone.  Find an adult to talk to.  If not their parents, maybe the parents of a close and trusted friend.  Maybe an aunt or uncle.  SOMEBODY!!  The biggest key is to let them know that they don't have to suffer in silence.  Silence is deadly.

In the case of Ryan Nash, by all accounts, he was a very popular young man, very well-liked, a baseball player.  His friends have been speaking up, via twitter, since Sunday's tragic event.  They speak of him with nothing but love, respect, and sadness.
Conor 
Still in pain and shock ill miss you friend #RN20 never forgotten we have this eagles!
Nick 
Knowing my best friend, he would be doing the same thing if anyone else were in this position #RN20 
His sister has even chimed in:
niki nash ‏
My brother can see how loved he was #RN20 thank you all so much for all of your support today
The bottom line is that, for all the effort that so many people are putting in, in an effort to stem the tide of teen suicides, we're obviously not doing enough.  That means that, collectively, we all have to work harder, and faster!!, to find a solution.  It can, and must, be done.  The world is losing far, far, far too many young people to suicide.

To the family and friends of Ryan Nash, I send my deepest sympathy and condolences.  Rest in peace, Ryan.


29 comments:

  1. *sobbing* please! people. no more. RIP

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  2. RIP Ryan...rest now in the arms of the Angels

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  3. I'm 'old' and have lived many lives. If anyone would like to speak with me, I'm more than willing to listen, ANY TIME. I was bullied, when it wasn't acknowledged; it has affected my life and I did attempt suicide, when younger. There is ALWAYS hope, my darlings. Please reach out, before you reach the end. Will someone let me know how to 'sign up' to be a phone call away? Much love to Ryan's family...I agree, NO MORE.

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  4. Thank you for this informative and refreshingly objective piece.
    As a retired psychiatric RN hwo worked In-Patient Adolescent Units, am more than a little familiar with this problem.
    Breaking the deafening silence and getting real information out there is a magnificent start.
    Thanks for your contribution.
    Suicide is the ultimate act leaving everyine wondering what they could have done
    My heart goes out to his parents, family and young friends who will be forever effected by this tragedy.
    Kathleen

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  5. As you say enough is enough. Its time for the world to change and this will only be done with it kicking and screaming.

    No human being of any age especially our teenagers (our future) should ever feel suicide is the only answer to what ever thier issues.

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  6. RIP young man, another gone too soon and so uneccesarily. I'm a therapist and, unfortunately, a number of adolescents (not all) do not listen. Not because they think they know it all, rather they feel you are old and could not possibly understand what they are experiencing. Plus, when depressed, it feels like they are so alone and no-one else could understand the black cloud that seems to be their life. They project into the future based on the way they're feeling now. On a personal level, I have lived with a suicidal teen, our family kept vigilant watch 24 hours a day, kept him home from school and made sure he received the correct medication, and therapy from outside the family. Not everyone can do this. However, parents look for behaviour/mood changes whether suddenly sullen or over the top happy, withdrawn, angry or dropping grades at school. Ask questions, look at body language and just reassure, be supportive (no matter what) and get them help as soon as possible. If prescribed medication make sure they aren't lying about taking it, be with them as they take it. Boys are at a higher risk than girls but watch your young like the precious gift that they are.

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  7. For those who are one of the estimated six million suicide survivors in the world today, My heart goes with you. And for those in such intense pain who think their lives are not valuable ... you are mistaken. A life can change in one day and all thoe who love you want you to go to them for help. Speak your truth and they will do the rest. www.whywhisper.net

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  8. Ron, this is truly sad and a horrible stamp on society that these children suffer in silence and lose their lives before they have a chance to begin. I remember being a teenager and high school being rough on me emotionally, but i simply made the choice to suffer through it and i came out the other side. Life is hard especially for teens but i wish they knew it was truly worth it. More should be done, conversations need to be had, even if there uncomfortable ones to save lives. RIP Ryan

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  9. Hi Ron, my name is Moe, I'm a 21-year-old college student from Taiwan. First, my English is not good enough to say what I wanna say clearly, but I'll try my best.
    Bullying here is not as serious as the U.S. But it still exists. I was bullied when I was in 3rd grade. Some of the kids laughed at me and said somethings really bad to me. I was bullied for only one year, but I still feel painful and sad thinking about it. When I was in 11th grade, there was a boy in our class who was bullied by some older students. They stood around him and force him to sing in front of so many students. They said they are gonna beat him up if he say no. He sang, then he cried, and people started to laugh. The worst is, those bad students throw a basket of rotten food to him, he ran away and didn't come to school for a whole week. I was shocked, I didn't know what to do, I was not brave enough to stop this. This happened every day around the world, I wanna try my best to let Taiwanese know how bad it could hurt a soul.
    Your articles about teenage suicide broke my heart, but at the same time I saw so many people work so hard trying to make everything better, it brings tears to me. What I wanna do is, I want to translate your articles into Chinese, to show Taiwanese how serious it is, especially teenagers. Taiwanese don't really care or talk about it, which makes me upset.
    I'll put the link of this blog at the end of every article. I'll also add some of my thoughts about bullying in Taiwan in the articles.
    I will not do it if you don't want me to, please feel free to say anything to me. Thank you for reading this :)

    -Moe (I'm a girl by the way)

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    1. Moe, I think that would be a wonderful idea. It's all about trying to save lives. If translating it to Chinese will help, please, please do.

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  10. RIP im praying for you and so is my whole school. now your at rest :'(

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  11. How good of you to do the work of bringing this to our collective attention. How sad that you need to.

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  12. i didnt know him, but i know a lot of people who did. seeing them all cry brings me to tears myslef. its terrible that this had to happen. rip ryan nash

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  13. im gonna miss ya buddy </3 rest in paradise

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    1. Anonymous, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best. You, the community, and especially, Ryan's family.

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  14. I'm so sad another Carl Sandburg baseball player took his own life.It's ashame the coaches at Sandburg can't put their egos aside,and really be there for our kids.

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  15. Ryan was an awesome kid who will be missed alot by many... He always had a big smile and a bigger heart... RIP Ryan....

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  16. Everyone rocked your favorite color today at school and those nike elite socks you would always wear ry<3 i will love you forever ryan john nash.

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  17. Let this young man rest in peace. We will never know why. And if we did it would not bring him back. Let these young teenagers who went to school with him mourn in the way they need to. For many of them this is hard to understand let them talk about it. No I don't believe he was bullied but we don't know. We only know he is gone. Let's not do this the Carl Sandburg way and sweep it under the rug. I am proud that my daughter took part in the mourning of this young man. He will always be remembered. But let his piers greive. Let them get it out. Let them cry for him. And God help his parents through this difficult time. Rest in peace Ryan. Rest in peace. You will be remembered for all the good you did.

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  18. Ron, please put your efforts into finding out why the Afsap organization take thousands of dollars from vulnerable families who lost their loved ones to suicide, yet they are no where around when such tragedies take place. 3 young men in lake forest took their lives about two months ago....not one rep from this scam organization came to the school o speak. Now Ryan ... Where we're reps in these high schools?

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  19. Ryan was a great friend. He was a great person . He helped me thru a lot in life. He's playing ball with the angels now. I love you Ryan. #rn20

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  20. i miss you ryan. you were such a great kid. months after, you are still with me. always on my mind, forever in my heart. i love you so so much ryry. <3

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  21. rest in peace my friend, i love you buddy.

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  22. Now that all the dust has settle I can come out and say the truth about Ryan Nash.... I couldn't sit there and watch people mourn over him any longer. Ryan was a pothead. Somehow this didn't reach any newspapers or online articles. He committed suicide as an impulsive response to have gotten caught by his parents for smoking marijuana. Now this is how he was at Carl Sandburg the school I attend. Bottom line he was a jackass to everyone unless you were a hot female or popular male. Under no circumstances was he nice. He actually bullied and made kids feel bad about themselves everyday. He was a man whore flirting with countless girls after girls getting sexual pleasure from them. With all the support he's getting, and people getting ridiculed for speaking up against RN20 it's funny because he would make fun of a suicide at his school if it was a nobody. Also something that gets me mad is that people pretend to have known him just for facebook likes and twitter re-tweets.

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  23. I don't know who you are above me, but i congratulate you for coming out and saying the truth. I knew him too, and I too attend Sandburg. Yes I definitely feel bad for others who were effected, but what you have said is the truth.

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  24. Rise up to heaven my dear boy.

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  25. What an awful thing to say about anyone who has passed, let alone Ryan Nash. Clearly you did not know Ryan in a deep context and shame on you for speaking badly about someone who took their own life. I hope you know he has a family and friends that have to read things like this about someone they lost. Seems like you don't get attention at home if you need to anonymously degrade someone who has passed away via Internet, but I feel sorry for you. And for the record, all of the good Ryan put into the world will not be overlooked by your lies about him.

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