Rest In Peace Ashlynn Conner (she was 10 YEARS OLD!!!)

I'm reminded of a saying: "if nothing changes, nothing changes".  There is NO WAY a family of a 10 year old should be mourning and planning a funeral for their child BECAUSE OF BULLYING!  NO WAY!!  THIS has got to end!!  Where are such young kids learning to be so extraordinarily cruel?  The answer, far too often, is they learn it from home.  Teach your children well.  Rest in peace, young Ashlynn.

How Some Parents Drive Their Kids to Suicide (Updated)

I've been saying for too many years that there are parents in this country, and probably around the world, who drive their gay or lesbian sons or daughters to suicide.  And, to their defense, I will say that they don't even realize they're doing it until it's too late.  We as adults, young or old, already know how difficult the teen years can be.  The teasing, the bullying, the "trying to fit in", the sheer weight of peer pressure.  Toss into the ring the reality of being a gay or lesbian who is still figuring themselves out - or, for that matter, even the ones who are confident within themselves with their sexuality - which is almost certain to bring added pressure and tension.  Take all of that turmoil that they're already dealing with at school amongst their peers, add to it living in a household where they already know that gays and lesbians are not accepted, looked down upon, or (in some cases) vehemently hated.  That's a recipe for disaster.  It plays out in household across this country, and around the world, every single day.  Remember: every 18 minutes, a kid takes his own life.  That's an epidemic!  It's time we start changing the way we think in order to start saving some lives.  Even the strongest steel breaks under too much pressure.

UPDATE:
I thought it was fitting to add to this entry.  At this very moment, I'm also chatting with a simply delightful, highly intelligent, very handsome and sensitive young man.  Unfortunately, he also fights suicidal tendencies regularly.  And, at the root of that is a home where his family, his parents belittle him (at best) for who his is.  I spend as much time as needed, and as I can, talking to him.  It's paying off.  He IS doing better by the day.  However, this morning, his self-esteem took another punch to the gut as his own mother called him "...a fool" for being in love with someone from his own sex.  If only we could get these parents to understand the devastating affect some of their words have on their children, I'm sure the suicide rate amongst teens, gay and straight alike, would be drastically lower.  Here's the blog entry this young man made (his permission to reblog was granted) after being verbally assaulted by his own mother:

Heartbroken…

I feel like everyone is stalking at me… Pressured just anywhere I go… Finally when I’d try to get closer to someone I love from all my heart… someone will surely be there to break my least effort… and break my heart to tiny pieces…

Even my own family wants to take away from me what matters to me the most… Urging me not to have what my life is just all about… if that’s so then I don’t even need my life either :( 

Sometimes I just wish to run away and get the whole thing over with…

Only then comes school, where I’m, yet again, handled as a darts target, a trash can, a whatever… what does life worth like this? :(

A grateful thanks to the few beautiful people who reassure me from time to time… ily!

Pray for change.  Then work towards making it happen.

Even the strongest steel breaks under too much pressure.

SUPPORT RESOURCES

• SUPPORT RESOURCES (updated)

  This is a link to a wonderful page giving many different types of resources. http://www.feelingblue.org/resources#yspr
  
  

  • National Suicide Prevention Organizations
  • National Support Groups
  • Depression Resources
  • Youth Suicide Prevention Resources
  • Resources for Finding Facts and Figures
  • Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgendered Questioning Resources (GLBTQ)
  • Pennsylvania Resources
  • Survivor of Suicide Resources

  
  Feeling Blue Suicide Prevention Council is a community-based organization dedicated to preventing suicide, reducing the stigma associated with suicide, and supporting those people affected by depression or by the loss of a loved one to suicide. We do this through education and support.
  
  A couple more links have been added, so I wanted to post them here:
  
  COPING WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
  This is a link for a downloadable PDF done by C.O.M.H. (Consortium for Organizations Mental Healthcare)
  
  http://www.comh.ca/publications/pages/cwst/
  
  HOPE AND HEALING AFTER SUICIDE
  A practical guide (download )for people who have lost someone to suicide in Ontario (adapted from Alberta but updated for Ontario)
  http://www.camh.net/News_events/Media_centre/hopehealing_publication.html
  
  
  
  Thanks, Barb (again!), for posting this.

Make a Note; Have a Plan

A couple things became obvious after last night's ordeal(s) (yes, there was a second one later in the evening): 1.) this truly is an epidemic.  Last night, in a period of 5 hours, three young people THAT WE KNOW OF attempted to take their own lives; one succeeded.  So, I guess it's safe to say that it served as a microcosm of society as a whole:  for all our efforts, we just couldn't get to them all; and, 2.) there needs to be a concrete plan in place for when this crisis reaches you.  And, trust me, at the rate of 1 suicide EVERY 18 MINUTES!, it's only a matter of time before it effects your life.  Map out your plan, now.  Make mental notes.  If it's pre-crisis, meaning no attempt has been made but the at-risk person is in a very fragile state, get professional help immediately.  If it's too late for that, if the attempt has already been made and every second counts, call the proper authorities immediately.  Every single second counts.  We're going to win this battle and cut significantly into the current statistics.  We can make a difference!!!

What Would You Do?

Last night, we had a crisis in my online community.  There were signs that a suicide attempt may be underway.  So, for the next several hours, several of us scrambled in an attempt to put something concrete together to present to the proper authorities.  After nearly three hours of intense information gathering and sharing, we were able to track down the at-risk person and get them to the hospital.  Safe and sound.

Once I was able to catch my breath, it made me sit and wonder what would you do?  How would you have handled a similar situation?  Would you believe that there was one young person who had the vital information we needed but wouldn't (COULDN'T) give it to us because their parents said "don't get involved with it, it isn't your business."  Saving a life, whether you know the person or not, should be EVERYBODY'S business.

A Suicide Note

A while back, my former songwriting partner contacted me to ask if I could "come up with something..." for him.  He had this title, and an idea of what he wanted the song to be written about.  And, he knew that it was a subject matter that was very dear to my heart.  Still is.

This is written as an actual suicide note.  I would greatly love to wipe out the need for any parent, any friend, and loved-one to ever have to read a similar in their lifetime.  Please pay close attention to the lyric of this song, then do EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER to make sure no parent or loved-one has to endure reading a letter like this again.

Ever Wonder Where The Atmosphere of Hate Comes From?

We live in a very complex world. Our society has become deeply divided and polarized. And, people have become all too comfortable with spewing hatred and intolerance all in the name of God. Case in point is that church, you know the one I'm talking about, that, in the name of God(so they believe), goes around to funerals and high schools with extremely toxic, hateful, and purely evil signs stating how much God hates fags, how fags should burn in hell, and worse. Here's a deeper issue, and one that really merits looking into: these people have children, no doubt. So, what's the lesson learned by the children? That it's totally ok to hate as long as it's done in the name of God. That intolerance is fine as long as God is in the mix. And, you wonder why there are hate-filled bullies in the schools? Well, wonder no more.  Here's the eye-opener: one state just sanctioned bullying as long as....