My band played "The Struggle" tonight with the usual zest. I made it through the whole song without breaking down at some point, which happens especially when we perform it after a recent teen suicide. It had been relatively calm for the past week or so. I said to one of my best friends, biggest fans, and occasional reader of the blog that it has been quite for a week or so, and that had me cautiously concerned. Then, I return home from another triumphant show only to get the news.
Friday, February 11th, 15-yer-old Drew Ferraro succumbed to bullycide. According to one of Drew's friends, "he was a funny, clever kid who played football and loved heavy metal music and gigs". Said another friend, "he was definitely bullied and he didn't want to go to school".
The sad irony is that his suicide came mere hours before the release of the very powerful song and video, "It Does Get Better", done by some of the best lesbian talent that the U.K. has to offer. Seeing that video, hearing that song, albeit not heavy metal, could've very well saved Drew's life. We'll never know.
It's imperative that everyone has resources readily available in the event that you're faced, eye-to-eye, with a potentially dangerous situation. Intervention works wonders, and it saves lives.
Wipeout Homophobia on facebook has a wonderful Suicide Support page
Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Knowing the signs of depression early on can be a very useful tool.
To the traumatized schoolmates and friends of Drew's who witnessed this event, please seek help. Sorting through this will be extremely difficult on your own. To the family of this young man, we wish you our heartfelt condolences. May you rest in Paradise, Drew Ferraro.
So very sad
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for this beautiful life cut short by hatred & ignorance homophobia causes. This is happening too often to ignore. He had so much to offer to this world. How horrendous his pain to have felt his only option was to end his life. What suffering he endured! Why must we be a society that seems to view homosexuality in the same light as the truly sick monsters who molest children, or other sick acts of the stealing of innocence such as the ones who bullied him. If they find proof of the scumbags who bullied him, I hope that they are 1) remorseful (too late to save him now!), 2) charged at the fullest extent of the law (laws that even choose to "look the other way"!) for any and all acts of criminal, intentional, premeditated hate. Come on people, open your eyes and heart & understand that just because someone was born differently than you does not EVER give you the right to judge or cause pain. These bullies are guilty of murder! Drew deserved his life to be happy! God how sad and what a waste of a beautiful life. I hope he will find the love he deserved in his next life, because he sure did not get it from his attackers! I'm too angry at this - we are not in the dark ages, wake up, our beautiful children are being pushed over the edge! Someone help!! I have 6 chilfren & to my knowledge, they are all straight. I would love & embrace their homosexuality if ANY of them came forward. I am straight as well but only because I happened to be born that way! Stop the hate. Scream this message... LOVE IS LOVE! We are all different & unique for a reason...it's called acceptance & tolerance...USE IT!!
ReplyDeleteTo anonymous, I don't think Drew was gay. The reports didn't mention it one way or another. Regardless, I'm angered too by the bullies that were allowed to get away with it. And saddened that no one seemed to notice how their words were slowly killing poor Drew.
ReplyDeleteDrew was definitely NOT gay, nor was there any implication of that in the article. Sorry if there was any confusion.
DeleteAdded to "To Anonymous": I agree. There's absolutely no indication, nor implication in the article, that Drew was gay. There was no mention either way. Suffice it to say that yet another teen has been lost to bullycide. That's a tragedy in and of itself. Gay or straight, no teen should have to go through that, and there are thousands of people worldwide working feverishly to bring this chapter to an abrupt end.
ReplyDeleteParent's need to teach their kid's how to treat people,I taught my kid's to alway's be their for the one's who get bullied,to go out of their way to be nice to them,their life's are full of friend's today.Kid's can be so cruel,I was bullied but only by the one's who had more than they deserved,they don't call It spoiled rotten for nothing.
ReplyDeleteThis is Drews cousin and Drew was not gay! Sick monsters are out there to destroy peoples life because they dont no better or they have no life themselves! I hope this impacts a lot of people to the max that bullying is not okay! And for the parents who had been talked to about there kids bullying others your just as much of a murderer!
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this. I've been trying to get across that not every teen who was bullied or a victim of bullycide was gay. I've even changed the intro to this blog to reflect that fact. Sorry for your loss.
DeleteThis is such a tragic story. As teen suicide becomes more of a pressing issue, parents need to become more educated. Check out http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-iac to learn more about teen suicide prevention. I recommend the site to all parents.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't matter if he was gay (I am, so I'm not putting anyone down here) or not. For some reason he was identified as different, or weak, in the sense that he wasn't going to fight back. The truth is that he was a very strong person who probably put up with bullying for years. He just came to his breaking point. The only shame in that lies with the bullies. They know who they are and they will have to live with this for the rest of their lives. The school should have an assembly and the speaker should make that very statement in order to drive it home to these kids that "Sticks and Stones will break their Bones, but Names WILL Hurt and KILL them".
ReplyDeleteGreetings Ron,
ReplyDeleteI follow your blog, and I wanted to point out a major flaw in your article. Teens can be depressed without being bullies. I was relatively unbullied and was one of the kids that didn't totally follow through. I'm still here. There is an additional article, it may have been posted after yours, indicating that Drew was not bullied.
This does not make the suicide any less tragic, but people need to back off of the supposed students and parents of the nonexistent bullies and recognize this for what it is. An act of suicide that could or could not have been readily visible. There are not always warning signs. I know that there weren't for my cousin Diana.
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/02/la-crescenta-high-school-suicide.html
First of all, thank you for following my blog. The more people who follows it, the more we can all get done in our efforts to end this madness. As for the flaw you mentioned, I have repeatedly said that not all teen suicides are from bullying. Unfortunately, too many people immediately think that was the case and start protesting. I know of several recent ones that had nothing to do with bullying, and I've written about them in this blog. However, in the case of Drew Ferraro, he was indeed bullied. And, I get that from an extremely reliable source. Forget what the article in the L.A. Times says. "They" will always play down the bullying angle until we, the people, force them to start taking it seriously and doing something about it. Trust me when I tell you this: Drew was bullied to his death. Thank you for your comment, and I hope you continue reading the blog. It seems to be making a difference.
DeleteTo Drew's cousin who commented & the rest of his family, I'm so sorry for your loss. You're doing the right thing by trying to bring awareness & at least having something good come from his death. These bullying deaths are so senseless & needless, but if all the families are as brave as yours and and speak out & save at least 1 person.....just think what can be done! Strength be with you all.
ReplyDelete