Friday, January 13, 2012

More on EricJames Borges

If I could, I'd give $1,000,000 to the first person who could explain to me how being an "extreme Christian" is any different that being a neo-Nazi.  Their hatred is destructive, not to mention very UN-Christ-like.  "Disgusting"?  "Damned to Hell"?  Those sound like two pretty good descriptions, to me, of some of these hate-mongers who hide behind the cloak of God and religion.  If "zero tolerance" on bullying is our goal, if we're seeking to increase the penalties levied on those who bully, EricJames' "parents" should be right there on the front cover of the Zero Tolerance manifesto.

When the story of young EricJames first hit yesterday, the details were still being formulated.  Now that there is more information, his suicide becomes all the more heartbreaking.  Demoralizing.  And, for me at least, maddening.  EricJames was a rising superstar with a beautiful soul.  He would've been a difference maker.  A game breaker.  His talents and his passion for helping others would have affected many, many people.

As an intern with The Trevor Project, he worked to prevent teen suicide in the LGBT community.  He created his own "It Gets Better" video a month to the day before his suicide.  The video is well made and very well scripted.  In viewing it, however, I'm not convinced that HE was convinced that the words he were saying held validity.  Who could blame him, given his circumstances?

And, the parents.  I am serious with my contention that they need to be brought up on charges like any other person who bullies a person to death.  As we see the wave of support, nationwide, continue to swell in favor of punishing people guilty of bullycide, these people should absolutely be held accountable for EricJames' death.  His mother performed an exorcism on him!  Are you serious!?  Then, to further trample his self-esteem, they called him very UNGodly names and, for the knock out blow, kick him out of the house...effectively banishing him from the family.

So, here he is:  19-years-old, just coming out of the closet, starting college, and condemned and abandoned by his family.  Stop for a second and just imagine the inner pain and turmoil he was going through.  Now, multiply what you just imagined ten-fold. 

The coming out process is supposed to be liberating, not a death sentence.  Your first year of college is supposed to be an adventure, a new beginning, a coming of age, not a horrific continuation of the bullying and harassment endured in middle and high school.  Family is supposed to be your foundation, the people you can always turn to when times are overwhelming, real or imagined.  I can speak from experience when I say that that's a myth that truly needs to be abolished.  However, even with the shithole of a family that I was saddled with, I can say that they were never abusive.  They weren't nasty, mean-spirited, or evil about it.  They just shut the door on me.  In EricJames case, they may as well have held a to his temple and pulled the trigger themselves.

Like so many of the young suicide victims, in particular LGBT teens, I steadfastly believe that EricJames was merely trying to convince himself that it really is possible for a young LGBT person to find real love in a world that exhibits such hatred and intolerance.  Surely, his parents showed him that he was not lovable.  The ones who bullied him throughout his life taught him that he was not acceptable.  For me, the saddest memory of EricJames' life will be the short film he created and produced.  In the film, you can see him in the throes of love and passion.  It wasn't enough to sustain him.  The unspoken subtext to the film is obvious, but I love his words. 
Love is universal.  It has the strength to decimate the threshold of all prejudice, all inequity.  Human relationships, and those who come into our lives, have the ability to ultimately shape who we are.  There is importance in loving each other the way each of us truly deserves....
Makes me cry every time.  You're at peace now, EricJames.

9 comments:

  1. I really do wish that I could put into words how I feel reading this. Sad...yes. Upset...yes. Angry...there's not a word strong enough to say just how angry I am. As a father, I can't imagine ever turning my back on my kids. Or ever calling them the kinds of names EricJames was called. The love that a parent has for their children should be total, unconditional, and all-consuming. These people weren't parents, simply and egg and sperm donor.

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  2. I can't tell you how much I agree with you.

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  3. I agree wholeheartedly. The kids that bullied him, the adults who betrayed him and especially the family who abused and turned on him should be held accountable for the tragedy they've caused. Can anyone find me a passage in the Bible that advised parents to "exorcise," demean and abandon their children for not loving people of the "right" gender? Although I'm not religious, I do believe that everyone has the right to their own religion and their own beliefs... Until they start using those beliefs as free pass to be a despicable human being.

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  4. SAD..SAD..SAD..ALL CHRISTIANS EVERYWHERE SHOULD BE APPALLED AT THE WAY HIS PARENTS TREATED HIM...THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS I AGREE WITH U..HE WAS BORN PERFECT IN EVERY WAY AND IS THE WAY GOD MEANT FOR HIM TO BE,HOW PEOPLE COULD BE CRUEL AND NOT SEE THAT IS BEYOND ME...I AM SURE ABOUT ONE THING JESUS IS HURTING FROM ALL THE AWFUL PAIN ERICJAMES HAD TO RECEIVE FROM HIS FAMILY AND OTHERS...SMH..REST IN PEACE ERIC..GOD BLESS YOU SON YOU DID SO MUCH TO HELP OTHERS AND YES YOU DID MAKE A DIFFERENCE!WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!

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  5. I want to scream at the top of my lungs! I am so angered by this - saddened beyond belief - but incredibly angry!
    I wrote a couple of years ago a poem about those who call themselves christians yet are the worst offenders of hate that I know. I suppose it affects me so deeply because I was told by a christian family member that I was an abomination to God and disgusting. When will it end?

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    1. I don't see it ever ending. They will die believing that they're justified, as "Christians" to hate in the name of the Lord. And, that's troubling. However, I DO think that, as we continue to speak out and the numbers continue to increase, we will eventually begin to see a softening of their rhetoric. Hate speech is not free speech. Holding people accountable for their hate speech, especially when the end result is the death of another human being, is absolutely essential.

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  6. I viewed his video on December 10, and sent him a note of encouragement - because it really was the start of a lot of new and wonderful possibilities for him at that time. He replied on the 28th. And now this.

    He's the fourth/fifth young LGBT suicide in California's Central Valley in the past 18 months. We're becoming another Anoka-Hennepin, and THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

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    1. Of course, the difference being no Michele Bachmann as a driving force.

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    2. I agree with you, after watching the video, I was not convinced, that he totally believed that all would be OK. I think he honestly wanted it to be true with all his heart and soul. I just pray that he is in peace, pure happiness, and feeling the love!

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