Monday, January 30, 2012

EricJames Borges' Final Words

He was a very gifted young man.  His talent for filmmaking was made evident in the short film he made not long before his death.  People who knew him well said that EricJames had just barely scratched the surface of what would've been a terrific career and very rewarding life.  Scorned, demonized, abused both physically and emotionally by his parents, EricJames was left with scars from his coming out process that he couldn't recover from.  In a perfect world, EricJames' parents would be charged with homicide for his death.  This isn't a perfect world, and that will never happen.  No more so than the school administrators and State officials will be held culpable in the suicides of Phillip Parker or Jacob Rogers.

Memorial services were held for EricJames this past weekend.  Hundreds attended.  They went to remember.  They went to mourn.  And, they went to celebrate a gifted young life that's tragically, and needlessly, gone too soon.  It's noteworthy that his parents, the two people who gave him life only to take it away, didn't show up to the memorial services.  They were invited.

EricJames' last words, in a copyrighted suicide note that I'm not privy to, spoke lovingly to the ones who would become his de facto family in the end:  the ones who really cared and loved him.  He spoke of Lady Gaga, leaving money to her Born This Way Foundation which benefits LGBT youth.  He also left money to several other LGBT organizations that would help LGBT teens.  As was shown in his "It Gets Better" video, recorded a month before his suicide, and in death, EricJames was passionate about helping other LGBT teens so they wouldn't have to experience the sheer hell he was put through.

It is critical that we understand that the work that needs to be done before we can end teen-on-teen bullying pales in comparison to the work that needs to be done dealing with the adults in our society.  The kids are a mere reflection of what they're learning from the adults.  That a parent could inflict the type of pain EricJames' parents inflicted upon him is reprehensible, if not criminal.  No child should ever have to endure that, especially from the ones who gave him life.  Yet, it happens.  EricJames is not an isolated case.  That lawmakers can even dream of passing the type of damaging laws that a Michele Bachmann, a Stacey Campfield, or a John Ragan not only dream of but sign into law is reckless, irresponsible, and dangerous.  I've said it many times before, but it bears saying many more times:  the war against bullying has to start with the adults.  There's no way around it.

"My pain is not caused because I'm gay.  My pain was caused by the way I was treated because I am gay."  Pause to absorb that for a moment.  It can't get more to the point than that.  Those were the words EricJames wrote to end his suicide note.

I hope you're at peace now, EricJames.  Your family misses you.  Your real family.


  1. wow. reading that actually made me really angry. I sure hope eric is at peace now....

  2. Great post Ron, and keep up the fight to end the trend in this country. My son is gay and even though we knew before he came out, we have always been supportive. He is a very successful young man working as a Sommelier in a very nice restaurant in San Francisco. It has not always been easy for him, but as long as his family has supported him, which includes 6 siblings, he has made it through some very hard trials. For those family members that read this. Love your children unconditionally, and support who they are regardless of how you were taught. Rest in peace to all the lost children, but lets save the rest of the ones at risk.

  3. This world that we "live" in is truly f'ed up. This has to end, not soon, not someday, NOW!

  4. My believe is, when someone bullys and harrases someone into suicide, it should be seen as cold bloodet murder and it should be punished as such.