I was certain that the respite wouldn't last long. It never does. It's usually the quiet before the next storm.
Wednesday, March 8, 14-year-old Eden Wormer ended her life in Vancouver, WA. According to her family, it was a direct result of bullying. Bullying that had been going on for 2 years. Says her older sister, Audri, Eden tried everything she could think of to get the girls to stop bullying her. They wouldn't.
Vancouver police say they have found no evidence to indicate the bullying rose to the level of a crime. I read that twice to make sure I read it correctly. So, to recap, a 14-year-old girl is dead as a direct result of being bullying; yet, the police say they found no evidence to indicate the bullying rose to the level of a crime. No matter how many times I repeat that, it just sounds like I'm reading it wrong. I can't imagine those words escaping someone's mouth. Especially someone in authority. Especially at a time when the family of the person who didn't have the crime committed against her is grieving her death.
Sorry, I'm a little irritated right now.
Incredibly, the reporting news outlet found out about Eden's suicide while talking to a 13-year-old boy from the same school who had allegedly been bullied. Because of the bullying he endured, the same day that Eden ended her life, Izaya Hamilton ended up in the emergency room with a black eye, a bump on his head, and bruises on his shoulder. More incredibly, the school officials "can't talk about specific cases" but did go on record as saying that they "...take bullying seriously." Well, that's obvious! Izaya had to go to the emergency room; Eden won't be coming back to school. Or, going home to her loving family.
I wrote a post yesterday about a news story I'd just heard about the epidemic of teen smoking and how irate that made me become. And, this is precisely why! While teens are dying around the world on a daily basis, and at their own hands!, our officials are offering band-aids to a situation that calls for immediate and emergency action!! Words are meaningless without action.
In my opinion, the first question that these officials, from school teachers and administrators straight through the police departments and on to the politicians!, is "why are you afraid to attack this issue!?" They do the moonwalk around it seemingly every time. In La Crescenta, the police reported there that 15-year-old Drew Ferraro "...hadn't been bullied" before he ended his life. And, there's no doubt I could find more. Does the uttering of those feeble words absolve them from any responsibilty? If so, that has to change!
Words are meaningless without action. It is totally unacceptable that on one day, one student from Cascade Middle School had to go to the emergency room because of injuries sustained from being bullied while another one surrendered her life. They, as well as every other school administrator from shore-to-shore, from border-to-border, from one end of the globe to another, need to be put on notice: WE are not going to tolerate this any longer. And, then, WE need to take action! WE need to hold their feet to the fire every single time it is revealed that a student is being bullied. In the movie, Bully, a teacher goes on record saying "I've ridden that bus, and they're as good as gold". Those words haunt me in my sleep! Her image burned into my mind as she says it with such faux-conviction. The boy who'd complained about being bullied on that bus is dead. Suicide.
This issue...well, it would be redundant to tell you how real or how important it is. They're concerned about teens smoking cigarettes, as well they should be, and calling it an epidemic. They're watching teenager die, at their own hands, from being bullied, and reporting that "our investigation has found no evidence of bullying". I can't be the only one who has a problem with this.
To Izaya Hamilton, give names. Tell your teacher(s). If that doesn't work, tell the principal. No luck there, go over their heads! Go to the media if you have to. Most importantly, though, never ever ever give up.
To the family and friends of Eden Wormer, my heart is with you as you struggle through this unimaginable time.
I am with the writer. This has got to stop, not tomorrow, today, right now!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhy are you anonymous? This is powerful and right on! My friends daughter was friends with Eden Wormer. I was a bullied kid growing up. I just heard of an incident this week of a substitute teacher being the bully! I'm looking into taking steps to make people, schools,etc be held more accountable for their actions or lack of. I'd be interested to hear more thoughts, where you are located and what you intend to do about all this.
DeleteThis has to stop now !!! how many more lives have to be lost before there is an end to this??
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteI am Eden's aunt. You couldn't find a more beautiful and loving person as Eden. Please, if you are being bullied, tell your parents, tell your minister, a teacher, a school councelor, the principle, or the media. Tell anyone who will listen. If you are the children who bullied by niece or anyone else, let this be a lesson to you. What you are doing hurts physically and emotionally. Eden's pain may have ended with her life, but mine has not.
Deletevancouver wa, not vancouver bc.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Corrected. Any thoughts on the issue at hand?
DeleteGreat article! BULLYING HAS TO STOP! These schools say that they're taking it seriously, but what are they doing about it? Is NOBODY stepping in and protecting our children in school? It saddens me to think how alone they must feel.
ReplyDeleteWhat the world needs to realize and make "Bullying", a "hate crime", because those who push other peoples buttons, believe that they have committed the perfect crime, and since they get away with it, they have.
ReplyDeleteThis needs to stop. I know I am gay and that I tried suicide many times, beginning at age 9 in 1965-6, when the "bully" just happen to be a "teacher", who slammed a Bible telling me that I would be better off dead in the sight of God, then to be gay, in front of my whole class. That evening I tried to please God by committing suicide. And many times after. I think once anyone puts "suicide" on their list of options on how to deal with life, it is very hard, to take it off. One thing I believe I know for sure,.............bullies do not make it into Heaven. and the Police are just as bad because of their apathy, because they too also believe that the only good GLBTQ person, is a dead one. Laws need to be changed so that bullying is a hate crime, and that if a bully pushes someone to the point of the other person killing themselves, then it is still murder. Only then may we stem the tide, of hate, and that kids believe, that because of their own insecurities, that they have to target others they see as weak. "If you are picking on someone you believe is weaker then you,THEN what does that really say about you?! That you are a coward, and dare not pick on someone who will knock you on your butt!
Teachers,parents, seem to complain that they do not have the time to pay extra attention to incidents like bullying, and somewhat justified, in this busy world. I wonder if schools would allow volunteers to monitor hallways/schoolyards. Much like the Guardian Angels with the Red Berets. Just a thought.
ReplyDeletemy daughter is 14 but is mentaly delayed by a few yrs,,and has some other mental issues also,,she is tuff,,no one hits on her, but she is bullied mentaly relentlessly every day,,she has been in the "hospital" once this yr,, she is already a very unstable girl,, who has suicide in the family(my mom)she talks about suicde, i have had meetings after mettings with the school and the school board,,they do not document our reports of bulling,,everytime i call up there and say something they react like it is the first time i have called,, she even is picked on by a couple of teachers, we moved here 2yrs ago and were the outsiders coming into a tightly knitted community,,i just recently contacted my local news,,they just told me to go to the school board,,my daughter also had a boy exspose himself to her,they say they are ANTI BULLING but thats just words to calm parents down,,when my daughter reports the kids doing this to her the school advises her to "JUST IGNORE THEM"
ReplyDeleteHow can anyone ..JUST IGNORE the cries of help from a child or the pleas of help from the parents........what if this was one of their children...would they tell their own children to JUST IGNORE IT or would they plead for help from the schoolboard....listen up people your children,your students are crying and pleading for help to stop these bullies..and teachers if you are the bullies ......THAN SHAME ON YOU for having deaf ears for these people who come to you for help.........you are choking on your own words,,because that's exactly what the teachers are doing......JUST IGNORING the cries for help from students and parents......
DeleteMy heart cries for her family, and all families that have suffered a loss of this magnitude. Ten years ago, I lost the 'love of my life' to suicide. This was due to the adult version of familial bullying. I know the pain...I was the one who found her. I know the emptiness. And, even after 10 years, I still ask myself if I could have done more, protected her better etc., etc.. Throughout my years in school (a small, rural system), it was easy to take all underlings under my protective wing, so to speak. None of that could have prepared me for 'my' loss. To the families of suicide victims: The pain NEVER gets better, but it does get easier to deal with.
ReplyDeleteChris, I am so sorry for your loss, and these other terrible losses. I recently lost a much admired and well-loved friend to depression and suicide.
DeleteThe mother of my daughter's friend, now a young woman, had a play date with my child one day twelve years ago and came home to learn that her mother had "died in her sleep." Truth: she hung herself in the child's absence. Bullying, lack of connection, abuse, the abduction of children in Africa to turn them into killing machines--I am ashamed at times to be human. It is heartbreaking and we must do all we can. Life is short--isn't that already obvious? Why do some make it hell on earth?
Like alcoholism.....bullyingnism(don't think a real word,but I like it)is a pattern that starts in the home then taking outside the home,the start of this stopping is to begin in the home,it's not just teenagers but pre teens taking their own lives.....BULLING HAS TO STOP.....kids are our future.....God knows we have enough BULLIES running our world......
ReplyDeleteI just read an article in Time Magazine, where the author John Cloud (appropriately named) tries to rationalize bullying as a right of passage, saying there is too much emphasizing on something that isn't a problem, but it really isn't that simple. I was a victim myself in school, and know kids can be mean, and also dumb about things. I see the situation in my own teens schools, where the kids pick out the differences and target some to fit in with their peers. Teachers need to learn to recognize the problem, and turn it over to the right people to deal with the problem, from helping the victim, to counseling, or punishing the people doing it. I've seen where some of my old bullies have actually been on the suicide, or drug overdose list. It's a very real problem, where you can't close your eyes, or just expel everyone who gets in a fight, but sometimes you need to make examples to open peoples eyes.
ReplyDeleteLike Racism....Bullying was born in our past living in our present and destroying our future......help stop them both...
ReplyDeleteAmen. Thank you for posting this.
DeleteFor everyone who is up in arms about this... What are YOU going to do about this?!?!?! Take action. As I was reminded by someone yesterday, one stone causes a ripple. Get to work people!!!
ReplyDeleteTAH DAH!! And, the grand prize goes to Krista. Thank you, Krista. I've been driving that point. Words without actions are just...words.
DeleteWhat really exacerbates the problem is social networking cites. Before Facebook and Twitter, a person could go home to escape the bullying at school. Now there is really no escaping it. They get online and there it is. Rumors spread like wildfire because all a kid has to do is post it as a status update. It is no coincidence that with the rise of social networking there has been a seeming rise in teen suicide. I absolutely think there is a correlation. Kids have always been mean to each other, but there is an anonymity that comes with the Internet. Somehow bad behavior is more acceptable if it's done over the Internet. When used correctly, there is nothing wrong with the cites. They allow for reconnecting with family find friends and helps build relationships and contacts with people from all over the world, but just like almost everything that started out with the best of intentions, there are people that took a good thing and turned it into something negative.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you 100%. The rise of social media has made it easier to make someone's existence a nightmare.
DeleteI am 57 years old, and I was able to take suicide "off the table as an option" just about 9 years ago. "It gets better" is true, but sometimes it takes a long time and teens MUST be given shelter from the bullying in the form of safe adults and safe places. Those of us who want to help have to put our time, talent and money where our mouths are and give those kids the power to withstand the cruelty and the ignorance that they will find around them. My chorus is putting together a program that will include presentations in schools, lists of resources that are both local and on the internet, and a concert that will include high school choirs and stories of teen suicides as well as teen victories. I'll let you know how it goes.
ReplyDeleteOne thing no one is mentioning is these kids are dieing as a result of their own doing ? Not excusing bulling but we have to go to the root of the matter,some are calling for this to become a hate crime,that would be like cuting a leaf off the tree and expecting the tree to die.Again we have to go to the root of the matter and that is "insecurity" both from the bullier and the bullied.NO one would kill themselves if they felt loved by their family or sure of themselves,security in ones self comes from a loving household.The bullier would'nt bully unless they were insecure and needed to feel a sence of impowerment from there peers,due to lack of love at home.These issues of bulling and even shootings at schools goes back to upbringing,divorce,lack of love,lack of disapline.As peter tosh once sang ,you cant blaim the youth!-Were geting mad at the youth when its the parents falt!!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst off dont talk like you know what its like to think about suicide. I tried to commit suicide myself and i came from a loving supportive family. My daughter commited suicide herself not a year ago at the age of 16. Not because her family didnt love her. I moved her from the school she was being bullied at because the school refused to take action but they continued on facebook. She was told every day by me and her father how much we loved her and how proud we are of her and we loved her girlfriend like she was our own. But i came home from work to find her dead in her room. She hung heself
DeleteMy heart goes out to you and your family,you are in my thoughts and prayers...... here's a little Irish Blessing to you and yours... "May The Blessings Of Each Day,Be The Blessings You Need Most..."
Deleteyes I was in your shoes in my teens...twice...bashed twice by the time I was 16,yes I can talk like I know ,cause I do know.....
Sorry for your lost ,i will be praying for the The comforter to heal your pain.With all due respect in response to your reply-we all think of suicide at one time or another,but there is a reason we dont-i did'nt cuz i was raised in the fear of the Lord,wich gave me selfworth.Iam not saying it to be mean ,but if you have other children or for people that need help in this situation,Why would you move away from school to school instead of confronting the problem-(insecurity)-saying you love them and showing them to love themselves are two diffrent things-Again iam not blaiming your parenting skills,as my heart goes out to you,(i say it for other parents)- why would she continue having a facebook if shes being harrased-NO ONE can victimise us unless WE let them, you mentioned that she had a girlfriend ,and you accepted her as your own,"maybe"she wanted you to tell her this lifestyle was wrong?-as sometimes kids know when there doing something wrong and they want to be repramanded-they want to be corrected,this is also why kids bully ,their crying out for love,trying to get attention by any means necessary-in ending-we are all insecure cause we dont have purpose or know who we are or where we come from,why were here ,etc,etc...Rejection of G-D is killing our society,for only knowing Jesus in a personal way will make us completly secure in ourselves and give us love for self,wich like i said is the root to this problem.I am not just a bloger but here to help in anything you need,hopeing we can agree to disagree and help bring light to this matter so it will never happen again, The Peace of G-D wich surpasses all understanding be upon you,in Jesus mighty name-SHALOM
Deletethis all has to do with upbringing wich makes a kid insecure or secure in themselves,depending if their parents loved them and discipline them,like peter tosh once sang "YOU CANT BLAIM THE YOUTH"-bulier or bullied it all goes to upbringing,if sshe really loved herself and felt unconditional love from parents she would of not takin her own life and if these bullys felt loved and unconditional love from parents they would'nt feel the need to bully-
ReplyDeleteSo did you take a stupid pill the morning you wrote this? You are right in one sense, this does have to do with upbringing, the upbringing of the tormentor, not the victim. The victim was just that, A VICTIM. It has nothing to do with whether she loved herself or felt unconditional love from parents. I know for a fact that she did because I am Eden Hope's aunt. This has to do with being tormented by your PEERS on a daily basis. This has to do with social networking sites which make it impossible to get away from the torment. YOU CAN DEFINITELY BLAME THE YOUTH!!! This is sanctimonious BS on your part.
DeleteIam deeply sorry for your lost,i lost my baby brother 3 years ago to an o.d.,and can only say Jesus makes a way were there is no way.AS far as this topic is concerned we have to agree to disagree,altho your reply confuses me,you say its upbringing on the bulliers side but not the bullied?First of all a victim has no power over its abuser ,but when people commit suicide,there not being victimised-cuz suicide is self-inflicted,i dont mean to sound cold hearted but if we really want to tackle this issue and make sure it does'nt happen again we need to understand in whole whats happening-insecurity is at the root of suicide and bullying-thats just the truth-and to say you want to blaime the youth i think is self righteousness on your part,we All effect each other,& to not blaime the upbringing of a child but blaime the child is to negate the responsibility we hold as adults.Peace-
DeleteIt makes me sad to hear these things.. and it pisses me off about schools saing they take it seriously. My school says the same thing and what makes it ironic is the fact that our asst. Principal is one of THE MOST homophobic people I've ever met. Not even 2 weeks ago he threatened to kick my girlfriend and I out for being who we are. When my girlfriend went to the principal she did NOTHING.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that they sit there, pushing their pencils, cramming down our throats - acceptance, respect, and equal treatment. Yet when one of their own goes against everything they turn their heads and act as if nothing occured.
Its proven that we, as the gay community, need to take things into our own hands and make the changes we're searching and yearning for. We can't expect he others to do it for us.
I'm weeping as I write. Beautiful child, what kind of monsters made you take your life? I wish I had been there, I wish you were here to tell MANY people about the pain you had been in. This is an epidemic that has to be stopped. Adults are just as guilty of bullying as young, unformed people (witness: the murder of a woman who unfriended someone on Facebook--WTF???). We need a nationwide--worldwide--movement that makes it a punishable crime to bully another human being, for any reason. And the parents of the miserable wretches who cause this kind of pain should be held accountable, too. I'm beyond angry about this. It is intolerable.
ReplyDeleteTo Angela from Las Vegas: PLEASE CONTACT ME AT THE LISTED EMAIL ADDRESS. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteRon
I live in Vancouver, WA. I honestly didn't think stuff like this happened here. I knew people get bullied, sometimes I'm one of them, but for it to get to this level! I thought that Vancouver was more excepting then that.
ReplyDelete