Dharun Ravi Convicted of Hate Crime in Tyler Clementi's Death

This verdict is in:  Dharun Ravi, GUILTY of hate crime in the Tyler Clementi case.  This arrogant young man had a chance to plea out to a lesser charge, one that would've assured him no jail time, late last year but opted, instead, to take it to trial.  Foolish mistake.  Instead, Mr. Ravi was found guilty on all 15 charges against him.  Sentencing is to come, and he's looking at years.  Tyler Clementi's family was sentenced to life without him on September 22, 2010 because of Dharun Ravi's actions.  He gets off easy.

As 18-year-old first-year students at the prestigious Rutgers University, Ravi and Clementi ended up being roommates.  Tyler had just come out to his family as being gay before he left for college.  Once at school, and as Ravi's roommate, he met with a man with whom he'd apparently started becoming intimate with.  Dharun Ravi decided it would be cool to secretly set up a webcam and broadcast Tyler and his partner during their intimacy on his Twitter account.  As a result, Tyler Clementi committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge.  The case made national, international!, headlines.  It was also one of a flurry of LGBT teen suicides in September 2010 that included Seth Walsh and Asher Brown.

Dharun Ravi, incredibly, was offered a plea bargain December of last year that would've all but set him free.  He would've received no jail time and would've been able to remain in this country.  He declined.  He wanted to argue his case.  He lost.  And, now, he's facing prison time as well as deportation.

In my own opinion, the question that isn't being explored is why was he offered a plea deal in the first place?  Why was the State of New Jersey willing to offer this man much lesser charges with no consequences when his actions led directly to the suicide death of Tyler Clementi?  To me, that's almost as troublesome as Ravi's actions.  Luckily, he had the misguided notion that he could win if only he was able to have his day in court to present "his side" of the story.

"His side" of the story is irrelevant.  A jury told him that today.  Tyler Clementi is gone forever because of Dharun's actions.  Let's hope that this very high-profile case of homophobic bullying, it's tragic results, and now the consequences for the perpetrator sends a message to those who think that bullying is cool or acceptable:  there will be consequences for your actions. 

The Clementis suffer the consequences of your actions every single day of their lives, Mr. Ravi.  Now, so will you.

The Rock & The Ripe

I just spent a couple hours going over this project.  Going over this project, familiarizing myself with it, caused me to go back and review some of the videos and stories about people like Phillip Parker, Jamey Rodemeyer, Ashlynn Conner, Seth Walsh, Jamie Hubley.  The list is sickeningly long.  Then, I cried.  With every different face I saw, I cried.  Then, I got mad.

I watched videos that reminded me just how important this all is because there are actually people, and I mean high-profile people, working just as hard to minimize or even eradicate everything we're doing.  To them, bullying isn't a problem; LGBT teens shouldn't have "special protection"; LGBT teens bring their problems on themselves by being out.  Thank the God of your understanding that we outnumber them.

I named this blog Enough is Enough for a very specific and obvious reason.  Our society has been plagued long enough by narrow-mindedness, ruled too long by a "moral majority" (which , by the way, they're neither) who feel that everyone should live by THEIR standards or be damned.  And, in the cross hairs are struggling, emotionally fragile LGBT teens.  And, the result is far too often...suicide.  Enough TRULY is enough.

In watching the video promoting The Rock & The Ripe, one segment stopped me in my tracks.  I watched it repeatedly.

So, don't be f*cking shocked and wonder where all these bullies are coming from that are torturing young kids and are driving them to kill themselves because they're different.  They learned it from watching you.

That's directed at every politician who continues to attempt to pass legislation that minimizes LGBT teens; that's directed at every teacher who turns a blind eye at the bullying of an LGBT teen; that's directed at every parent who speaks hatred and intolerance around their own children, ESPECIALLY if they have LGBT kids.

Watching those videos got me angry.

Mark Blane is 23-year-old gay man who was bullied unmerciful as a teen.  He is also a very talented director and playwright.  He is inspired and inspiring.  He's assembled, in his words, "...an incredible network of artists, actors, and activists..." in his effort to "...expose the secrets and real issues behind gay [teen] bullying in America."

"The Rock & The Ripe" the play, is set for production in Chicago June 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.  Mark's ambition is to get the funding to take it nationwide.  He's going to need massive help in doing so.

"The Rock & The Ripe", the book, goes into deeper detail.

The book will be a dissection of how this process and project came to be, the atrocious facts and stories of anti-gay bullying from across the country, information commemorating the lives of 14-year-old Phillip Parker, 14-year-old Rafael Morelos, and many others. Direct quotes from phone-calls, in-person interviews in communities across the country that are affected by homophobia, ignorance, careless town officials, and unsympathetic and uneducated (ironically) school administrations. This book will be PACKED with photography, research, plus insight into the the minds of the actors/activists.

Enough really is enough.  Our numbers are growing around the world, and our voices are being heard.  People young and old, black and white, gay and straight, and everywhere in between, are standing up and saying enough is enough!!!  And, we are making a difference. The reality of it is we're going to have to create the change we're seeking.  The politicians won't do it.  The educators won't do it.  And, too many parents won't do it.  WE are the ones who will make the difference at the end of the day.  Mark is doing his part at trying to make a differnce.  He needs help getting his project up and running.

He's created a Kickstarter page for people to contribute as little as $5 towards getting his story out.  If you're unfamiliar with how Kickstarter works, it's an all-or-nothing proposition.  Anyone can contribute.  There's a set target amount.  Anything at or above that amount, Mark gets for his project.  However, if that number isn't met, he - and, the project - gets nothing.

It's a story that must get out!!!

Supporting Diversity Role Models

This is getting good.  Lately, there's been more "good news" stories to write about than the heavy alternate.  I like that.

In the U.K., there's an organization called Diversity Role Models.  Their mission is to do just that:  provide role models for LGBT teens in an effort to help combat bullying and avoid attempted suicides. 

The movement is growing worldwide!!  I wrote earlier about the Monster March Against Bullying that's set to occur here in the U.S. in October.  And, there's more coming all the time.  Power in numbers.  Our numbers are growing worldwide, and this is a prime example.

From June 29th through July 20th, Andrew Makin will bike through England, Wales, and Scotland - over 700 miles!! - to raise money for Diversity Role Models.  It's a cause everyone can get behind. 

"Why Does It Matter?":

Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) young people are three times more likely to attempt suicide. Two thirds of them suffer bullying at school. They often don't have an adult to talk to at home or at school. We all know bullied students can't focus on learning and achievement.

But it's not just LGB and T young people. Straight students are terrified of being called 'gay'. Girls drop out of sport and boys hide artistic talent to conform to gender roles and avoid being labelled gay or lesbian.

And what about the young people who have LGB or T family members? Do they feel safe talking about their loved ones openly?

This issue affects ALL young people. Someone needs to talk to them about diversity; it's a difficult topic. We accept this challenge.

Says Diversity Role Models:

Not only does Diversity Role Models help the young, it is changing the standing of all LGBT people for the better. By educating schoolchildren, and challenging the remnants of homophobia in popular culture, it breaks down barriers by showing LGBT individuals as real people.

We are all too familiar with the effects of homophobic bullying as it pertains to LGBT teens.  We are, sadly, also too familiar with the reality that "the other side" still doesn't get it and is more than willing to turn a blind eye or sweep it under the carpet.  Therefore, it is completely up to us, the LGBT community - both young and old - to take matter into our own hands and protect, and nurture, our LGBT teens. 

Andrew Makin is doing his fair share in June.  We can all be a part of it, though, from wherever we are in the world.  We can learn more about Diversity Role Models on their webpage; and, we can donate to his fundraiser page for this summer's bike ride across the U.K.

There are a lot of great causes out there today; however, being involved in turning the tide on homophobic bullying of LGBT teens, and homophobia in general!, and attacking the LGBT teen suicide rate ranks right at the top of the list for me.

100 Homophobes Tweet They'd KILL Their Gay Child!!!

Everytime it seems we're turning a corner on some of the madness we face, something comes along to remind us that there's still plenty of work that needs to be done.  And, this one ranks right near the top of the list of the worst things I've ever seen.

On Monday, March 12th, trending on storify was tweets to people's unborn children.  Tweets that vowed to KILL their unborn child if he or she turned out to be LGBT.  I don't think it gets any worse than that.  Luckily, these tweets were picked up on by someone, and these people are being put in the spotlight. 

Codie Sowders wrote:

#ToMyUnbornChild if you so much as think about being a homosexual I'll put a bullet in your damn skull

From Daborey  Burrell comes this:

#ToMyUnbornChild if you turn out gay, I will burn you alive.

Rob Grant wrote:

#ToMyUnbornChild if your gay or retarded I will kill you.

And, this tweet from Chris Woodie:

#ToMyUnbornChild If you think gay is an option,let me know because we'll abort you

Extremely graphic, I know.  However, I think it's urgent that we know, and fully realize that there truly ARE people out there who, by their own admission!, would kill their own child if he or she were gay.  Worse, they said it unabashedly, as if the murdering of unwanted LGBT children was just the norm.

My first thought was "I sure hope they don't have any other children!"  Any person who can even formulate such a thought about any human being at all, let alone their very own unborn child should, at the very least, be mandated to have every snip and tie done as to assure that they can never, ever reproduce.  This level of homophobia is reprehensible. 

Here's the danger:  this level of hatred, intolerance, and violence is precisely the accelerant that fuels the violence against the LGBT teens we're seeing today.  And, as we're being shown more and more every single day, the violence against LGBT teens, the bullying, is a learned behavior taught to them, in many if not most cases, by adults.  Directly or indirectly.  Imagine:  Codie Sowders has another child, or children!.  Wonderful parent in all aspects; however, the child or children knows Codie's intolerant feeling towards gays.  And, that level of hatred would be impossible to mask despite the best efforts.  Well, what do you think the odds would be of that child, or those children, growing up to become homophobes themselves?  And, thus, the vicious cycle continues.  The bullying continues.  The LGBT teen suicide rate remains the same.  And, frightfully, if an LGBT child is born to any one of these people, the murder rate will go up as well.  By their own admission.

I've got a real problem with this one.  Hopefully, a lot of people have a real problem with it.  Just reading these real tweets from real "people" should be enough to get your blood up to 210 degrees.  For that other 2 degrees needed to reach boiling point, realize that there are teachers, judges, police officers, definitely politicians. priests and preachers...people from every walk of life with this level of homophobia. 

It's getting better, yes.  We still have lots of work to do.

Glen Burnie Tells Westboro Baptist "Church" Thanks, But No Thanks

I found out about this just a little bit too late to make it there in time.  Glen Burnie is 40 minutes from where I live.  In fact, I once lived IN Glen Burnie.  Cozy little blue-collar city nestled between Baltimore and Annapolis.

For some reason, Fred and the gang thought that this would be a good place to bring their message of hate.  See, Glen Burnie High School's principal is a lesbian.  So, of course, their God sent them on a mission to come and attempt to traumatize the entire school in an effort to get her to step down.  That's their message:  "God Hates Fags!"  And, it's their duty to spread their message any and everywhere they possibly can.

Glen Burnie wasn't having it.

After learning about their planned protest last week, the city of Glen Burnie planned a counterattack.  A very effective counterattack.  Fred and his crew of haters, all 3 of them, were met with the surprise of their miserable lives.  Ordinary citizens, black, white, gay, straight, young, old, and everything in between showed up en masse to tell them that their message of hate is NOT welcome here in Maryland.  The school was surrounded by the counter protesters even before the prophets of hate made their appearance.  The County Police were there to form a barrier wall between the good guys and the evil ones.  Bikers showed up on their loud bikes specifically for the purpose of drowning out any nonsense Fred and company may spew from their mouths.  What an awesome display of complete rejection! 

“You cannot allow hate to come into your community without confronting it,” said Chris Panasuk, counter-protester.

Great quote, and even better point.  If enough communities would send them the same message, maybe they'd crawl back under the rock from which they came.  Then again, probably not.  Moot.  What's important is that, after a scant half-hour, The Hate Gang got the message, tucked their tails, and left town.

I could be wrong, but if God hates anything at all, it would be people who use His name to justify their own hatred and intolerance.  Apparently, their Bible doesn't include the first book of John.  Right there, 1 John 4:8, in plain black and white, it says "God is Love".  Maybe they just missed that part.

Awesome display of solidarity, Maryland.  Today made me proud to be a Marylander!

From the Mouths of Babes

This is why I love Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook so much!  You don't get this kind of story just anywhere.  One of their 360,000+ members sent in a letter that was written as a speech.  The writer?  Her 11-year old daughter, Leehem.  Leyla Hillman Farrell sent them this letter:

Hi Everyone,

My 11 year old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a speech on a particular topic that she feels very strongly about. As a straight ally, I am very proud to say that she chose gay rights, as her topic. Here is her speech. I hope this serves as a comfort in knowing that the upcoming generation (as young as 11) understand!!

 It's the letter from her 11-year-old daughter that steals the show.

Now, I know there are people, like myself, who may have a hard time reading the original letter.  For you, here's the letter in plain text:

Gay Rights by Leehem Farrell

Our family has many gay friends. We even have a close gay friend who lives right next door. I think it's so unfair that gay people cant get married. Its because gay people don't have as many rights as straight people. If two people love each other then it shouldn't matter if they are a boy and a girl, or two boys, or two girls, they should still be allowed to get married!!!

Some kids get bullied in school because they were born gay. If my friend was bullied for being gay, I would stand up for them and tell the bully that they were being ignorant.

We are all people......they were "born this way ".

Keep in mind that she's 11-years-old.  SHE GETS IT!!!  She proves the point that hatred and intolerance are learned behaviors.  We may be "born this way", as far as our sexual orientation is concerned; however, no one is born to hate or to be intolerant.

Hatred, and its evil twin intolerance, are behaviors that are taught to young people from other adults.  Sadly, in a lot of cases, those adults are right there in the same household and go by the names of "Mom" and "Dad".  Or, maybe they're learning it from listening to some of the politicians.  There's no shortage of narrow-minded, hate-filled people calling themselves politicians these days.  OR, perhaps they even learned from Rev. Hatealot during their Sunday church services.  There's a lot of that going on these days.  They confuse me.  I was always taught that God is love. (says so right in that same Bible)  However, the "God" they talk about is mean and hateful.  Or, is it just them...using "God" as a smoke screen for their own hatred.  As I see it, teaching hate and intolerance takes effort; however, being loving, caring, understanding, and accepting is natural.  We're born that way.

The bright side of it is that Leehem is showing us something that I've been alluding to a lot:  the future is bright and in good hands.  The young ones know, as we all did at one point in our lives, that love is love.  Everybody has the equal right to love whomever he or she happens to fall in love with.  No laws to regulate it.  No Bible verse to condemn it.  No backwards, hillbilly, myopic-minded "pastor" bringing his protesting "congregation" around with handmade signs of ignorance.(sorry, Fred.  Couldn't resist.)  Just the freedom, the God-given freedom, to love whomever we love.  It's really just that simple.  We were born that way.

Great job, Leehem!  You're going to be a great leader someday.  And, AWESOME job raising your daughter, Leyla.  You are obviously a wonderful person full of love and compassion, yourself.  You were obviously born that way.

Celebrating Acceptance: Dad gets "Born This Way" Tattoo!!

What a marvelous story of acceptance!!  At a time when we're grasping and struggling for acceptance, at a time when we're losing teen after teen after LGBT teen to suicide because of a lack thereof, we get this heartwarming story from Jessica Romani about her brother, Dylan.

Dylan, who is bisexual, went through all of the usual trials and tribulations that nearly all LGBT teens experience.  He knew at a very young age that he was "different".  He struggled with acceptance of himself!  And, of course, he was bullied.  Or, according to Jessica, he dealt with "extreme bullying".

In Dylan's own words, "...I was so scared of what he would do or think or say because he's a tough guy and i am his only son so I didn't want to be a disappointment or anything."  That sounds familiar.  What he found, instead, was the surprise of his life.  Fred Romani, the dad, in an amazing show of unconditional love and acceptance, got the Lady Gaga-inspired catch-phrase, "Born This Way" tattooed in Italian on his wrist.  Dylan already had it on his.  You have to watch the video to see the reaction to it.

When I read Jessica's and Dylan's description of their dad, the image comes to mind of the stereotypical testosterone-driven Italian male.  Sylvester Stallone.  Santino Corleone.  Fred Romani showed, however, that macho men also have a heart.  Especially when it comes to family.  Even moreso, I would say, when it comes to his only son!  It's that show of unconditional love and acceptance, even if he doesn't yet fully understand what his son is going through, that makes the most significant difference.  It's that acceptance that, say, EricJames Borges was looking for but got the opposite, instead.  And, we know where that led.  The mental and emotional health of young Dylan Romani grew exponentially by Fred's gesture of support.  That's what makes this story so important.  And, quite touching.

I first viewed this video, and story, yesterday on Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook, the social network super page that is helping so many people, LGBT and straight alike, and saving lives.  It's stories like this that makes us realize that love really is winning the war over hate.  For Fred, an old school Italian dad, to reach out to his young, struggling son with such a loving gesture, and then to see Dylan's caught-off-guard, stunned reaction speaks volumes to the power of love and acceptance.

The hope, of course, is that this video will catch on and go viral so that people all over the world can see with their own eyes the sheer power of unconditional love and acceptance.  Dylan's tears of joy say it all.  If more families showed their LGBT teens this type of support....  Well, you know.  Let's hope that this video is a harbinger of things to come.